Category Archives: life

Some daily coping strategies

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Are you constantly sad?  Have no one to confide in?  No one will listen to you?  Do you cry silently when you think no one can hear you?

Are you staying in your present situation because you feel completely powerless?

Are you staying FOR the KIDS?

Here are some simple steps to help you cope:

1.  When you feel overwhelmed, excuse yourself even if just to the bathroom and take some deep belly breaths.  Stay there for about 5 minutes, keep breathing and allowing yourself this space.

2.  Keep your feet firmly planted in the earth and stay grounded. Know that you are being supported by the earth even if you feel you are falling over a cliff… You are not really falling.  Be steady.

3.  Repeat some positive affirmations to yourself, such as I AM a good person.  I AM a child of god. Life is teaching me exactly what I need to learn for ME to move into MY right life.

A BILL OF RIGHTS FOR DREAMS…

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Dear (insert your name)

I am every one of your Dreams. I want to tell you about my Bill of Rights, you see, you may have forgotten that I have a Bill of Rights!

I do not mean to offend you BUT I want you to know that

  1. I deserve to be let out of the darkness of non-fulfillment
  2. I have something wonderful to teach the world
  3. YOUR Joy is my ONLY concern
  4. I Know that you are doing your best, allow me to be my best
  5. My work is VERY important

I know that there are more years than you care to remember when you were too tired to invest thought and energy into making me real. I want to tell you that 2011 is the year of my coming OUT.

I have tried to get your attention by displaying odd behaviors such as

over eating,

chronic fatigue

depression

anxiety

you get the idea.

I really thought that if you felt uncomfortable you would figure it out and take some real action. BUT you think that another diet,more material stuff,affairs, and a better body can fix the sadness. You have learned that this only makes it worse.

PLEASE, please take some time to sit in meditation and listen to me! Please, if you listen to what I have to say I can really help you out of the pickle you are in.

If you choose to NOT listen, I will take more drastic action until I get your attention.

Sincerely

Your Dreams!

Celebrating flaws…

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A friend sent this to me and I thought that it is worth sharing 🙂

An elderly Indian woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck. One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walks from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.

For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments.  But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do ha lf of what it had been made to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream. “I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house.” The old woman smiled, “Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot’s side? That’s because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them.For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house.”

Each of us has our own unique flaws. But it’s the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. We’ve just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them. SO, to all of you,my cracked pot friends, have a great day, a wonderful year ahead, and remember to smell the flowers on your side of the path! 🙂

Happy 2011 to you and yours! I respect and love you the way you are and for all the caring things that you do each day in your life for your community and all your loved ones. Thank you for being a part of my life and having impacted me in a unique and wonderful way that you may not even be aware of!

Thank you to Sheela for this story. I could not have found a better message.

love and light

Indrani

Gifts to myself…

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I have to tell you, I do not need another SINGLE material possession!

I have enough STUFF for 10 lifetimes!

This year here is what I intend to wrap up and place under the tree… a deep remembering to

  • Use all the colors in my paint box called life.
  • Do my work without regret
  • Work with abandon
  • Take some risks with my business/life… like crossing the Capilano Suspension Bridge! and creating a non profit foundation.
  • Seek to see something else…
  • Allow my process to unfold
  • Go Big, whatever that means to ME!
  • Live with passion and purpose
  • Be a contributor when I can and a receiver when I need
  • Be unforgettable
  • Be Myself
  • Allow my mistakes to be my teacher
  • See the invisible, the what is not yet here but wants/needs to be created
  • Think out loud
  • Live out loud
  • Laugh out loud!!!!
  • Say NO as often as I need to so I can be HEARD!
  • Say Yes as often as I want to
  • Say THANKS often

Let me then say THANKS to you are for reading this and other musings. I am so very grateful that you share a little of your time with me.

If these gifts work for you… print this and keep it out in the open.

Love and light

Indrani

NO NO NO NO NO… how to hold to your NO and respect the other!

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OK, here it is. Early morning call from a company that I had sent in a BIO to. I sent in my info because the offer said ” NO PURCHASE REQUIRED!”

