As a Caregiver in a domestic violence shelter you are faced with the challenge of supporting all of your clients at work, then having to return home and take care of your family. In this episode Indrani, Amy, and Jeremie share the importance of taking care of yourself FIRST by setting boundaries and learning to tell your family a “positive NO”.
01:03 Introduction of this episode’s scenario 02:56 Jeremie shares a self-awareness exercise called “Going to the movies” 06:35 Amy discusses the four types of boundaries 14:10 Indrani explains how to deliver a Positive No 20:40 Discussion: you are always setting and breaking boundaries. 25:55 Discussion: supporting others in your life with setting boundaries 29:15 Summary of the three tools
Building and maintaining positive relationships in your life, while working long hours at work and then taking care of family at home, is a huge challenge. In this episode learn the six tools (plus one bonus tool) that Indrani, Amy, and Jeremie use everyday with the important people in their lives.
01:00 Introduction 02:35 Indrani shares the definition of a boundary and how to use this definition with people in your life. 05:40 Amy shares how to use empathy when listening. 09:48 Jeremie shares how to use 10 minute breaks to change roles in your life and be more present. 16:25 Indrani discusses how to identify when you are being triggered. 21:40 Amy explains the difference between being self-FULL and being selfish 26:47 Bonus tool: “What story am I making up about this?” 28:00 Jeremie asks the question: “Is what I am about to say or do going to improve this relationship?” 31:10 Summary of all six tools and the bonus tool
The dictionary defines flourish as: to be in a vigorous state, to thrive. To be in its or in one’s prime; be at the height of fame, excellence, influence, etc. To be successful; prosper.
According to Felicia Huppert, director of the University of Cambridge Well-Being Institute, flourish means “having high positive emotion, plus being high on any three of the following: self-esteem, optimism, resilience, vitality, self-determination and positive relationships.”
When I close my eyes and think of the times that I have felt like I was flourishing in my life…I see those times when I had goals and was driven toward them. This does not mean that there were not challenges or obstacles that tried to trip me up. I remember significant challenges that at times, kept me paralyzed. I often felt like I was sinking and had no one to support me.
It was the continual goal setting that enabled me to move, creep ahead and slowly arrive at a better frame of mind.
A few days ago someone asked me how people get strong enough to handle emotional upheaval. I admitted that I had no magical answer except that it is a little like deciding to sink or swim. By this, I mean it’s a matter of emotional life or emotional death.
Sometimes giving up in the short run allows you to save what physical energy you do have and wait for a better time to invest it.
Emotional upheaval is never comfortable. You can learn, however, how to get increasingly more comfortable in your discomfort.
Being able to accept reality without wanting “magical” solutions is par for the course.
Practice makes you better. There is no perfection in the game of life.
Giving up in the moment does not have to mean giving in to whatever happens. It simply means retreating to refuel and recharge.
Be kind to yourself…you are worth it.
Love and light,
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Your donation will be used towards eradicating gender violence, training community leaders and sharing behaviour-change tools with people who are ready to leave violence behind and create a brighter, more peaceful world.