crazytownmayor.com

What do you get if you crossed, Paula Deen, Martha Stewart and June Cleaver… a migraine for all us mere mortal women!

I was recently strolling thru an airport and came upon a bookstore. So of course I wasted a nice chunk of change on magazines.

They were all Christmas magazines and each had copious tips for me as to how to create that ever so special holiday.

I began to make a list and it was appalling how many things I HAD to do to make my family, friends and the community at large happy.

The list is far too long so I will just give you some highlights…

•  Make cookies from scratch, cut outs that must be iced and drop cookies, because as we all know people like variety!
• Do extra special community deeds, because as we all know, all the volunteer stuff we do is NOT enough to make us feel worthwhile.
• Put a special ornament on all the cabinet knobs, because we all know, every room must be festive.
• Make all your own floral arrangements and get only the freshest buds, because as we all know, people will know that I am a slouch if I buy them from the grocery store.
• Group glass containers together and place candles in them, because as we all know, electric lights are too harsh for the holidays.
• Write a special note in all my holiday cards, because as we all know, it is extremely tacky to just say “Happy Holidays”.
• Decorate the tree, preferable trees, in its own special theme, because as we all know, a hodge podge of ornaments from years of life well lived, just looks too damn dull.
• Have scents of cinnamon and oranges wafting all thru the house, because as we all know, our houses stink the whole rest of the year.
• Decorate every room with fresh sprigs (from our gardens) especially the guest rooms, because as we all know we want those pesky guests to feel so comfy, they’ll stay an extra month.

I can go on, but I have a lot to do in the next few weeks, as you can clearly see.

So I’ll be sure to start tomorrow because it’s too dark to get sprigs and such and I don’t have all the ingredients for the 13 kinds of cookies I intend to make.

Wait, I can’t start tomorrow… I have a massage scheduled and that tea I must go to, and oh yea I gotta go the work. Hmmm, ok the day after tomorrow then. Wait…