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Cloudy with a chance of ‘OH SHIT’!

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This year in Houston, we have a very bad drought. I read that in East Texas, they have been in drought for 3 years. I am saddened for the animals and the trees. People can always seem to find water.
What would happen if it was just the opposite? What if it rained NON STOP for 3 years? What if it rained NON STOP for months on end? It would be called Monsoon. Many parts of the world manage to get through their yearly Monsoon, but not without loss and heart ache. Houses get swept away, human and animal lives are lost, and a host of other tragedies occur.
What happens when life sends you a FLOOD of a different kind? Emotional floods. Floods that sweep through your heart and up end all that you held sound and solid?
Maybe that looks like a loved one passing at the same time that you lose your job. Or maybe it looks like the youngest child leaving for college and your spouse declares that they want a divorce? Or maybe it looks like you are in the hospital awaiting surgery and then the spouse walks in asking for a divorce? It has happened!
When these waves of emotion begin to crash all around you, do not try to swim… just float. DO NOTHING! This too will pass. It always does, it really always does.
Ask instead these questions:
1. What do you know for sure?
2. What can you be grateful for in this moment?
3. Who can you call to share/weep/sigh/scream to?
4. How can you REST inside of the turmoil and wait for the lessons?
5. DO NOTHING.

If you still have some time to read a great poem about emotional flooding… search for THE GUEST HOUSE BY RUMI.

Love and Light and Resting
Indrani

When you wish upon a star

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…Makes no difference who you are.  The song written for Walt Disney’s 1940 adaptation of Pinocchio, rings so true when it comes to our dreams and happiness.  We forget the “makes no difference who you are”!  We do not dignify our dreams and wish for happiness.  Perhaps we ignore our wishes out of feeling embarrassed, undeserving, or just too busy to give our dreams and longing for happiness the recognition and time.  We live as if it really does not matter that much.

We instead choose to play it safe.

When we play it safe, there is no fear of embarrassment in pursuing the dream, no fear that someone will ridicule us about our wish, no fear of failure that the dream may not be exactly what we had hoped.  We sit safely on the wish side lines, thinking happiness not worth the risk of stepping out into the playing field.

Too undeserving to dream?  What a lie we tell ourselves, “I am too ____( fill in the blank)_____ to have dreams, hopes for happiness”.  Would you tell a child they are undeserving?  Of course you wouldn’t, so why would you tell yourself that?  Age is not a factor.

Too busy to dream or wish for happiness? Make time!  There is time if you want there to be time.  If you invest that time in that wish or dream you can jump start your creativity, step a little lighter, smile a little brighter.  Heck, maybe just start smiling. Happiness is for everyone, and it CAN be obtained.  But you cannot obtain it if you do not recognize the wish for it.   I am not saying it won’t take some work.  But isn’t your wish for happiness worth it?

Wishes and dreams are not just for children. As a parent, how can you truthful encourage kids to dream and wish if you yourself do not believe that wishes & dreams are for everyone and that they can come true?!

Dreams & wishes DO matter. Perhaps even more so when we are older.

So, what is your wish or dream?  Write it down and start making your own dreams of happiness come true.

PS> Now that we have settled that… remember dreams have a bill of rights too!

Do you love yourself enough to get healthy?

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Wowzers, half the year is over!

Where did the time go?

I had such great plans for this year.

After my knee surgery in January, I planned to walk about 5 miles per week for three weeks and then get into gear to do some serious mileage.

I have done NOTHING.

Sure from time to time I get out and do a few miles, but that searing drive that I used to have when I was training for my triathlon and my marathons have disappeared.

I feel sad that I have allowed myself to fall off the fitness wagon.

I KNOW how to get back on.

It really is just a decision, a daily decision.

It really is just a promise to myself that my health is more important than anything else.

Just that simple.

So, this past week I again make this promise.

Now I make it in front of you, my dear friend.

I promise to take up my walking again five days of the week and I promise to find a great marathon to train for.

I ask you… What health gifts will you give to you?

I know that it will be difficult, it always is. I also know that it is well worth it.
I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I must do this if I truly love myself.

Do you love yourself enough to get healthy? I hope so.

Love and light from Indrani

Frustration

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The most frustrating situations occur when hard decisions have to be made. The decision is obvious, yet it is of the anticipated reactions by others that causes the frustration and pain.

Perhaps if we did not pre-determine the reactions in our heads, we could make the right decision easily, and then have the clear mind and heart to deal with the repercussions, if they occur at all.

The definition of divorce is….

