When you want to make an impact on people’s lives, it can be hard to say “no” when asked to help. But what if providing that help will end up hurting you? In this episode Indrani, Amy, and Jeremie share three tools you can use to say “no” to your supervisor, without feeling guilty, when asked to do something you don’t feel comfortable doing.
00:00 Introduction 01:02 Scenario 01:50 Amy – “I want to be perceived as…” 06:04 Discussion about the “I want to be perceived as…” tool. 08:06 Jeremie – Delivering a “Yes. No. Yes?” 12:41 Discussion of the “Yes. No. Yes?” tool. 16:50 Indrani – Self-care: Press pause and think about your answer. 20:50 Discussion of the “Press pause and think about your answer” tool. 28:10 Conclusion
Use your breath as a power tool….it’s free and it’s yours to use as you need.
I was wandering around Manhattan the other day and I was window shopping.
Suddenly I felt myself drawn to a store and wandered inside.
I began to look at some of the merchandise and struck up a conversation with the owner of the shop.
He limped over to his desk and I said, “What did you do to your leg?”
He limped back over to me and told me the story.
Here is the short version…
He was hit on the street by a car and it’s a neighbor and he is going to court in a few days to establish liability so he can file a damage suit.
He then began to rile himself up about how his wife really botched the deposition and he wanted to kill her for saying stupid things and I said “STOP.”
I began to ask questions about his trial and allowed him to blow off some steam.
I then asked, “Do you want me to help you to stay calm tomorrow on the stand?”
He said, “YES!”
The first thing I said was this, “I need you to keep angry thoughts about your wife OUT of your mind. What’s done is done. I need you to keep thinking good thoughts about her. I also need for you to stop thinking words like “crucify ” and “I’m done in” etc. When you are in court, use your breath to provide space between your responses. Do not spit out your answers like a dog who is panting. Take your time. If the judge says to hurry up, say you want to respond responsibly and truthfully.”
I do not know if he will take my advice but here’s what I do know. He may not have lambasted his wife as he was getting ready. He may hear my words in his head. I may have averted some very awful verbal abuse in their household when he went home.
Can I be sure?
Never. There is never an “I am sure.”
This is what I can be sure about. My mission is always present. I am always looking for an opportunity to guide. I was lead into that store and lead to that owner and I did what I do naturally.
When we are on mission, we are ALWAYS on mission.
Don’t leave your mission at home the next time you venture out. Take it with you.
Love & light,
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