You put a lot of passion, love, and effort into supporting your clients at work, and your family at home. It can be challenging (and very emotional) when the people you are helping don’t say “thank you” or show any gratitude for the support and energy you give them. In this episode Indrani, Amy, and Jeremie share three more tools (in addition to the tools shared in Episode #5) you can use to change your perspective when someone doesn’t show you appreciation.
01:08 Introduction 02:33 Scenario 03:15 Indrani – Bring self-compassion into the formula 06:36 Discussion about self-compassion 14:55 Amy – Practice Critical Awareness 20:46 Discussion about using Critical Awareness 25:48 Jeremie – Find an “Appreciation Buddy” 28:13 Jeremie – Think about a “Future State” 30:24 Conclusion
You put a lot of passion, love, and effort into supporting your clients at work, and your family at home. It can be challenging (and very emotional) when the people you are helping don’t say “thank you” or show any gratitude for the support and energy you give them. In this episode learn three tools you can use to change your perspective when someone doesn’t show you appreciation.
00:58 Introduction 02:42 Scenario 03:32 Indrani – Use the “Going to the Movies Tool” to reflect on your actions and reactions when someone shows no gratitude. 08:08 Discussion of the “Going to the Movies Tool” 12:00 Amy – Use the “How do you want to be perceived” exercise to identify your triggers in this situation. 16:46 Discussion of the “How do you want to be perceived” exercise. 21:54 Jeremie – Use PERMA to focus on your side of the relationship and don’t depend on the other person showing gratitude. 27:30 Discussion of the PERMA tool 31:00 Conclusion and summary of the three tools
Building and maintaining positive relationships in your life, while working long hours at work and then taking care of family at home, is a huge challenge. In this episode learn the six tools (plus one bonus tool) that Indrani, Amy, and Jeremie use everyday with the important people in their lives.
01:00 Introduction 02:35 Indrani shares the definition of a boundary and how to use this definition with people in your life. 05:40 Amy shares how to use empathy when listening. 09:48 Jeremie shares how to use 10 minute breaks to change roles in your life and be more present. 16:25 Indrani discusses how to identify when you are being triggered. 21:40 Amy explains the difference between being self-FULL and being selfish 26:47 Bonus tool: “What story am I making up about this?” 28:00 Jeremie asks the question: “Is what I am about to say or do going to improve this relationship?” 31:10 Summary of all six tools and the bonus tool
As you listen to the “Caring for the Caregivers Podcast” you might be wondering: What is Indrani’s Light Foundation? Exactly who are Indrani, Amy, and Jeremie? Why are they creating this podcast? You can find the answer to all of these questions and more in Episode 0!
01:45 Who is Indrani? Why is this work important to Indrani?
03:55 Who is Amy? Why is this work important to Amy?
06:30 Who is Jeremie? Why is this work important to Jeremie?
08:40 Indrani’s Light Foundation Mission Statement and history
12:15 The Caregiver Project
15:55 The Caregiver Podcast
20:50 Final thoughts
Written by Amy Dier – Director of Education & Training | Indrani’s Light Foundation
Indrani recently wrote a blog about the phrase that many of us use too often ….. “Same ol’ same ol’, nothing ever changes!” When I was in law enforcement for 20 years, this was a very common statement I heard over and over again. I worked with many government agency employees, and many were my friends. They, too, used this phrase to describe their discord, and lack of enthusiasm around their jobs.
Now that I’m the Director of Education and Training for Indrani’s Light Foundation, I have been given an opportunity to lead our Caregiver Project, where we reach out and train the staff, volunteers, and administrators of women’s shelters and organizations. These are the “Caregivers” who work with the women and children who are in need of shelter, counseling, medical and psychological help. Many of these caregivers are burning out, and quitting their jobs at the shelters because of the every day stress of working in this kind of environment. Not only is it emotionally hard to work with the women and children, it can also be stressful to work at a shelter with internal personnel issues, which is commonplace.
When I reach out to the shelter caregivers and ask them their biggest source of stress, they tell me when changes are made to improve their work environment, it only lasts for a little while, and then everything goes back to the “same ol’ same ol’.” There are feelings of abandonment, or lack of trust. There are shelter administrators who are under an incredible amount of stress to keep their shelter open based on funding, and not be able to pay their staff what they really deserve.
So Indrani wants our training and follow up calls to the caregivers to include a way to challenge the staff to change the language of “same ol’ same ol’.
So here is what Indrani wants the caregivers to do:
“If you are in a work environment and you feel and think that nothing ever changes, I challenge you to live with your values and have the courage to be the one to change in any given situation. The next time you hear someone say, “Same ol’ same ol’, do the opposite of roll your eyes. Be curious and say, “What do you mean?” Try to engage the negative person to see if you can change the energy in the situation. Do not succumb to the negative, step away when you feel like you are losing your own positivity. You take control of YOU, and take YOU out of the negative equation. Give it s try and see if same old same old can become same situation different me!” Click here to read the full blog
If you are a caregiver, or a leader of caregivers, or work in an environment where it seems as though nothing ever changes, we challenge you to be brave, step up your game, and take control of YOU! Step away from the negative and BE the change.
If this blog resonates with you, please comment below. We’d love to know if this has encouraged you to make a difference at your workplace, and BE the change. If you’d like to know more about our Caregiver Project, click HERE.
Your donation will be used towards eradicating gender violence, training community leaders and sharing behaviour-change tools with people who are ready to leave violence behind and create a brighter, more peaceful world.