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Emotional divorce as defined by me is:
Disengaging one’s energy from being entangled with the energy of another.
A shorter way to put this is:
Their business is none of yours!
Yes, I know it sounds crass and abrupt and even a little bitchy.

Bear with me a while and read the following story:
I just met a delightful woman walking her equally delightful dogs and we stopped to chat. I started to tell her about the joy event (if you missed it, send me an email and we will send you a taste of what you missed). Anyway, the conversation quickly turned to her feeling really taken advantage of by a very close family member. This person insists on smoking in her house, even though she has been repeatedly told not to. She engages in harmful drug behaviors and has people scrambling to always save her from herself. She even intentionally ruins the good fortunes of others with every trick at her disposal.
This person is an excellent teacher…. Do you have any such teachers in your life?

For example…
People who constantly borrow money?
People who continually dump their emotional bilge all over you?
People who are always complaining about their job but won’t make any changes?
People who must have all the attention on themselves because their life is the only thing worthwhile?

WHAT EXACTLY DO these people teach us? What could we possible learn from emotionally draining situations such as this?
Well the answer to this question is both simple and complicated.
The simple answer is this: They are here to teach us to mind our own business and live our own lives.
The complicated answer is this: What kind of life do you want and do you have the courage to step completely into it?

Let’s take the complicated answer first.

Take some time to answer these questions.

What would your LIFE look like if this person were NOT in your life?

How would you live differently?

What actions would you not have to take?
How would your emotional state of health look like?
Would you be happier if you did not have to constantly care take the emotional abuser?
Do you know what emotional abuse is?
Are there others in your life that you take emotional abuse from?
What wonderful projects would you invest the emotional energy that you are saving?

Now, the simple answer….
All the above answers are YOUR business.
All the above answers are the WAY YOU WANT to LIVE your own life.
NOW DO IT!
There is no time to waste.
Life is shorter than you think.
If not now, when?
If you won’t take responsibility for your happiness who will or more importantly who should?

Love and light, Indrani.

Joy goes on even if a loved one does not.

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A friend of mine recently lost his wife to a 14 year battle with cancer. Through those years he demonstrated joy, love, caring, passion, devotion, dedication…. the list goes on. He seemed to be super human in his caring and compassion for his wife. He made her every day a celebration.

Since her passing he has been working on getting life back together. A life without doctors, chemotherapy and the stress of the impending end. The furniture of their house and his life has now been moved around for the next chapter, for the future.

Some people say he is not grieving enough.

Are there time limits? Grieving rules written somewhere? Whose to say how long anyone should grieve?

His wife would want him to live life without her with as much joy as he did with her by his side.

Belief BUSTERS

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Ok so I really kinda want you to conjure up an image of Ghost Busters here and see them running around The New York Public Library chasing down old ghosts and sucking them into their canister.

Would it not be a hoot if we could find a way to suck out OLD burdensome beliefs that suck the life out of US and either replace it with a great new one or just leave space until we find one we like?

Here’s an example… This past weekend I had the great fortune to be the EMEE at Wealthy Thought Leader in Vancouver. Andrea Lee, took a heck of a chance on me. I was an unknown entity. This event was Andrea’s baby. She has nurtured it over the course of many months and she had a lot to lose if she choose the wrong woman for the job.

When she asked, I immediately said yes and then I allowed it to recede to the back of my mind until the week before. THEN I started to get worried.

All kind of “what ifs” entered my mind…
What if I don’t know what to say?
What if I look like a fool?
What if I look too fat? yep…even that!!!
What if the people don’t like the way I do it?
What if the simulcasters say I am doing a sucky job?
And the list went on and on… And on

On Thursday morning, I began and I KNEW I was holding back and Andrea felt it also. She asked if I was ok and I said yes but I was NOT!
She said that my energy was different and I admitted that I was AFRAID of coming off too bold or brazen and that I was worried that people would think I was trying to eclipse her. She laughed and said… eclipse Away!
So Thursday afternoon I showed up as ME and I never looked back… Except those nibbling “what ifs” were always lurking!
I am so grateful that everyone was supportive and that I did not have to fight negativity.

I was lucky…. What happens if YOU are following your passions… Like Lela Lee and have to fight your whole family system? That is HARD and energy sucking. It is easy to give up. It is easy to just do what you are being told to do. It is easy to turn down the dimmer switch.

Please don’t
Please allow yourself to feel discomfort and fear and insecurity.
Only by feeling all of these will you be able to find the courage to pursue and hone the skill set that will fuel your dreams.

