When I was younger, so much younger than today,
I never needed anybody’s help in any way.
But now these days are gone, I’m not so self assured,
Now I find I’ve changed my mind and opened up the doors.
Help me if you can, I’m feeling down
And I do appreciate you being round.
Help me, get my feet back on the ground,
Won’t you please, please help me.
And now my life has changed in oh so many ways,
My independence seems to vanish in the haze.
But every now and then I feel so insecure,
I know that I just need you like I’ve never done before.
We all know this Beatles tune… but can you say help when you need it?
I have learned that this is what the 12 step program is all about, changing your mind and opening up the doors. For many of us we have lived a life never needing anybody’s help in any way. Now our egos, our shame seem to create a rift between us and the help we need. People who are OCD, control freaks, people pleasers, codependents, abused, abusers, alcoholics, addicts: we all have trouble asking for help.
Our independence seems to have vanished in the haze, and we fool ourselves into thinking if we just buck up we can work through the issues, but does this really make us hum a happy tune?
It is amazing, the comfort in sharing and listening during a support group gathering. Here is a band of people you don’t know, who have seen through the haze and asked for help and who have the strength to offer another person sitting right next to them through their challenges. They listen with a kindly tuned ear and a melodic, compassionate heart. They help lighten the tune of our dissonant chords of life.
And as a people pleaser myself I can say with confidence that trying to be the conductor who orchestrates lives to bring out everyone’s happiness is usually at my own expense. My song not being heard makes for an unbalanced symphony of life.
We are not alone with our instrument of life and when we share together in support it is a comforting melody.
People in support groups can be your band to help you find the music of inner peace and happiness.
You do not need to be one of the fab four to ask for help.