Rather it is a very shallow pool of very cold water…. Means you are in discomfort for only a short while. If you stay with the feeling of being vulnerable long enough, your body temp begins to warm up your surroundings. Pretty soon you are back to your normal level of courage BUT you have grown from the challenge, instead of pushing the feeling away and always living under the thought
“OH NO what if this happens again, what will I do?”
If it happens again, you will know what to do because you did not run from the lesson the last time around.
Let me give you an example:
Let’s say someone asks you a question about an element of your work or expertise and you do not know the answer.
You can BS your way thru and you can make up some good theory and say “PHEW that’s over ”
You can say…
” Let me get back to you about this because I do not have that answer at the tip of my fingers…” and show that even YOU an expert in your field can admit to not have all the answers.
If I choose the BS route and avoid the vulnerable feeling THEN I have to remember exactly what BS I used the next time this same thing comes up or I run the risk of not only being vulnerable but being inauthentic and flaky.
Showing vulnerability in one area does not make you devoid of smarts in all other areas. If you have thoughts like, what if I admit to not knowing, will they think I am ignorant in all other areas? They will not UNLESS you first broadcast that kind of energy.
Nothing erodes self confidence quicker than inauthenticity.
How would you take one step into your vulnerability?
You really have to KNOW what vulnerability feels like to you.
Where in your body do you feel the stirrings or the bashing over the head of vulnerability?
Being aware of what your body does in the midst of feeling vulnerable is the very first step towards making vulnerability your friend.
You have to become aware of your own self and your own reactions.This takes a little time to do some SELF research.
S…specificity…with the feelings awhile. Take notes about the feelings, keep a vulnerability journal, but write in it as a court reporter would, be a CSI of your own body.
E…examine…what your body is doing. As you journal, be very specific with all the physical feelings that you are experiencing and try not to judge them. Try not to call any of the feelings STUPID or try not to say “I Should Know Better”.
L…letting the feelings be investigated with real curiosity. Bring infinite curiosity to your physical feelings. Unpack them as eagerly and as slowly as you would open a gift from Tiffanys.
F…firm up your resolve to NOT run away from the moment. Just like you would not think of throwing that lovely piece of jewelry from Tiffanys into the discard pile, do not discard the intense level of KNOWING that you are feeling.
Then stand in your authentic vulnerability instead of the inauthenticity of feeling invulnerable to the trials and tribulations of this very human existence.
If you can befriend vulnerability, the world is your oyster and the pearls are the incidents that you used to stump your toe upon.