A few weeks ago I received an email from someone I barely knew regarding my classes in which she has never attended.
Her information came from some of those who had taken my class. These people had some sensitive nerves touched and decided their pain was my fault! The email was mean spirited and made accusations that were untrue.
What was I going to do?
Was I going to retaliate?
Was I going to react?
The first thing I had to do was control my mind chatter and control my emotions. I felt the tears stinging at the edges of my eyes and I blinked them back. After a while the tears did not need to show themselves. I got hold of my thoughts and I formed my next steps.
I decided that my steps would be based on my TRUTH.
My deepest truth about the work that I do is that IT IS NECESSARY! The pain of an abuse victim pales in comparison with the slight pain that I was feeling.
I asked myself, “Indrani, how far would you go to reach a woman who needed to hear what you have to say about resilience and courage?”
My answer was “as far as I need to.”
So how far would I go to reach the women that I had come to reach?
I replied to the email and decided that I would go as far as I could go without damage to myself.
What kind of damage? EMOTIONAL damage!
So I took that mean spirited email as a CASE study and I sent myself to NEGOTIATION school.
I had taken a class in negotiating a few months ago, so I began to apply the principles.
A negotiation is a two way street where everyone compromises and therefore wins.
So what did I want to WIN?
I wanted to win a chance to share something with the women.
What did this boss lady want to win? I had no idea!
I only had the email to guide me so I looked at what they were AFRAID of.
I charted what I read alongside what my true work was.
I very carefully began to craft my response and I held in my heart the women who would be in my class.
I did the class that afternoon for 2.5 hours and returned the next day for 3.5 hours. The women that took part asked me to stay longer. They even called the boss lady to ask and she said NO. She said that “they were not ready”.
How did she know?
I have no idea!
They felt sad and I left.
I felt like both she and I won.
I won the respect of the women and she won the time frame constraints.
As I write this I am resting in my hotel room, looking at THE VOW.
It seems like a great title because it lines up with the VOW I made to myself to honor my truth.
Love, light & truth,
Allow me to refresh your memory of how
Ulysses saved himself from the sirens.
He made his men lash him to the mast of the ship and plug their own ears with wax so that they would not fall prey to the sirens or follow his pleas and demands to be untied and ultimately die.
He saved himself and he saved his men.
The siren’s song was legendary.
Men who became bewitched by the sirens singing steered their ships upon rocks and perished. Ulysses knew what was waiting. He knew that he had no choice but to take that route.
So, instead of “hoping” for the best, he made a plan.
His plan was a two part plan.
Why two parts?
He KNEW himself. He knew that even though he was lashed to the mast he would have screamed and shouted demands at his men until they untied him…and how dare they disobey the “King of Ithaca”?
What can we modern folk learn from this ancient warrior?
Are these lessons even applicable today?
YES, the lessons are still very applicable.
Do you have any cravings?
Do you have any addictions?
Do you “invest” money while watching home shopping network?
Have you ever been caught by an infomercial?
Do you eat unhealthy foods?
Any of the above can be a situation under which you could make a Ulysses contract with yourself.
If you eat the cheesecake…you will do extra time on the treadmill.
If you spend too much on HSN…you will NOT watch the channel for one week or one month.
Be aware that the second part of the contract requires that you make someone a part of the plan so that you ensure success.
Take a look at the events in your life that occur frequently and ask yourself what sort of plan you can put in place to make better decisions and have happier outcomes.
There is a country western song with these lyrics “tequila makes her clothes fall off”.
In this case she needs to wear a body suit that is mighty hard to take off if she wants to still drink tequila.
Cute undies just may not be enough 🙂
What are your challenges? What’s your tequila?
Love and light