According to William Ury in “The Power of a Positive No” instead of saying “No” you are most likely doing one of the following:
Accommodating: instead of saying no you accommodate the other person’s request, and in doing so lose your power.
Attacking: instead of saying no you get upset and attack the other person, and in doing so lose relationship.
Avoid: instead of saying no, you avoid the entire situation, resulting in a loss of power and relationship.
Which of the three “A’s” is your biggest substitute for saying “No”?
Once you clearly identify your accommodate, attack, avoid tendencies you are better prepared to start saying “No”