Category Archives: life

2B or not 2 B is not the question… 2 B yourself or not, IS!

I cannot tell you how many times I have mumbled this quote to myself (and always in some weird version of a British accent and I also seem to morph into a gray haired old geezer).

I like this question better anyway:

2B or not 2 B myself?

Why didn’t Willie think of that?

Here’s the sticky part to this question… in order to choose to be myself, I have to know what BEING MYSELF means. This has not always been easy. There have been more times than I care to remember when I relied on others to tell me who I was, what I should do, who I should or shouldn’t like, etc. I framed my “ME” within the confines of someone else.

To be ME, the full and total ME that I am meant to be, means allowing myself to explore all the areas of life that I enjoy and to focus on the enjoyable parts of the areas that I don’t particularly like.

One very easy way to become the fullest you is to continually practice qualities that you want to improve or deepen. For example, If I desire to be kinder, I need to practice kindness every time I have the chance.

I must practice in deed, thought and word.

It may not be quick, but a little practice goes a long way and the universe is always giving us opportunities to step up to the plate.

Here’s to full and deep practice… cheers

LIFE…assembly required

We have just come off the holidays. We all either bought or received gifts that requires doing something from simply inserting a plug  or full blown building like making sense of a bunch of parts/Lego blocks/software instructions etc. Ring any familiar bells?

This got me to do some serious thinking.

What if I applied those same principles to building the life I want? We all have a life ( if you are reading this you certainly do!) and more often than not it has been highly influenced by the actions of others. Their choices have had some impact on us.

What if I thought of all those ” things that happened” as parts of the thing I have to create. All the pieces are necessary to some degree but just like some packages, there are sometimes extra parts in case we lose or mess up right?

If I accepted that it was my responsibility to create the BEST POSSIBLE product (my life) from all the parts that are laying on the floor, I may just begin to accept the task of experimenting with a different combination. Instead of judging myself when something was not as I wanted, I may deconstruct it and try something completely new. I would KNOW that as long as I was playing around with the elements, that I was in the game and I may accept all the silly missteps and aggravations that previously threw me for a loop. I might actually expect a part or two to break or roll out of sight and I would actually replace something it if I thought it was absolutely necessary or I might go looking for it, like I would if a screw rolled under a sofa.

Here’s an example. I recently got a flip cam ( get one!) and I plugged it into my Mac. I was having the hardest time getting it to do what it was supposed to do, which is to e mail video easily and effortlessly. It turns out that the Flip cam LOVES windows a lot and Macs not so much. So, I got my computer guy to install a parallel windows software and now my FLIP loves my computer!

In this instance I did not have all the parts I needed, I had to buy some more which I gladly did and my goal was accomplished. Exactly what I would have to do if I had something that needed batteries to power it up! I would not fret that I needed batteries. I would wait until I had the money to get them and I would be happy that I got my new toy to work.

Now for a LIFE example. When I was first certified as a life coach, I really wanted to incorporate yoga  with my coaching. I observed my clients and the way they held their bodies and realized that a lot was being unsaid/unheard and untapped in their body language. When I was face to face with someone I would notice how their bodies reflected their pain and challenges. I did some research and found a program ( Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy) that used the body as a portal into the mind.

The training required travel and studying and tons of reports ( and I hate to type!). I did a quick inventory check of the elements I already possessed ( I liked to travel, I am a good student, I have a computer to type my reports ( and thank god for spell check), I enjoy learning new things etc)  that would enable me to put this new coaching persona together, A Life Coach who used yoga and yoga therapy with clients. It took almost 2.5 years but this past October I finally completed the last of my Yoga training and now I am fully certified to create the life I have dreamed about.

How about you? Is there something in your life that you want to create but the parts that are laying around seem more like obstacles than pieces of the puzzle you need? What can you do to re-frame the way you are thinking about what you are surrounded by and make all these pieces work for you?

My questions to you are quite simple:

1.What do you want to create?…be very specificc

2.What skill sets do you already have?… be really boastful

3.What do you need to acquire ( new skill sets)?… be really honest

4.Who is teaching what you need?… be very open minded

5.What forgotten parts of your life do you need to find in order to make your new life a reality?… be very introspective

6. How much responsibility are you willing to take for the life that you dream about?… be very sincere

When you begin to PLAY with the above questions and responses, a picture will begin to form. Take a few days/weeks ( yes, I know that January will be over, but you can still keep resolutions in February ok?).  Take some time to journal about the things that are coming up for you. Use collage/paint/magnetic words on the fridge… just have some fun!

Allow the mental picture to really take shape and then INSERT yourself in this picture.

Take some time to feel it/ see it/ taste it/ touch it/ hear it… use all your senses.

Take the time to ASSEMBLE the life you want from all the pieces of information that you have.

Now, it’s your turn to do some assemblage!

A GREAT LIST OF LISTS FOR 2010…a great way to start 2010!

OK, I really do hate lists,

BUT I did an experiment on Jan 1st 2009 and it BLEW me away when ( as I was cleaning my desk) I found my List of Lists for 2009!

