Category Archives: homepage

The importance of mentoring our young people.

featured, homepage, News & Updates, , , , , , , , , , ,

Portrait of Young Woman Holding Blank PlacardI recently attended a conference which was populated with amazing, young social entrepreneurs and people ready to make significant change in their world.

Young people concerned with food security for the most vulnerable on the planet, those concerned with helping adolescents with HIV Aids to live a full life and others still who were just looking for a cause.

Here is what I know for sure…

They all need a mentor, a guide who can listen to their thoughts, their visions and their big dreams.

I know this because I so desperately needed mentors through the various stages of my life.

I had great and supportive teachers in high school, in college and graduate school. Then I was in the work world and had no one to turn to for help with my career.

I did not even know what my skills were.

I had no idea what questions to ask or who to turn to for guidance.

As I was wrapping up my presentation from the stage at this conference I said, “I am 61 and I know what it’s like to be working in the dark. I know what it’s like to have a vision that no one else can understand and how easy it is to begin the toxic process of self doubt.”

I offered to be a mentor to those who needed one.

A few young women came up during the course of the weekend and asked me to mentor them and with each request my heart grew wider and warmer and I know what an honor it is to be the attentive ears for these future leaders.

My ask for you is to offer yourself to mentor others.

It does not matter how old or young you are, someone needs what you have.

When I was that small and beaten child in Trinidad, what I would have given to someone to have seen my pain and acknowledged it and given me some soft ears to speak my pain.

I know that it would have made my pain sting less.

Speak up.

Listen well.

Share your strengths.

 

Love & light,

Indrani

Men need to become better leaders…and as a man this is terrifying

featured, homepage, News & Updates, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I am sitting with a bunch of guys in a dressing room at the local hockey arena. Everyone is taking a break from a game of men’s floor hockey, drinking a few beers, and telling tall tales.

Then it begins…comments about the wives and women in our lives:

“I came home the other day and the house wasn’t even clean. What the hell is she doing all day while I am at work? Sitting around growing her ass or what”

“I told her I was coming here and it was blah blah blah, you never spend time with me. Of course I don’t, all you do is nag”

“Did you see that girl in the bar Thursday night….she had huge guns, they were amazing”

“I totally took her home, banged her, and showed her the door…”

And so it goes. Degenerating into inappropriate jokes and comments that no one in that room would say in public or outside of a room of a bunch of men drinking beer and kidding around.

Now, with my new realizations around Gender Based Violence, and the treatment of women, I need to stand up and say:

“Ummm….hey guys…this isn’t cool, you know. Aaaahhh…talking about your wives this way isn’t helping how your son sees women. That, ah.. that girl in the bar is someone’s daughter. Do you want someone talking about your daughter that way?”

Silence.

Dumbfounded silence mixed with shock, and looks of “who the hell invited this guy?”

 

Jackson Katz, in the Ted Talk below, clearly explains why focusing on women when talking about gender based violence is wrong, and why this focus needs to shift to men, and what men are doing (and not doing about it). He also clearly explains that men need to become leaders around this topic, and that the true battle will be won, not in public, when we are openly defending women, but within the small groups of men where so much of this harmful talk continues in a “safe zone”.

I hear what Jackson is saying, and it terrifies me. I want to be this leader. I want to make sure my son’s view of women is healthy. I want to protect all the daughters out there. I want to help eliminate violence against women.

Writing for Indrani’s Light Foundation – check.

Helping train others to help women in shelters – check.

Speaking out about gender based violence in social media – check.

Share the message with local schools and other people – check.

Stand up, in the moment, in a group of guys, and call them on their bullshit statements.

Gulp.

That one I NEED to work on, and it isn’t going to be easy.

But I am going to try.

If you are a man, or have men in your life who could use help developing this leadership, and taking this plunge, share Jackson Katz’s video and let’s get started.

Link: http://www.ted.com/talks/jackson_katz_violence_against_women_it_s_a_men_s_issue?language=en#t-284753

What would you do if you witnessed this incident?

featured, homepage, , , , , , , , , , ,

68985_683912108405178_2398408205258805764_nA young lady in her mid-twenties is being beaten black and blue by a strong, well-built man as 50+ people stand by and watch.

