Going BIG and Going Small

UntitledOn a recent flight from Trinidad, after doing my TEDxPortOfSpain talk in October, (watch my talk here: bit.ly/1OGFcX5) I saw the movie, “Ant Man.”  I am not usually a fan of these superhero movies, but my brain was tired and I decided to watch.

There were tons of great computer graphics, no gratuitous sex or badly behaved teenagers… just an old fashioned action movie with a good old-fashioned ending, where the blended family lives happily ever after.  Okay, it was formulaic and predictable and I do not really recommend it.

Here is what I DID enjoy.  Ant Man can move from “BIG” to “small,” and each size has its drawbacks and gifts.  The best thing about being “small” is that the strengths don’t get smaller. They stay the same.

So just like an ant can lift many times its body weight, Ant Man has amazing strength and can do amazing things even when small so he is still a formidable opponent.
When he is his usual size, his powers are ramped up and he is the hero we want him to be.

Here is what I took away from Ant Man.  We can choose to play big or play small and it needs to be our choice. When we choose to play small we still need to bring all of our skills to the stage.

Recently I was on a panel of six people, all of whom had their specialty jobs. The panel consisted of a judge, a police sergeant, a district attorney, etc.  We were all there acting as one body and we all had small jobs in support of that one body.  We each showed up as one hundred percent of our larger selves even as we treaded lightly, and did not hog the microphone.  None of us felt like we had all the answers.

We had never met each other and I was so proud of how we played nicely together.
Any one of us could have been plucked out from that panel and been asked to do an hour presentation to the audience and we would have stepped up.

I like going from big stages to smaller stages, it helps me to practice my skills in different ways.

While speaking at the United Nations, and on the TEDxPortOfSpain stage, I played to a global audience. My thoughts were more encompassing and I used imagery that could resonate with a more expansive audience. I was introduced in a formal way and some of my achievements were read out loud. The audience in those venues wanted the bigger picture of me.

I also had the great fortune to speak on a much smaller stage at my high school Alma Mater, and when I heard how I was being introduced, I realized that the kids did not need that version of me.  They needed to hear I used to be “one of them.” They needed to know that my “big,” started “small” and they needed to resonate with my small.

When I began to speak I said this to them:  “Those words are things I have done over the past 35 years but I am really just a big eye coolie girl.” I could see them relax. They understood that term. “Coolie” is a derogatory term for people of East Indian descent in Trinidad. That was a phrase they had heard and could digest.

It resonated.

From that small position I began the story …. and I built on it to get bigger and bigger, and told them they could do it also.  I ended with reminding them I was still a big eye coolie girl and I always remember my humble beginnings.

The ability to move between big and small is something we humans can do, and it helps us to stay grounded. It helps us to know that our heroes, whom we hold in high regard, also put on their pants one leg at a time.

My question to you is this… How big are you when you are small?  Stay strong and use your “big” to your advantage, and help people accept you for all the talent you bring to the party.

 
Love and light,

Indrani

Brighter Life Bit #30: How can you use P.E.R.M.A. to manage Self-Care?

ILF_Wtagline_Logo rgbWelcome to this Brighter Life Bit #30.  For this lesson, you can listen to the original teaching at the 31:30 minute mark of the Class 5 recording. You can download the audio from the ILF website here.

What does P.E.R.M.A. stand for?  How can it impact your well-being and give you a restorative practice?

Exercise:Take out your journal.  Please write down what you are doing right now. How does this activity connect to one (or more than one) of the five buckets of P.E.R.M.A?

Examples:

  • Volunteering – Meaining and Purpose
  • Reading a book – Positive Emotions
  • Working on a special project – Engagement
  • Cooking dinner for friends – Relationship to Others
  • Doing art – Achievement

 

Now think of a place in your life where you can introduce P.E.R.M.A.  

Share your experience with us.  What did you choose to do to practice self-care? Share your comments below this post.

Being vulnerable……

ILF_Wtagline_Logo rgbIndrani’s Light Foundation teaches a free workshop series called Live-A-Brigher-Life.  (You can listen to the free podcast series here.) In one of our lessons, “Finding Resilience,” we teach you how to ask for help, and that being vulnerable can free your shame, humiliation, guilt, or embarrassment.  We also teach Brené Brown’s strong belief in the power of empathy, and how you can understand another person’s feelings.

Here is a short story recently told by Indrani that may help you understand.

Indrani was recently in New York City and finally got the opportunity to climb up to the crown of the Statue of Liberty.

Being vulnerable.

“This was the step count up to the Crown of lady liberty.

I sometimes get claustrophobia.

Half way up I could not breathe and started to freak out.

My dear friend, Eva, came down to me and started to help me breathe.
Big deep breaths.

My dear Erik started telling me about the firm construction of the statue.

My new friend Yuki stayed close and was ready to support my ascent.