The most important thing that occurred to me was that I HAD ACTUALLY DONE ALL THE STUFF I HAD WRITTEN DOWN.

I must admit that I was really surprised that I accomplished all that I set out to do. I amazed myself… anyway here are some LIST ideas to get you started on making 2010 an AWESOME year!!!

  1. A list of the GOALS you have for 2010. Some of my goals for 2009 was to finish Yoga Teacher Training, go the the Himalayas to look for land for my retreat center and to survive a senior year of High School. Done, done and done!
  2. A list of stuff to give away like clothes that are too old, too tight or just plain too ugly!
  3. A list of stuff to give up like smoking, eating too much cake (OOPPS, THAT WOULD BE ME ), hanging out with people who bring you down, watching too much TV, too much Facebook checking, too much surfing, in other words too many time stealers. Now what can you do with all this time you will save? Glad you asked that would be another list haha.
  4. A list of stuff you want to start with all the time you created in your life like learning a new language, training for your first marathon, learning to swim and doing a triathlon (oh yea that one is so me), doing some meaningful community service, eating dinner with your family.
  5. Make your bucket list, stuff that you want to do before you die! This year I crossed off 3 things on my bucket list, one of them being hot air ballooning over Cappadocia in Turkey. Oh by the way when I made my bucket list I was deathly afraid of heights but I still wrote down that I wanted to be in a hot air balloon. Do not allow your fears to control your dreams. Go ahead dream as though you had no fears, hey what do you have to lose? NADA I tell ya, NADA!

I think that you have enough homework don’t you?

I have made a nice list your you of stuff you might need for those pesky holiday returns. I found this list in one of my magazines and I have found it very useful

HOW TO GET A HUMAN ON THE PHONE:

Amazon.com… 800 201 7575 do not press 0 or say anything.

American Express…800 528 4800 Press 0 at prompts ignore messages

Apple…800 275 2273 Press 0 at each prompt ignore messages

Dell Tech Support…800 624 9896 Press 3 then say “agent” at each additional prompt ignoring messages

Equifax…866 640 2273 Press 3 at each prompt ignoring messages

White House… 202 456 1414 This goes directly to an operator…. hey if you speak to Barack tell him I said “hi”

Make those lists as you are waiting in car pool line, killing time at the post office or just plain running away from the work you really have to do ( what the heck the laundry will wait, people can feed themselves and the dog … well you’d better not make the dog wait!… )but you get the idea.

Take some time for yourself in these next few weeks of this brand new year and create a List that will make all other lists feel insignificant.

Let me know what you think.

EXPIRATION DATES… applied to the “stuff of life”


I was recently visiting my parents in Trinidad and wanted to take my Mom to the beach

so I was rummaging around for sunscreen. I found 5 tubes/bottles/sprays all way past their expiration dates. The worst was 1987 and the newest was 1996!

I immediately started to wonder about the ” stuff” we carry around with us and if they ever have expiration dates. How long must we store or obey unwritten rules that say we should not do certain things? How much stock must we put in the old rules from years long past about what we should or should not believe.

A client from another country recently told me that her husband NEVER eats left over food because it was not safe. I agreed that in years past when there were no refrigerators that left overs were not safe. But we are in this century with frozen food  crossing the globe several time a day and it is quite safe. She still has not given herself permission to not have to cook fresh food not only once but several times a day.

I think that the expiration date on that belief is way over!

Is it kind of like still holding on to beliefs like the world is flat and the sun moves around the earth?

If a belief no longer works for us do we have to wait for the whole society to accept that it is way past the expiration date?  Can we be strong enough to stand firm in new knowledge and create some wiggle room in those very out dated beliefs?

When we choose to step outside of the acceptable norm, how can we make ourselves immune to the ” how dare you not follow the rules” attacks?

During this holiday season, you may find yourself trying to step out of some of the “traditions” that no longer serve you and maybe wondering just how to break the news to the significant others on your world.

Here are some guidelines:

  1. Do take some time for reflection on what exactly you no longer enjoy and also what you do enjoy about this time of year.
  2. Make a list of all the positive memories from years past and decide what memories you would like to create this year.
  3. Remove all anger from your heart when you begin to craft a new way to achieve new memories.
  4. Invite your family for a cup of coffee/tea/eggnog and tell ( not explain) what you’d like to do differently this year.
  5. Ask for questions from everyone. Listen to all the questions before you answer any.
  6. Craft your responses with love and support for what they maybe feeling all the while standing firmly in the respect and honor that you have for yourself.
  7. Allow them all of their feelings. Do not tell them how to think.
  8. Keep smiling.
  9. Ask if anyone has ideas for new traditions.
  10. Help the younger members of the family to think up some traditions of their own.

For some more information on how to reduce stress this holiday, listen below to my interview with Koren Motekaitis on balance.

[audio:IndraniKoren09.mp3]

Keep focused on the MEMORIES you WANT and stay away from the memories from the past that you do not want.

Love and Light

Peace and Joy

Indrani

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