The caller was delightful, she is from NY and so am I. She loves NY and so do I. She asked me lots of questions about my business, my career and hobbies and THEN

” Well Indrani, we have over 4000,000 members that you can network with so for $793.00 you can have a lifetime membership and you never have to apply again.”

I reply” I must speak with my business partner first…”

She continues” you know we have lost of people to speak to and if we waited for everyone we would never get the book published”

I say, ” In that case this is not for me”

We go back and forth, I get offered a 500.00 deal but she will throw in the add ons… NO

Again another offer, ok we have a 300.00…. NO

I say” Thank you for doing such a great job of giving me a wonderful chance to stand in my NO”.

She is taken aback but only for a moment ” I just want you to hear how great this opportunity is, 1000’s of people apply and we only accept a few…”

I say” I am hearing you, but you do not seem to be hearing me when I say NO”

I eventually complimented her on the great job she did for the company in attempting to convert me from a possibility into a paying client. She is a great employee. She had all her reasons down pat as to why I SHOULD buy her item!

I still may buy, but first I will do my research. I will not be squeezed into giving my money away.

Here is the anatomy of How to Stick to your NO

1. KNOW why you are saying NO.

2. Know what you are saying YES to when you say your NO.

3. Compliment the asker so they do not take it as a personal rejection.

4. Repeat your NO as OFTEN as it takes for you to be HEARD!

5. If none of the above works… then hang up/leave the room/close off your energy. And DO NOT JUDGE YOURSELF FOR BEING A BAD PERSON.

Love and light

Indrani

The A B C’s of my Life… what’s yours?

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Lets borrow a page from our days of NOT KNOWING MUCH, even the ABC’s and get out from the DAZE of THINKING WE KNOW SO MUCH

lets re- learn our ABC’s

A/ASSERTIVE

B/BRAVE

C/CURIOUS

D/DYNAMIC

E/EMPATHETIC

F/FORGIVING

G/GENEROUS

H/HUMOROUS

I/INSPIRATIONAL

J/JOYFUL

K/KIND

L/LOVING

M/MINDFUL

N/NOURISHING

O/OPTIMISTIC

P/PASSIONATE

Q/QUESTIONING

R/REFLECTIVE

S/STEADY

T/TENACIOUS

U/UPLIFTING

V/VIBRANT

W/WISE

X/eXCITED

Y/non YELLING

Z/ZESTFUL

I invite you to CREATE YOUR OWN ABC BRAG LIST.

What would life look like if you only lived those traits and let go of the negative.

love and light

Indrani

A Peek into my Gratitude process

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I have used the MOLESKIN 12-pack calendar this whole year to make it easy for me to record the things that I am grateful for at the end of each day.

These little books are small enough to travel with and IF it gets lost I am only losing about 1 month’s worth of items. I TRY to keep my nightstand clean ( Ahem.. I cleaned it up for the photo!) and I see the small book right there and I remember to put something in.

Here is a sample of some of the things I have been grateful for this year:

Jan 2nd 2010

  • Rolled down a HILL for first time in 30 years
  • Played Wii with Mo John and had tones of fun

April 7th 2010

  • Buddha story on PBS left me feeling so peaceful. I meditated before I went to sleep.

July 7th 2010

  • Did my first Energy Forum class. I am so happy to share this work.

September 19th 2010

  • Lovely day to “fight” away “poor me” thoughts.
  • Nice dinner with Anita and wonderful chat with Racha
  • Grateful for secure home, alarm system, Wolf, Andrea Lee, new client.

So as you can see, I don’t have to write long epistles of gratitude. And guess what… just rereading those few random entries brought a smile to my face and heart.

Here are some other ideas for starting a Gratitude practice  or refining one already in place:

  • Hope that you find some joy and spaciousness with your gratitude practice: Moleskine 2011 12 Month Color A Month Daily Planner
  • Online: Search for “Gratitude Journal app”, several are available under itunes/appstore for iPhone, iTouch, and iPad.  They are also available for Android based smartphones, search for “Gratitude Journal for Android”.

Love and Light,

Indrani

WHEN IS THE TRUTH just another LIE?

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A Few years ago, while my children were in elementary school, one of my neighbors had a Christmas cookie exchange.

This woman had just applied to our school for her daughter and had not been accepted. NOTICE I did not say rejected. NO ONE CAN REJECT YOU WITH OUT YOUR PERMISSION!

As the evening progressed, and the wine flowed and the gossip… oops… “talk” became more dramatic, this woman, lets call her Janet, had a big revelation about our school.

This was it… she KNEW on excellent AUTHORITY, that our High School Kids were ALL having sex behind the Gym.

REALLY?

” YES” she expounded ” REALLY!”

There were several Moms at this party whose kids went to the school in question. I noticed that NOT a SINGLE one of us tried to refute this woman… including myself. She went on and on and…. then something came to life in me!

I KNEW that taking her on directly would be a mistake. Then it would be a side show. So here is what the conversation looked like for the next few minutes…

Me ” Wow Janet, this is really BAD. This school is really allowing such behavior?”

Janet ” Yes, it is and that is why we have decided that it is a GOOD thing that we will not be going there!”

Me” I am so grateful to you for pointing this out. I don’t know if you KNOW that I am GREAT friends with the Head Master and The Admissions Director”… I was not this was a LIE!… ” so I am going to call them up tomorrow and tell them what YOU have DISCOVERED  and tell them to CALL you for more details, since you clearly are CONCERNED  for our High School Kids. And I will also TELL them that you are RELIEVED that you were REJECTED” by the school. OH Janet, Thanks for caring for our kids.”

YOU COULD HEAR A PIN DROP!

All eyes were trained on her and we all waited for her response.

Her jaw dropped to the ground and NO WORDS were coming out of her mouth.

She tried to catch her breath and finally said

” Well, I , umm, well I don’t think, well you see I really don’t…” I went to get some more wine and I did not hear what else she had to say.

I left shortly after and did not get invited to any more cookie exchanges.

PLEASE  do yourself a favor this holiday

When someone presents you with AN IRREFUTABLE TRUTH… please take a page from my book and offer to do them a favor by broadcasting it to their whole world!

WHY?

BECAUSE IF SOMETHING IS TRUE… IT IS TRUE and we should stand by it! Otherwise it is malicious gossip and that is toxic to our soul.

HAPPY DIWALI… The festival of Light

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This past weekend was the Hindu festival of Diwali. I have a dear friend who knows much about her roots (unlike me!) and I asked her to send me the true meaning of this wonderful festival ( see below).

As I was re educating myself with the True meaning of Diwali, I had many moments of awareness. Diwali is the celebration of inner light but it is the outer light that we see. We light lamps, candles, even strings of Christmas lights to show that we are inviting light into our homes and hearts. I remember as a child growing up in Trinidad, I would fill clay pots with oil and roll cotton into wicks and place them all along the edges of the garden. It was magical.

Then in later years when I went to India and saw strings of Christmas lights I was disappointed that the original clay pots were not being used.  I was told that the fire hazard was too great. OK, that makes sense.

Thank you to Bindya for the wonderful description below.

The name Diwali is itself a contraction of the word “Deepavali” (Sanskrit: दीपावली Dīpāvalī), which translates into row of lamps. Diwali involves the lighting of small clay lamps (diyas) filled with oil to signify the triumph of good over evil. During Diwali, all the celebrants wear new clothes and share sweets and snacks with family members and friends.

While Deepavali is popularly known as the “festival of lights”, the most significant spiritual meaning is “the awareness of the inner light”. Central to Hindu philosophy is the assertion that there is something beyond the physical body and mind which is pure, infinite, and eternal, called the Atman. The celebration of Deepavali as the “victory of good over evil”, refers to the light of higher knowledge dispelling all ignorance, the ignorance that masks one’s true nature, not as the body, but as the unchanging, infinite, immanent and transcendent reality. With this awakening comes compassion and the awareness of the oneness of all things (higher knowledge). This brings Ananda (joy or peace). Just as we celebrate the birth of our physical being, Deepavali is the celebration of this Inner Light.

While the story behind Deepavali and the manner of celebration varies from region to region (festive fireworks, worship, lights, sharing of sweets), the essence is the same – to rejoice in the Inner Light (Atman) or the underlying Reality of all things (Brahman).