Every hurtful comment you hear or mistake you make will strengthen your resolve to make your LIFE your OWN.

If not NOW… When?
Please give yourself a chance to shine. Only you can take that step and I GIVE YOU the PERMISSION.
Like Jesh De Rox says:
“Do not say something to yourself that you would not say to a new born!”

Love and light from Indrani and her iPad!

Man’s best friend is my best teacher.

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I recently got a chihuahua.

This little dog with a giant personality has become one of my best teachers ever. Each morning she runs around chasing her tail, delivering morning kisses. It is another great day to be a dog! Reminding me it is another great day to be a person!

She grins with that doggie smile not stressing over the issues of the day before. The puddle on the floor and the scolding is forgotten, its another new day. Reminding me that my mistakes of yesterday are passed and I should let go of them and be happy to move on.

She gives me constant looks as she tries to comprehend my words. Reminding me to listen try to be understanding to others.

She brings me back to moment at hand as she paws my leg. Reminding me to be here, now.

She is so happy and excited when I walk through the door after I have been gone. No judgement of where I have been, what I have done. Reminding me I should look at others with love in my heart and non judgement.

She stretches in downward facing dog, and upward facing dog, reminding me I better do some yoga.

How wonderful to get all of these lessons daily, in exchange for food, water and love.

Stop and take time to hear the silence

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Blaring music, TV’s spouting out news 24/7, ipods, cell phones, people talking with really nothing to say… its as if the world is coming down around us, suffocating our ability to hear the truth and peace that lies within us.

Silence allows expansion, to hear the breath, become aware of the rise and fall of the body with the breath. Quiet yourself to feel the pulsing of the blood moving through your body which is an incredible creation in and of itself. Become aware of physical tensions, breath through it and see if you can let it go. Once you are beyond physical body in the silence, you can start sensing the energy of the world outside of your body.

The silences brings awareness, to ourselves, and that we are part of something much bigger than the noise around us.

Silence is golden. Stop and take time to hear the silence.

Vulnerability is not a bottomless pit…

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Rather it is a very shallow pool of very cold water…. Means you are in discomfort for only a short while. If you stay with the feeling of being vulnerable long enough, your body temp begins to warm up your surroundings.  Pretty  soon you are back to your normal level of courage BUT you have grown from the challenge,  instead of pushing the feeling away and always living under the thought

“OH  NO what if this happens again, what will I do?”

If it happens again, you will know what to do because you did not run from the lesson the last time around.

Let me give you an example:

Let’s say someone asks you a question about an element of your work or expertise and you do not know the answer.

You can BS your way thru and you can make up some good theory and say “PHEW that’s over ”

OR

You can say…

” Let me get back to you about this because I do not have that answer at the tip of my fingers…” and show that even YOU an expert in your field can admit to not have all the answers.

If I choose the BS route and avoid the vulnerable feeling THEN I have to remember exactly what BS I used the next time this same thing comes up or I run the risk of not only being vulnerable but being inauthentic and flaky.

Showing vulnerability in one area does not make you devoid of smarts in all other areas.  If you have thoughts like, what if I admit to not knowing, will they think I am ignorant in all other areas? They will not UNLESS you first broadcast that kind of energy.

Nothing erodes self confidence quicker than inauthenticity.

How would you take one step into your vulnerability?

You really have to KNOW what vulnerability feels like to you.

Where in your body do you feel the stirrings or the bashing over the head of vulnerability?

Being aware of what your body does in the midst of feeling vulnerable is the very first step towards making vulnerability your friend.

You have to become aware of your own self and your own reactions.This takes a little time to do some SELF research.

S…specificity…with the feelings awhile. Take notes about the feelings, keep a vulnerability journal, but write in it as a court reporter would, be a CSI of your own body.

E…examine…what your body is doing. As you journal, be very specific with all the physical feelings that you are experiencing and try not to judge them. Try not to call any of the feelings STUPID or try not to say “I Should Know Better”.

L…letting the feelings be investigated with real curiosity. Bring infinite curiosity to your physical feelings. Unpack them as eagerly and as slowly as you would open a gift from Tiffanys.

F…firm up your resolve to NOT run away from the moment. Just like you would not think of throwing that lovely piece of jewelry from Tiffanys into the discard pile, do not discard the intense level of KNOWING that you are feeling.

Then stand in your authentic vulnerability instead of the inauthenticity of feeling invulnerable to the trials and tribulations of this very human existence.

If you can befriend vulnerability, the world is your oyster and the pearls are the incidents that you used to stump your toe upon.