Tag Archives: college campus sexual abuse

50 Shades of Abuse……..

downloadThe Fifty Shades of Grey movie, which hits movie theaters on Valentine’s Day, is causing a bit of stir as some people say it glamourizes stalking and abusive behavior.

Check out this article from The Huffington Post about #50DollarsNot50Shades, a grassroots effort dissuading people from buying tickets to the movie and encouraging them to donate to a women’s shelter instead.

No matter what your stance is on the content of this book and movie, donating to your local Domestic Violence Shelter or Agency is always a good idea in our book. 

Hollywood doesn’t need your money; abused women do.” The #50DollarsNot50Shades Campaign




Love & light,

Team ILF

What an apology letter from a rapist might look like……

A Letter from the boys of a University of Virginia Frat House

920x920(This “letter of apology” is based on a recent article from Rolling Stone Magazine that you can read here.)

To the victims…err…women…of University of Virginia,

It has recently come to our attention that being lured up to a room, thrown through a glass table, punched, and sexually assaulted by 7 of our frat brothers is not a preferred sexual experience for women. We are shocked and feel great sadness that what we called “a great Friday night” was so harmful to others.

We will also, in light of this information, stop referring to women as “it”. We now realize that may not be respectful or appropriate. It…we mean a woman, is a person too.

We, the boys of Phi Kappa Psi would like to apologize for our treatment of you, and beg forgiveness. Although we are all well-educated, intelligent men, we have suffered from confusion over how to properly treat women, and believed, in good faith, that our actions were acceptable.

After all, we were simply following suggested practices from the University fight song “Rugby Road”.

How were we supposed to know that:

  • Women do not prefer to be drunk and taken advantage of (“fill you full of beer. And soon you’ll be the mother of a bastard Cavalier!”)
  • Not all women like to perform certain sexual acts (“Are the ones who stay up late at night, and take it in the rear”)
  • Not all women prefer multiple partners (“And you never know how many men they’ll bring home every night”)
  • That women do not prefer to be seen as nothing more than “twat” (“She’s a helluva twat from Agnes Scott”) or that women don’t want to get get paid for sex (“she’ll f*** for 50 cents”)

We admit, we have heard some of these complaints previously, however it was always explained to us that women being upset by our actions were just “looking for attention” and that they were not leaving school because of these bad experiences, they were just moving on to other opportunities.

Even our own school, which runs a Sexual Misconduct Board, ensured us our actions were not that big of a deal, helping most of our victims realize that they had just had a “bad experience” and should continue on without pointing fingers and giving the school, or the frat houses, a bad name.

Amidst all of this guidance what were we supposed to do? In retrospect perhaps we should have reflected on our morals and values and realized that we were in the wrong, but to be honest, we were drunk, just didn’t give a shit, and were having a good time.

We are sorry you were not having a good time with us and promise to change our ways.

The Frat Boys

(You can read the full article this “letter” is based on here: http://www.rollingstone.com/culture/features/a-rape-on-campus-20141119?page=4)

How long should one girl have to carry the weight of rape?

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enhanced-4298-1409708626-1This college student has vowed to carry a mattress to class every day until her alleged rapist leaves campus.

Emma Sulkowicz states, “The idea of me carrying a mattress sort of stuck in my head. I guess I decided to unpack why I was so fascinated with that idea. I was raped in my own dorm bed, so I think the idea of carrying the mattress represented, in my mind, carrying the weight of the memories that I have of that night and carrying the weight of how the school dismissed not only me but the other two women who reported against him, and the way the police harassed me when I reported my case.”
If we were on campus, we would help her carry the weight of that mattress. 

Read Emma’s full story here.


Love & light,

Team ILF

What’s really happening on college campuses….

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According to The Sexual Victimization of College Women- National Institute of Justice, Bureau of Justice Statistics:

  • It is estimated that the percentage of completed or attempted rape victimization among women in higher educational institutions may be between 20% and 25% over the course of a college career.
  • Among college women, 9 in 10 victims of rape and sexual assault knew their offender.
  • Almost 12.8% of completed rapes, 35% of attempted rapes, and 22.9% of threatened rapes happened during a date.
  • It is estimated that for every 1,000 women attending a college or university, there are 35 incidents of rape each academic year.

Please share this take on Sexual Violence by The Daily Show: