The most frustrating situations occur when hard decisions have to be made. The decision is obvious, yet it is of the anticipated reactions by others that causes the frustration and pain.
Perhaps if we did not pre-determine the reactions in our heads, we could make the right decision easily, and then have the clear mind and heart to deal with the repercussions, if they occur at all.
Springtime in Texas is beautiful with all the wild flowers in bloom. I found this beautiful Irish blessing…
“May flowers always line your path and sunshine light your day. May songbirds serenade you every step along the way. May a rainbow run beside you in a sky that’s always blue. And may happiness fill your heart each day your whole life through.”
I also want to invite you to this event Virtual JOY Summit: INHALE LIFE, EXHALE JOY.
I walk along the city streets…
And my memories escape from the corners of my mind…
Have you ever had the chance to retrace steps from your past without people from your present?
By this I mean, without your spouse or children or dog or siblings?
Perhaps to walk your alma mater?
To visit the place where you had your first job?
Visit the place where you had your first meltdown as a younger version of yourself?
I highly recommend it.
Recently I had the great fortune to spend some extended time in NYC.
After getting all my work done that was on my schedule, I found myself with ONE free afternoon and night.
No one to meet, no work to do and no schedule to keep.
So I took the subway to the station where I used to catch my train to go home to queens. The station looked worn and old and familiar.
I exited and found myself staring at the doors of Bloomingdales.
In my distant past, I felt like I did NOT belong in that store.
Only rich, well heeled people should go in there was my thinking.
Now mind you, I have been back to shop many times, but THIS time I was walking in the shadow of my 21 year old self who was so very scared and believed in scarcity of everything. Scarcity of LOVE, scarcity of MONEY, scarcity of a decent JOB that would afford her a place of her own.
Nothing came easy to my 21 year old self, except studies. I could study with the best of them.
I held on to that belief and I knew that if I just kept working my minimum wage job and taking 18 to 20 credits per semester that ONE day, I would land on my feet.
I had to hold that belief for dear life because it would have been so very easy to give up and just settle for an ordinary life. I so desperately did not want an ordinary life.
I felt that I wanted my life to mean something more than all the models that I had seen.
I would see co workers who made as little money as I did and they could live in NYC because they had parents who paid their rent.
I was so very jealous.
Why was life so hard for me?
So last week, as I walked in the shadow of that 21 year old, I reached back to almost 35 years ago and told my younger self Thankyou!
Thank you for never giving up.
Thank you for not succumbing to the fake promises of bright lights and fleeting loves.
I visited the place where I saw my first French movie and where I had felt so sophisticated because I had never seen a movie in a different language. This time I purchased a ticket as a well seasoned global citizen and settled into the familiar padded seats and I saw another French movie and smiled to myself. Catherine Deneuve is still so very beautiful, and I could tell from her face that lots of time has passed. She has aged well and so have I.
I accept my aged face so much more easily than I ever could accept my young face.
I no longer look for flaws, now I am so grateful for what looks back at me.
I hear tell of people who go to high school ten unions and they see their old flames and break up their families chasing the past. This is NOT what I am saying to do.
I am saying to go back to the school without any body. Just you and your younger shadow and tell that young teenager that he or she did a great job of getting you into adulthood.
I firmly believe that our present will be solidly grounded if we can make peace with our past and shed the shame that comes with painful memories.
Let us be proud of who we are a d prouder still that we have come a long way baby!
It is a common line used in the break-up of a relationship. Often this line leaves the other person thinking it is really “them”. We use this line to soften the blow when we end the relationship, but we really think it is “them”.
The line “It’s not you, its me” is true however, it is about “me” and it should be about “me”. We should not judge others in their habits, idiosyncrasies, etc. and blame them.
It is hard to accept blame ourselves for who and what we are, so we think to ourselves that it is “them”. But it is not.
We have to realize and accept the truth within ourselves, and admit, yes it is ME!
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5_KPTPcWU3U[/youtube]
Life is a water bottle with mud in it, can you wait the mud to settle? Check out the video…
As a kid growing up, I remember us having a boat, an airplane (I thought all kids flew somewhere for pancakes on Sunday), a couple cars, a nice house…. and yet I never saw joy in my father’s face. As an adult I vowed to myself I would not make those same mistakes in acquiring material goods knowing they would not make me happy. But lo and behold as I stand here today, I see that I did not escape the trap.
And what a trap it is. The stuff we buy to try to fulfill a void, fulfill the ego, to fulfill what society tells us we should do/be/have. When in actuality what we are seeking does not require financing, an American Express, or a drive to the mall. It may take time to find joy which is in all of us, but it is free.
It is the joy within us that can fill us until we are overflowing. Instead of being weighed down by possessions, with joy we are as light as a feather dancing on the breeze.
Oh the Places You'll Go.
Kay Walten is a dear friend and a contributor to this site. Kay has authored this inspiring blog and we hope you enjoy it as much as we do! Love & Light, Indrani.
This past week we have been talking about the upcoming Virtual JOY Event: INHALE LIFE, EXHALE JOY . It is exciting as we get the bios of all the people who will be sharing their joy at the event. In one of the emails going back and forth as we brain stormed, some one put in the subject line: iamjoy OH JOY I AM! and she laughed maybe she could write a Dr. Seuss book.
I started to look… about if I could, about if I should, do it this week, write in a way that Dr. Seuss would speak! Then I read some things great and small, and found something he wrote that applies to us all.
You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
You’re on your own.
And you know what you know.
And YOU are the one who’ll decide where to go.
You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed.
You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly, you’ll be the best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.
I’m sorry to say so
But, sadly it’s true
That bang-ups and hang-ups
Can happen to you.
On and on you will hike, And I know you’ll hike far
and face up to your problems whatever they are.
You’ll get mixed up of course, as you already know.
You’ll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
And remember that Life’s a great balancing act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.
Will you succeed?
Yes you will indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)
I read these lines with a smile on my face, & thought of how joy can bring us to the same place. I invite you to be there, where ever you are, it makes no difference how close or how far. So if we INHALE LIFE we are sure to see, we will EXHALE JOY its got to be!
If you want to be there and there without fail, you can sign up right here and you’ll get an email.
And lastly I invite you, go take a look, click right here we’re on facebook.
Spoken by Colonel Jessop in A Few Good Men
Can YOU handle the TRUTH?
Want to know the truth about your very special gifts?
Head on over to www.indranislight.org and sign up for Chat n Chai and you will get a great coaching tool called 5 minutes to happiness and you will uncover all those character traits you have been hiding under a rock.
This rock is called You Are Not Good Enough!
Can you handle the truth of how very special and wonderful you are?
I believe you can
So click
www.indranislight.org and go chat and chai to get your special coaching tool.
Love & Light
I have been following the events in Japan with teary eyes and a sad heart. The catastrophe is much greater than expected. The effects of radiation will be seen in generations ahead. Then I noodle on iodine pills and how the intake of “good” iodine can stave off the uptake of the radioactive iodine, to prevent thyroid cancers.
That simple statement had me thinking about what we humans have to do to stave off negativity from people who “vomit their radioactive energy” all over us… at any damn time they feel like it.
And there she was… a beautifully negative woman… sitting right in front of me and smiling like she meant it.
I mentioned the Flash Mob and she immediately said, “Forgive me for not being joyful but I have been around dancing all my life”…
I was quite taken aback, but if you know me, I do not give up that easily
so I said….
Did you see all the women our age who had fun?
She replied, “Well you had 200 people and I spent the day with 5000 dancing queens (meaning drill team)”
I said, “NO I will not accept that, The Flash Mob was awesome and you missed out” and I turned away and began another conversation.
She did not infect me!!!
WHY?
Becauese I had my uptake of the good iodine… I was full of pure unpasteurised JOY.!
TRY it… Keep JOY in your lives… it will protect you from folks who “vomit their negative vibes” all over your sweet life.
Your world is a fine balance in the space between old cultural norms and new cultural norms. Not old cultural as in useless, but old as in ” the old country” and new as in “your adopted country”.
I have seen so many people who have moved here from someplace else and still try to live as though they were in their little village. They reject EVERYTHING American. They are afraid that their kids “FORGET’ where they came from so they make it almost impossible for their children to have normal friendships. They make it impossible for their children to find their own fine balance.
In the best of times, we all do a dance between what we want and what is expected of us by various people in our lives.
Recently I have met some women who have been brought to this country after marriage. All of these woman had arranged marriages. Their husbands went to the “old country” and married the best of the best. These women are highly educated, ambitious, courageous ( came to a new country away from their families) and eager to learn how to thrive in America.
What they did not know was that their husbands wanted to recreate an imagined old world village. In these villages, the daughters-in-law, never left the house. They prayed in the morning, then cooked ( new food every day) and then sat with folded hands and waited for the King to come home. Some of them even tried, they actually thought that they could “trick” themselves into becoming ancient and useless. They could not. As their powerful selves emerged, their husbands and in-laws absolutely lost their minds. They screamed, threatened, blamed, abused and even took their children and squirreled them away to a different country.
These women have had to dig deep and find strength and courage they did not know they possessed. Some of these men did not even renew their wives papers to be legal in this country and have left the women scrambling to find ways to stay here so they can be near their kids.
At this writing I know of 2 women who have had to leave their children behind because they could not a legal way to stay in their adopted country. Their hearts are broken!
These women are recreating themselves in their new country and doing it all alone. Is there a way to marry old and new? I think so, Yes, very definitely.
One of the first things that have to be addressed is “why did you leave your village and what did you hope to find in your new country?”
If you cannot answer these simple questions, then you will never know if and when you have found what you are looking for.
How can you tell what to keep and what to leave? Try a different combination from the old and the new. How about western clothes in a traditional ceremony?
Why do you do what you do? Does it bring JOY? Does it cement the pain?
Only YOU have the answers. Take some time to reflect on what life you want to create. Find an ally and get some strength. If you do not then nothing will change.
Take a risk, your happiness is worth it!