Deepavali marks the end of the harvest season in most of India. Farmers give thanks for the bounty of the year gone by, and pray for a good harvest for the year to come. Traditionally this marked the closing of accounts for businesses dependent on the agrarian cycle, and is the last major celebration before winter. Lakshmi symbolizes wealth and prosperity, and her blessings are invoked for a good year ahead.

As per spiritual references, on this day “Lakshmi-panchayatan” enters the Universe. Vishnu, Indra, Kubera, Gajendra and Lakshmi are elements of this “panchayatan” (a group of five). The tasks of these elements are:

  • Lakshmi:        Divine Energy (Shakti) which provides energy to all the above activities.
  • Vishnu:            Happiness (happiness and satisfaction)
  • Kubera:            Wealth (generosity; one who shares wealth)
  • Indra:                Opulence (satisfaction due to wealth)
  • Gajendra:        Carries the wealth

Diwali commemorates the return of Lord Rama along with Sita and Lakshman from his fourteen year long exile and vanquishing the demon-king Ravana. In joyous celebration of the return of their king, the people of Ayodhya, the Capital of Rama, illuminated the kingdom with earthen diyas (oil lamps) and burst crackers.

If you are as amazed with the symbolism as I am here are some practical steps to make the symbolic real.

1. Know that WEALTH first means emotional and spiritual wealth. To make ourselves vulnerable enough to admit that at times we are emotionally and spiritually bankrupt is no easy thing.

2. Be courageous enough to wipe the slate clean of old hurts and toxicities in your life. This does not mean to go back to being abused or back into the path of destructive people, but to learn the lessons and allow yourself to make better decisions the next time. The holiday season is upon us, make different decisions for your self this year ones that will not drain you emotionally, spiritually or financially.

3.FORGIVE YOURSELF for everything you think you have done wrong.

4. Set an intention… a clear intention, to attract new wealth into your life. What elements in your life do you want to be different? Into what parts of your life are you inviting more abundance?

5. CLEAR out the cobwebs in your thinking so you will recognize abundance when you see it. I had an epiphany about my physical abundance during the summer when I was fussing about my fat upper arms and saw a woman who had been burnt on 70 percent of her body and she was happy to wear short sleeves. What a wake up call to me!

NAMASTE… The Light in me sees and respects the Light in YOU.

When PERFECTION bites you on the butt… kick it to the curb!

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Recently I had the great fortune to be a speaker at a woman’s day of wellness. I wanted to say a big Thank you to the women in the audience by giving away a month of coaching. I did not want a big production about the give away so as I was attaching my business cards to my hand outs I decided to place one on upside down and the person who got that handout would be the winner of the coaching sessions.

The woman who won was so happy and she can hardly wait to start… but the story does not end here. As I was chatting and being social another woman approached me and said

” You know, I got that hand out but did not want it because the card was upside down, so I put it back and took one off the bottom of the pile.” She was clearly upset. She continued ” This is going to bother me for a long time.”

Talk about letting the search for perfection bite you on the butt!

You know what, it would bother me too if I allowed an such opportunity to pass me by.

Then I started to wonder, how many of us MISS OUT on life by searching for perfection? What does perfection look like? Would we even recognize it if we came face to face with it?

If I want perfect legs, would I recognize that legs with cellulite that work well and carry me through my day IS as perfect as it gets?

I remember one day in the summer, I was fussing about my fat arms and did not want to wear a sleeve less shirt, so in 100 degree weather I put on long sleeves.. then I saw a woman in shorts and short sleeves who had clearly survived a bad fire and she was so happy to be free to walk and shop and be independent!

If I want perfect children, will I recognize when they are trying their best and being their perfect selves?

If I want a perfect marriage, will I understand that when my spouse comes home every night, hugs and kisses me and watches some mundane TV show with me and listens to my day… that that is indeed perfection?

Will I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt that using all my gifts and talents in service and gratitude is as a perfect life as anyone can create?

No, I do not always recognize these perfect moments, but I want to, I really do!

Today, I invite you to recognize all the perfection around you and to accept that you are perfect also.

Today, my wish for you is to KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that life is sweet, perfect and ever changing… tomorrow you will create a new perfect!

Now, go forth and create some glorious imperfect perfection!