3 amazing people when I needed them.

I made it with a smile on my face.

I am so grateful.

The lesson?

Ask for help.

Accept the help.

Be grateful for angels around.”

 How does this story resonate with you?  Would you ask for help from trusted friends in this scenario? Or would you have tried to “tough it through” and suffered the entire way up the stairway?  These three friends came to Indrani’s aid with empathy and with no judgment.

Maybe the story is different for you.  Who can you reach out to if you are being abused?

A parent? 

A best friend? 

A counselor?

A religious community member?

A sibling?

A coach?

Who is trustworthy, nonjudgmental, and patient?  Who can you entrust with your story?  Reach out to them today.  Not tomorrow, not next week….. but today.  Speak your shame.  Speak your truth.  It’s time to feel safe again, don’t you think?

If you, or someone you know need resources to get help, have them visit our webpage at www.indranislight.org/resources/helpful-links/

 

 

Brighter Life Bit #29: What is Self-Care?

ILF_Wtagline_Logo rgbWelcome to this Brighter Life Bit #29. For this lesson, you can listen to the original teaching at the 24 minute mark of the Class 5 recording. You can download the audio from the ILF website here.

What is the definition of Self-Care? And what is the intention?

Exercise: Take out your journal. Write down 3 things you can do EVERY day to practice self care.

Examples: Take a walk
Ask a family member to cook dinner
Meditate/pray
Go to tea with a friend

“Doing Self-Care is preventative medicine…”
~ Andrea J. Lee | Indrani’s Light Foundation Goodwill Ambassador

Share your experience with us. What did you choose to do to practice self-care? Share your comments below this post.

Indrani’s “Orange the World” Video Message: Day 16

Here is Indrani’s “Day 16” personal “call to action” video message to you, as we continue to support the UN Women’s “Orange the World” campaign to end violence against women and girls.

This is Indrani’s final “Orange the World” video message with Day 16 of activism upon us.  But we must continue gender activism.  What is “gender activism” you ask? Indrani defines it here …. take a look!

Please share this video on social media!

Let’s END violence against women and girls together!

“ORANGE THE WORLD”

Follow us on Twitter @indranis_light #orangetheworld #16days

Indrani’s “Orange the World” Video Message: Day 15

Here is Indrani’s “Day 15” personal “call to action” video message to you, as we continue to support the UN Women’s “Orange the World” campaign to end violence against women and girls.

Indrani wants to remind us that we may be “small rocks” in the world …. but we can get together and make a rock wall to hold up the world, and end violence against women and girls!  Take a look!

Please share this video on social media!

Let’s END violence against women and girls together!

“ORANGE THE WORLD”

Follow us on Twitter @indranis_light #orangetheworld #16days

Indrani’s “Orange the World” Video Message: Day 14

Here is Indrani’s “Day 14” personal “call to action” video message to you, as we continue to support the UN Women’s “Orange the World” campaign to end violence against women and girls.

Indrani wants to remind you that if anyone expects you to be silent about things that have happened to you, then they are not your friend.  Brené Brown says that telling your story, ends the shame.  Take a look!

Please share this video on social media!

Let’s END violence against women and girls together!

ORANGE THE WORLD

Follow us on Twitter @indranis_light #orangetheworld #16days

Indrani’s “Orange the World” Video Message: Day 13

Here is Indrani’s “Day 13” personal “call to action” video message to you, as we continue to support the UN Women’s “Orange the World” campaign to end violence against women and girls.

Indrani doesn’t know how to scale a rock wall, but she could learn!  Her “call to action” today is to learn how to end violence.  We can learn to scale this huge obstacle…. take a look!

Please share this video on social media!

Let’s END violence against women and girls together!

“ORANGE THE WORLD”

Follow us on Twitter @indranis_light #orangetheworld #16days

Indrani’s “Orange the World” Video Message: Day 12

Here is Indrani’s “Day 12” personal “call to action” video message to you, as we continue to support the UN Women’s “Orange the World” campaign to end violence against women and girls.

Indrani is traveling in Europe and heard about another mass shooting in San Bernardino, CA.  Take a look at her “call to action.”

Please share this video on social media!

Let’s END violence against women and girls together!

“ORANGE THE WORLD”

Follow us on Twitter @indranis_light #orangetheworld #16days

Indrani’s “Orange the World” Video Message: Day 11

Here is Indrani’s “Day 11” personal “call to action” video message to you, as we continue to support the UN Women’s “Orange the World” campaign to end violence against women and girls.

Indrani’s “Call to Action” for today is how to find a way to make “non-violence” as powerful as violence seems to be.  Take a look …..

Please share this video on social media!

Let’s END violence against women and girls together!

“ORANGE THE WORLD”

Follow us on Twitter @indranis_light #orangetheworld #16days