 

What would you do?

How would you react?

 

Visit the following link to read the entire story and let us know what you would do in the comments below if you found yourself in this awful situation.

https://www.facebook.com/indrani.goradia.5/posts/792430934181717?notif_t=mention

 

Love & light,
Team ILF

Heat stability, the power to thrive under pressure.

featured, homepage, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

kids-learn-to-be-abusers-300x169

I love having conversations with professionals in different fields of study. One such exchange was with a few chemical engineers, who were explaining to me about chemicals that are heat sensitive or heat stable.

This definition of chemical stability comes from Wikipedia: Chemical stability when used in the technical sense in chemistry, means thermodynamic stability of a chemical system.[1]

Thermodynamic stability occurs when a system is in its lowest energy state, or chemical equilibrium with its environment. This may be a dynamic equilibrium, where individual atoms or molecules change form, but their overall number in a particular form is conserved. This type of chemical thermodynamic equilibrium will persist indefinitely unless the system is changed. Chemical systems might include changes in the phase of matter or a set of chemical reactions.

The instances of abusers going completely crazy  and killing the individuals that they are blaming for the fury makes me think of chemicals that are NOT stable.

Abusers are NOT stable people. We never know when they will fly off in a rage, and decide that they must take drastic action and kill and maim people.

I am not an expert on what happens inside the body when people are in rage.

I am willing to guess that they feel like they MUST react and must react fast. They may feel like the other people are “winning” but if asked they probably cannot even verbalize what the game is that the other is winning!

How can we encourage abusers to learn to be heat stable?

How can we teach them that THEY are the only ones in control of their own behaviors?

How can we empower abusers who have not had any training in self management to be able to manage themselves?

We must start with YOUNG people. We must start in schools. We MUST at least START.

Here at Indranis Light, we have started. We have FREE classes.

Here is the link: http://www.liveabrighterlife.eventbrite.com/

Send the link to someone who is suffering from abuse.

Send the link to the young people in your life.

Send the link to women whom you suspect  are suffering and oppressed.

Do SOMETHING that will cost you nothing. Send the link.

If you are afraid that your friend may never again speak to you, take the chance anyway.

Take the chance. Do something. Send the link.

Here is the link again.

http://www.liveabrighterlife.eventbrite.com/

We are on iTunes. We are FREE on iTunes.

Please do something.

 
Love and light,
Indrani

A message from Indrani for International Women’s Day…..

featured, homepage, , , ,

Sunday, March 8th is International Women’s Day.

Click below to listen to a special message from our Founder, Indrani Goradia.

Click here to play video…

 

Untitled

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How will you celebrate women all over the world? Let us know in the comment section below!

Celebrating YOU!

 

Love & light,

Team ILF

 

Kids on Mindfulness…..Just Breathe

featured, homepage, News & Updates, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , , , , ,
We could all learn a thing or two from these kids.

 

Watch as they describe what happens when they start to feel angry and then what they do to control the emotion.

 

Our future is so bright. 

 

 

Love & light,

 

Team ILF

What to give up for lent….it’s not what you think.

featured, homepage, News & Updates, , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Mother-in-lawThe days between Ash Wednesday and Easter Sunday marks the Lenten season for Christians.

Many people “give up” something for lent. Many stop eating sweets or stop drinking or some other behavior modification.

Few people give up “being nasty” to others.

That maybe be too harsh a thing to say, but it needs to be said.

I recently met a woman whose son was getting married and she “asked” to go to the bridal dress shopping expedition. The future daughter in law was nice enough to take her along. When the bride found the perfect dress, she asked the mother in law what she thought and the response was… “It’s not to my liking.”

The bride went ballistic and shouted at the mother in law that it was NOT her wedding.

As I was listening to this story, I wondered why the mother in law was not giving up something other than sweets for lent.

She was so ferociously attacking the bride-to-be and calling her names to whom ever was listening, like “hoochie” that it was very hard to be sympathetic to her hurt feelings.

Personally, I know what the bride felt like. When I was getting married, none of the saris that I wanted were “good enough” for my future in laws.

