Here at ILF, we are sending some major love and light to women all around the world.
“Let us each make ONE small commitment today to begin to live in our truth, not in our limitations. To live from expansive and glorious energy, not diminutive and restrictive energy. To make strides towards a new and magnificent goal, not just away from a lesser one.” -Indrani Goradia
Be kind to yourself. Be kind to others. Let us lift each other up. Not just today, but everyday.
How are you celebrating today? Leave a comment below…we would love to hear from you!
“If we can see our way through the uncertainty of feeling lost, unexpected callings often present themselves. One stirring example is the story of Lorraine Hunt Lieberson, (1954-2006), who began her carrier as an accomplished Viola player. While on tour in Europe, her viola was stolen. Though she could have replaced it, the theft threw her into a state of feeling lost and uncertain. She stopped playing for a while and then began to work with the only instrument she had left, her voice. Though she had sung before, she devoted herself to the instrument within her, and in two years, became the luminous mezzo-soprano she was meant to be. “
This was taken from the book Seven Thousand ways to Listen by Mark Nepo.
Can you imagine what her parents told her when she refused to replace the viola?
Do you imagine they said, “Oh well honey, just SING!”
I think they probably said the opposite.
If you have ever had a child who has given up a sport or an activity that you thought they were good at and said something to them, it was most likely something negative.
I believe that it’s a Neil Diamond song that has lyrics that say, “and being lost feels like coming home.”
Yes, BUT only if we surrender to the LOSTness of feeling loss and feeling lost.
When this happens, we cannot command the stars or the planets to make things the way they were.
A parent who loses a child cannot imagine a world without them. Yet, they often have other children who love and need them and have to find a new path to future joy.
Only time can show the way to weave life and light into the numbing darkness.
It is the acceptance of the dark time, however, and the ability to stay present with our emotions and not push them away that makes room for light when the time is right.
We cannot “will” the time to be right.
Over the course of our life, we all experience loss. This is a fact of life…loss happens and will continue to happen.
We can probably count the things we have lost and can still feel the pangs of pain.
We are less adept at counting out the things we have found.
We are woefully inadequate at sustaining the buoyant feelings of joy at the levels we can sustain the pangs of pain.
Brene Brown tells us that rehearsing for tragedy does not make us any more able to handle it when it arrives… and arrive it will.
It is the nature of all things.
The only thing that can help us with deep loss are the overwhelming joy stores we build up while we can.
This simply means that we must try to squeeze the joy out of all situations, whenever we can.
We cannot allow joy to be lost to the ether because we are too scared to feel it.
Feeling joy is not something we are taught to do. We are also hard wired to look for the “lions and tigers and bears” so we can run away and live another day.
We often react as if we live in the same fearful jungle that our forefathers lived in.
Our jungles are now often just in our heads and we create many of the lions and tigers and bears.
As we dive into this New Year, I encourage you to make a list of THINGS YOU FOUND that made you joyful.
If you keep a gratitude journal, go back through the entries and make your list. Perhaps you want to share some of the memories with your family and friends. Why not have a Joy-fest! Kind of like the opposite of a pity party.
Take time out to celebrate the things well won and well earned.
Happy memory trails to you, until we meet again.
Love and light,
At first glance, this title seems simple enough.
Of course you can understand a joke. You crack up at Last Comic Standing and you get satire and you can deliver a nice zinger whenever you wish.
Or do you?
I just finished Priscilla Gilman’s The Anti-Romantic Child, and I have come to appreciate the gift of this nuance called joking.
Priscilla comes to find out that her first born son has hyperlexia.
She realizes that his grasp of language nuance may be compromised. At this same time she is a Professor of English Literature at Yale.
Her two lives, Mom of Benj and Professor Gilman allow her to understand with painful clarity what we all take for granted.
“There are so many fundamental and important things that we have and take for granted- the ability to converse, to joke, to
decipher body language, to advocate for ourselves….the ability to have meaningful exchange with another person. We are so lucky!”
After reading this paragraph, I had to stop and reflect on the wisdom in those words.
I have NEVER been grateful for my language skills.
I never considered it anything special that I have quick wit and can understand satire, jokes and sense when someone might be lying. Heck, understanding that I even have the ability to lie is quite evolved. I take all language gifts for granted.
It broke my heart when Priscilla talks about all the challenges that Benj has like the ability to use the first pronoun, I and to call someone by their name is a skill. It means the brain is wired in a way that allows these things to happen seamlessly.
I look at my children and deeply appreciate so much more of all that they are.
I feel the fear that Priscilla Gilman has for the future challenges that Benj will face.
Her strength and fierce love of Benj is palpable, and when she said that she realized LOVE is the best medicine, I had to jump up and cheer.
How many of us take for granted all the little miracles that occur in our lives every minute of every day.
I invite you to take off the lens of ” yea yea, gratitude is great but” and SEE all that is within the things that we love.
Can we accept the people in our lives with all their short comings and still be courageous enough to simply love them.
Can we love ourselves for all that we are and not look first at the faults?
I am grateful to Priscilla Gilman for having the courage to lay bare the sweetness of all that she has learned.
I want a sequel, please. I am invested in Benj. I am invested in you and in me.
Thank you for turning on a light that I did not know was out.
What can you celebrate today about your own self that you did not celebrate yesterday?
Love and light
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