What happens to ME when I get sick from doing too much for YOU?
What happens to YOU when I can no longer hold you in my heart with love and respect because I am tired of your pain?
What happens to MY PAIN when I cannot find a way to see through your pain and into your soul?
What happens to all of us when we begin to shut down our hearts and rely on formulaic “fixes”?
These are very important questions if you are in the healing worlds of:
You must have a place to go that is safe…a place where you will NOT be judged for being tired of caring or care taking.
A place where it’s okay to say “I am tired, I am sick AND tired.”
You are human. Humans get tired.
Fatigue does not last forever. When you are fatigued you need rest. You need physical rest, mental rest and emotional rest.
Allowing yourself to rest will give you a chance to be clear. Clarity is one of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself.
Here are a few things that may help on a weekly or monthly basis:
A massage- There are many massage schools that charge very little so their students can practice.
A support group- find one where members have issues in common with yours. You will see that you are not alone. If you have an addiction, then try a 12 step group.
Read this blog by Kay Walten to see how much healing she is receiving from the 12 step group she stumbled into.
A yoga or meditation class- Many studios offer scholarship money for needy students. Ask and you probably will receive.
Plan a Gratitude party for your friends- Tell them who is coming and ask them to write an anonymous note to each person and focus on that person’s greatness. Ask each person to bring a small dish to share. Do not overindulge in alcohol, it dulls the senses.
Beware of compassion fatigue. It makes the sanest among us crazy…and when the brain is crazy you are not your best self.
I once took a philosophy class in college and the teacher asked us to define happiness.
I remember saying that it was an illusion and that people who said they were happy were liars. I also said that if people can find a little happiness, it would be fleeting and can never last.
Fast forward 30 years and I have completely and irrevocably changed my mind. As a matter of fact, it feels more like I have healed my mind and in the process healed my spirit.
Over the past few years I have been steeping myself in the study of and the living of Joy. Last year, I even went as far as to do a virtual joy event called Unpasteurized Joy. It was a series of conversations with many different folk from the very famous, like Dr Patch Adams, to the absolutely non-famous, like yours truly. I asked every person to speak of joy and how their work contributes to joy in our world.
Focusing so intently on joy over that past few years has allowed me to stay focused on the good in my life, even as challenges continue to flow in and through, and I am able to keep negativity at bay.
Recently, I heard from a colleague of mine who had surgery and she told me that while she was in recovery she listened to all 26 joy recordings. She said that it really helped her. Thanks Catherine, for sharing this lovely bit of information. It warmed my heart.
My challenge to you is to keep upping your JOY Q by finding the joy all around and by speaking joy as often as you can.
What are some ways that you can increase your JOY Q?
1. Stay focused on the positive aspects of your own wonderful self.
Sign up at www.indranislight.org for a tool called Five minutes to
Happiness for a way to get to your finest values.
2. Take time each day for using your eyes to see the beauty in all those who you
meet. Look for something that you can admire in each person.
3. Find the courage to forgive someone. One of my dear friends found
her courage this weekend to forgive someone who really hurt her a few
years ago. The very next day, the woman she forgave gave her some
wonderful compliments on face book.
4. Write a letter to yourself and forgive yourself for any grievance
that you feel you have committed.
5. Spend a few moments in nature everyday to notice how much intricate beauty
Up your JOY Q.
We must if we want to save our world.
Love and light,
Donate to Indrani’s Light Foundation
Your donation will be used towards eradicating gender violence, training community leaders and sharing behaviour-change tools with people who are ready to leave violence behind and create a brighter, more peaceful world.