Tag Archives: domestic violence

The Sewing Machine Worked Just Fine… Until It Didn’t

The other day I was preparing some small quilts to take with me to India for a program I planned to visit. The quilt squares had been decorated by children of the mothers who had been burned by fire or acid. I had met these kids years before and never got a chance to finish up the quilts. I was going to India in a few days so I was inspired to finish them. This work reflected all my hearts passions: meeting the survivors, speaking to the kids, remembering to bring them fabric swatches, saving the swatches for the right time to finish it and of course sitting at my beautiful machine and finishing the project.

All of a sudden, the machine would not work. The needle would not stay threaded.The bottom thread would not catch. I rethreaded it about 6 times and then I yelled, to no one really, “what the F is wrong with this machine?”

I began to hyper focus on the threading mechanism and tried to use a pen to poke the thread into one of the moving parts and of course it could not work. I had never threaded the machine with a damn pen before. Why was I trying to do that now? I have been sewing for 50 years. I used to make my own Catholic School uniform skirts. I KNOW how to thread a sewing machine.

Then a heard a voice in my head say “Indrani zoom out, close your eyes, and use muscle memory to do this. Nothing is wrong with you or the machine.”

So.

I closed my eyes. I allowed my hands to float up to the machine and I held the thread a loft. I mimicked threading motions and saw that my left hand floated behind the presser foot to check if it was in the down position.

I opened my eyes.

I smiled.

The presser foot was NOT in the proper position.
I put the foot down and threaded the machine and finished the quilts.

Then, it dawned on me that this episode mimics what women do to themselves. We KNOW how to be in the world. We know how to be brave and courageous and yet, when we forget a simple thing (like lowering the presser foot) we begin to judge ourselves and we accept the judgment of others. I love that it was the “putting down of the foot” that brought me out of my trance of feeling inadequate and stupid for not successfully completing a task I have done 1000’s of times for 50 years. How can you use this in your life?

The next time you KNOW deep in your heart how to do something, or WHO you are at your core, put your foot down on the knowledge and do not allow any one (even your judgmental self) to convince you otherwise. If others in your life say unkind things, let if go in one ear and out the next. Put your foot down and don’t let others define you with their words. Maybe use a simple phrase like “I am not sure whom you are describing, but that’s not me.”

Believe the words. You know you!

Now, go be the full YOU. The world needs all of you.

Love and Light from Indrani

Managing Fear When Facing Adversity- Episode #27

In this episode Indrani and Dr. Anita Sands share their experiences and the tools they’ve used to manage fear with the adversities they’ve faced. Anita also shares her story of coping with changes in her professional life after becoming a mother.

Episode Time Codes

00:09 Introduction
02:00 Welcome and Introduction of Dr. Sands
5:15 Article Discussion
14:45 Asking for Help
21:15 Advice on Priorities
23:30 How Fear Shows Up
34:00  From Scarcity to Abundance
37:00 Curiosity trumps Comparison
43:38  Wrap Up
46:09 Outtro

Resources

Link to Dr. Sands Article 

Caring for the Caregivers: A Self-Empathy Meditation – Episode #26

Often, in life, you will find yourself stuck between two versions of yourself: the “you” that wants peace and to be satisfied doing the best you can, and the “you” that is crazily trying to do everything for everyone. In this episode Indrani will lead you through a short meditation to help you become a compassionate witness to your own self and your own energy.

00:00 Introduction
00:53 Self-Empathy Meditation
04:21 Outro

Caring for the Caregivers: Talk to the Positive Part of Yourself – Episode #25

When you are feeling sad, do you forget about your whole self, focusing only on the sadness? In this episode Indrani will guide you through a meditation to connect with, and embrace, the positive you. It isn’t about changing the sadness, it is about honoring all parts of yourself, and living a whole, and healthy, life.

Episode Time Codes

00:00 Introduction
00:57 Guided Meditation
08:04 Outro

Caring for the Caregivers: When Family and Work Values Collide – Episode #24

Making a decision between your family and your work is never an easy task, especially when, which is more important changes with the circumstances. How can you determine when being with your family is most important? When going to work and supporting your clients is most important? In this episode Indrani, Amy, and Jeremie discuss tools you can use to make important decisions between your family and your work.