Luckily, I was quite stubborn, and with the help of my future husband I got exactly what I wanted.

Parenting is hard at all ages and when kids are grown up enough to start their own families we all get to enter a new stage of parenting. This time we get to try to be nurturing to complete strangers whom our children have chosen.

We have to give up judgments of what they should or should not do.

We have to help the young people to sort through their own lives.

This is the only way forward into a new stage of non aggression with the new family member.

I wished this women would give up bad mouthing her future daughter-in-law for lent instead of cookies and candies.

I believe that I suggested she give up negative thinking instead of sweets and she said that it would be too difficult.

Is that not the idea for lent? To make a sacrifice that smarts a little?

So what have you given up for lent? Let us know in the comment section below.

Make the sacrifice count. Make the sacrifice make you a better person.
Love and light,
Indrani

Choosing to GROW or to SHRINK…..

featured, homepage, News & Updates, , , , , , , , , ,

BalanceRocksSea-e1366181562699-37055_639x375The week was a doozie for me personally.

I started out the week with some disappointments, then got some great news and then some greater news, then was able to witness the pain of another while holding space for them.

And all of a sudden I realized that through all the ups and downs I had lost my roots.

I allowed myself to get SWEPT away by whatever news was floating around me.

I forgot that I was in charge of MY emotional health.

It was quite a shock to me, because I have been more rooted than not these past few years.  Took my rooting for granted. I forgot that I had to continuously strengthen the roots for them to stay strong.

It is like lifting weights and when you stop, the muscles get lazy and you have to start all over again.

I forgot to devote more time to meditation and to yoga and to silence.

I have been ON for weeks in a row and forgot that I needed time away from everything.

I became intoxicated with the numbers on my pedometer and started to believe that the numbers mean more than numbers.

The result was that in a matter of a few weeks I was thrown from emotional pillar to crushing post and I have the bruises to show.

I realized that I was out of alignment.

This misalignment was not a spinal condition, it was a spiritual condition.

The only course of action was to STOP and BE in the moment.

I dug out one of my favorite spiritual reads, The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho.

I began to devote time to inner inquiry and intuitive push-ups.

I began to ALIGN myself with my values again.

I offer you the simple formula below to help you to remember how to regain Alignment.

ALIGN
A… Always
L…lean into your
I…intuitive
G…growth
N…NO to giving your power away.

You can begin to ask yourself what it means to give your power away.

You can give it away in many ways.

You can believe that other people must do certain things to make you happy.

They must have lunch or dinner with you.

They must call you every other day or ask you certain questions that show they really care.

If you can come up with a list of people who have affronted you and it brings up a lot of hurt then there is a good chance you have given some power away. They are still controlling your feelings. You must de tangle from their grasp.

When you are in alignment, you can feel hurt without having the hurt bring you to your emotional knees. You can separate from the event in question and begin to recapture all of you.

The pieces that felt hurt and wounded will begin to heal and bloom.

It may take a few moments to begin the process of healing, it is worth the time you will invest.

If you do not choose to heal, you choose to keep hurting.

Give this a try will you?

 

Love & light,

Indrani

It’s a Revolution……

featured, homepage, , , , , , ,

1br_rev_landscape_stack_w.date_blackHappy V-Day!

Did you know that 1 in 3 women will be beaten or raped during her lifetime? That’s ONE BILLION WOMEN AND GIRLS!

If this statistic is as shocking to you as it is to us, you should join our friends over at One Billion Rising. They have started an incredible Revolution to end violence against women and girls.

Every February, we rise – in hundreds of countries across the world – to show our local communities and the world what one billion looks like and shine a light on the rampant impunity and injustice that survivors most often face.  We rise through dance to express joy and community and and celebrate the fact that we have not been defeated by this violence. We rise to show we are determined to create a new kind of consciousness – one where violence will be resisted until it is unthinkable. This year we are rising for Revolution. We are initiating a new series, “Building to One Billion Rising Revolution” where we will be sharing stories of extraordinary activists who embody the creative radical shift in consciousness required to bring about CHANGE.  ~Grassroots Activists who fight for justice and liberation with passion and joy.