Episode Time Codes

00:00 Introduction
01:20 Scenario
02:12 Jeremie – Accommodate, Avoid, Attack – How we say NO without saying NO
09:25 Discussion
17:00 Indrani – Your unreasonable “perfect should list”
23:10 Discussion
25:50 Amy – Contradictions between your different roles leading to shame
30:38 Discussion
39:00 Conclusion
40:36 Outro

Caring for the Caregivers: A Story and Meditation – What Does Change Mean to You? – Episode #23

You may want to get your journal out and take some notes as Indrani asks some important questions in this episode. Are you thinking about making a change in your life? What feelings come up for you during the change process? What does change mean to you?

Episode Time Codes

00:00 Introduction
01:49 What do you feel when undergoing change? What is change necessary?
03:35 When change needs to be birthed
05:26 Using your energy to fight back against change
07:59 Ask others about the change they see in you
10:25 Understand that change is a constant
13:00 Writing exercise – Change means…
15:20 Outro

Caring for the Caregivers: Remember Who You Are – Episode #22

Indrani shares a story about a hair salon trip gone wrong, then shares how she used the Live a Brighter Life tools. Listen to the story and the discussion with Amy and Jeremie about the story to learn how you can use boundaries to stay grounded in your own truth, trust your own experiences, and remember who you are. If you don’t know your own truth, and practice it every day, people WILL cross your boundaries.

Episode Time Codes

00:00 Introduction
02:29 Indrani tells the “Oil Head Massage” Story
09:26 Discussion about the story
11:36 Indrani shares her thoughts and lessons about the story
18:30 How to set boundaries around your truth
22:30 Journaling as a practical tool for keeping centered and knowing your truth
28:45 Using visualizations to help set boundaries
34:20 Conclusion
36:18 Outro

Caring for the Caregivers: A Story – How to Say “NO” With the Feeling of Joy – Episode #21

This episode Indrani shares a personal story about problems with a “non-huggable” coat, being surprised by the perfect dress, and how saying “NO” to the little things and setting small boundaries is the key to making big changes to your relationships. Indrani also shares an awareness exercise you can use to observe your own boundaries and where you need to be saying “NO” in your daily life.

Episode Time Codes

00:00 Introduction
00:46 Indrani tells her story
06:29 Indrani shares lessons from the story
08:01 Indrani shares an awareness exercise
09:18 Summary
10:43 Outro

Caring for the Caregivers: A Discussion About “Option B” by Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant – Episode #20 Part Two

Sheryl Sandberg wrote this book after husband died suddenly. The book explores how Sheryl and her children recover and rebound from the horrible event while building their reslience, finding greater meaning, and gaining a greater appreciation for their lives. This is part two of a longer discussion where Indrani, Amy, Stacie, and Jeremie share their takeaways from reading the book and how you can apply Sheryl’s lessons to the daily challenges you are experiencing at work and in your personal life.

Episode Time Codes

00:00 Introduction
00:57 Jeremie – Building resilience together
07:45 Discussion
09:52 Amy – Adding a bit of humour
15:03 Discussion
19:30 Conclusion
21:13 Outro

Links and Resources mentioned in this episode

BOOK: Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy

LINK: VIA Strengths Survey

Caring for the Caregivers: A Discussion About “Option B” by Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant – Episode #20 Part One

Sheryl Sandberg wrote this book after husband died suddenly. The book explores how Sheryl and her children recover and rebound from the horrible event while building their reslience, finding greater meaning, and gaining a greater appreciation for their lives. In this episode Indrani, Amy, Stacie, and Jeremie share their takeaways from reading the book and how you can apply Sheryl’s lessons to the daily challenges you are experiencing at work and in your personal life.

Episode Time Codes

00:00 Introduction
00:50 Scenario
03:02 Indrani – Let’s kick the sh*t out of Option B
09:50 Discussion
15:53 Stacie – Kicking the elephant out of the room
17:15 Discussion
22:38 Outro

Links and Resources mentioned in this episode

BOOK: Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy