Heat stability, the power to thrive under pressure.

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I love having conversations with professionals in different fields of study. One such exchange was with a few chemical engineers, who were explaining to me about chemicals that are heat sensitive or heat stable.

This definition of chemical stability comes from Wikipedia: Chemical stability when used in the technical sense in chemistry, means thermodynamic stability of a chemical system.[1]

Thermodynamic stability occurs when a system is in its lowest energy state, or chemical equilibrium with its environment. This may be a dynamic equilibrium, where individual atoms or molecules change form, but their overall number in a particular form is conserved. This type of chemical thermodynamic equilibrium will persist indefinitely unless the system is changed. Chemical systems might include changes in the phase of matter or a set of chemical reactions.

The instances of abusers going completely crazy  and killing the individuals that they are blaming for the fury makes me think of chemicals that are NOT stable.

Abusers are NOT stable people. We never know when they will fly off in a rage, and decide that they must take drastic action and kill and maim people.

I am not an expert on what happens inside the body when people are in rage.

I am willing to guess that they feel like they MUST react and must react fast. They may feel like the other people are “winning” but if asked they probably cannot even verbalize what the game is that the other is winning!

How can we encourage abusers to learn to be heat stable?

How can we teach them that THEY are the only ones in control of their own behaviors?

How can we empower abusers who have not had any training in self management to be able to manage themselves?

We must start with YOUNG people. We must start in schools. We MUST at least START.

Here at Indranis Light, we have started. We have FREE classes.

Here is the link: http://www.liveabrighterlife.eventbrite.com/

Send the link to someone who is suffering from abuse.

Send the link to the young people in your life.

Send the link to women whom you suspect  are suffering and oppressed.

Do SOMETHING that will cost you nothing. Send the link.

If you are afraid that your friend may never again speak to you, take the chance anyway.

Take the chance. Do something. Send the link.

Here is the link again.

http://www.liveabrighterlife.eventbrite.com/

We are on iTunes. We are FREE on iTunes.

Please do something.

 
Love and light,
Indrani

Brighter Life Bit #11: Accommodate, Attack, Avoid, OR just say NO…

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ILF_Wtagline_Logo copyYou can listen to the original teaching at the 14 minute mark of the Class 2 recording. You can download the audio from iTunes here or from the ILF website here.

According to William Ury in “The Power of a Positive No” instead of saying “No” you are most likely doing one of the following:

Accommodating: instead of saying no you accommodate the other person’s request, and in doing so lose your power.

Attacking: instead of saying no you get upset and attack the other person, and in doing so lose relationship.

Avoid: instead of saying no, you avoid the entire situation, resulting in a loss of power and relationship.

Which of the three “A’s” is your biggest substitute for saying “No”?

Once you clearly identify your accommodate, attack, avoid tendencies you are better prepared to start saying “No”

A message from Indrani for International Women’s Day…..

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Sunday, March 8th is International Women’s Day.

Click below to listen to a special message from our Founder, Indrani Goradia.

Click here to play video…

 

Untitled

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How will you celebrate women all over the world? Let us know in the comment section below!

Celebrating YOU!

 

Love & light,

Team ILF

 

LABL 013: Losing and Finding Everything

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ILF_Wtagline_Logo copyWelcome to Episode #13 of the Live a Brighter Life Podcast!

In this episode of the Live a Brighter Life Podcast Indrani and Janine Shepherd discuss:

  • what happens when you don’t heed your heart call
  • the importance of modeling
  • the difference between joy and happiness and why you want one more than the other
  • what are the things you can never lose and why they are so important
  • how you can lose everything and find everything at the same time
  • the way you live your life is your message

You can also watch Janine’s Ted Talk “A Broken Body Isn’t a Broken Person”

You can learn more about Janine and her message at her website www.janineshepherd.com

Podcast Recording

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Kids on Mindfulness…..Just Breathe

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We could all learn a thing or two from these kids.

 

Watch as they describe what happens when they start to feel angry and then what they do to control the emotion.

 

Our future is so bright. 

 

 

Love & light,

 

Team ILF

Brighter Life Bit #10: A quick way to know if your “Yes” is going to cause trouble

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ILF_Wtagline_Logo copyYou can listen to the original teaching at the 5 minute mark of the Class 2 recording. You can download the audio from iTunes here or from the ILF website here.

Here is one quick, and easy to use tool, that you can use to identify when your “Yes” is a mistake, and you should probably be saying “No”:

When you do something quickly to relieve emotional pressure it is usually not the right answer.

Think back to the most recent “no” you should have said:

What emotional pressures were you trying to avoid by saying “yes”? Do these same emotional pressures come up repeatedly when you think of all of the “no’s” you have recently turned into “yeses”?

What to give up for lent….it’s not what you think.

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Mother-in-lawThe days between Ash Wednesday and Easter Sunday marks the Lenten season for Christians.

Many people “give up” something for lent. Many stop eating sweets or stop drinking or some other behavior modification.

Few people give up “being nasty” to others.

That maybe be too harsh a thing to say, but it needs to be said.

I recently met a woman whose son was getting married and she “asked” to go to the bridal dress shopping expedition. The future daughter in law was nice enough to take her along. When the bride found the perfect dress, she asked the mother in law what she thought and the response was… “It’s not to my liking.”

The bride went ballistic and shouted at the mother in law that it was NOT her wedding.

As I was listening to this story, I wondered why the mother in law was not giving up something other than sweets for lent.

She was so ferociously attacking the bride-to-be and calling her names to whom ever was listening, like “hoochie” that it was very hard to be sympathetic to her hurt feelings.

Personally, I know what the bride felt like. When I was getting married, none of the saris that I wanted were “good enough” for my future in laws.

Luckily, I was quite stubborn, and with the help of my future husband I got exactly what I wanted.

Parenting is hard at all ages and when kids are grown up enough to start their own families we all get to enter a new stage of parenting. This time we get to try to be nurturing to complete strangers whom our children have chosen.

We have to give up judgments of what they should or should not do.

We have to help the young people to sort through their own lives.

This is the only way forward into a new stage of non aggression with the new family member.

I wished this women would give up bad mouthing her future daughter-in-law for lent instead of cookies and candies.

I believe that I suggested she give up negative thinking instead of sweets and she said that it would be too difficult.

Is that not the idea for lent? To make a sacrifice that smarts a little?

So what have you given up for lent? Let us know in the comment section below.

Make the sacrifice count. Make the sacrifice make you a better person.
Love and light,
Indrani

Choosing to GROW or to SHRINK…..

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BalanceRocksSea-e1366181562699-37055_639x375The week was a doozie for me personally.

I started out the week with some disappointments, then got some great news and then some greater news, then was able to witness the pain of another while holding space for them.

And all of a sudden I realized that through all the ups and downs I had lost my roots.

I allowed myself to get SWEPT away by whatever news was floating around me.

I forgot that I was in charge of MY emotional health.

It was quite a shock to me, because I have been more rooted than not these past few years.  Took my rooting for granted. I forgot that I had to continuously strengthen the roots for them to stay strong.

It is like lifting weights and when you stop, the muscles get lazy and you have to start all over again.

I forgot to devote more time to meditation and to yoga and to silence.

I have been ON for weeks in a row and forgot that I needed time away from everything.

I became intoxicated with the numbers on my pedometer and started to believe that the numbers mean more than numbers.

The result was that in a matter of a few weeks I was thrown from emotional pillar to crushing post and I have the bruises to show.

I realized that I was out of alignment.

This misalignment was not a spinal condition, it was a spiritual condition.

The only course of action was to STOP and BE in the moment.

I dug out one of my favorite spiritual reads, The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho.

I began to devote time to inner inquiry and intuitive push-ups.

I began to ALIGN myself with my values again.

I offer you the simple formula below to help you to remember how to regain Alignment.

ALIGN
A… Always
L…lean into your
I…intuitive
G…growth
N…NO to giving your power away.

You can begin to ask yourself what it means to give your power away.

You can give it away in many ways.

You can believe that other people must do certain things to make you happy.

They must have lunch or dinner with you.

They must call you every other day or ask you certain questions that show they really care.

If you can come up with a list of people who have affronted you and it brings up a lot of hurt then there is a good chance you have given some power away. They are still controlling your feelings. You must de tangle from their grasp.

When you are in alignment, you can feel hurt without having the hurt bring you to your emotional knees. You can separate from the event in question and begin to recapture all of you.

The pieces that felt hurt and wounded will begin to heal and bloom.

It may take a few moments to begin the process of healing, it is worth the time you will invest.

If you do not choose to heal, you choose to keep hurting.

Give this a try will you?

 

Love & light,

Indrani

Are Statistics Killing the Fight Against Gender Based Violence?

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sad-girl-236769_128030% of women who have been in a relationship report that they have experienced some form of violence by their partner…

OR

… 2 weeks after getting married Alice’s husband began telling her that she was worth nothing, no one else would ever want her, and she was lucky that he had decided to marry her. Alice finally decided to leave, 20 years later, when her husband got angry and put his fist through the wall, missing her head by inches.

38% of murders of women are committed by an intimate partner…

OR

… Ellen did not have dinner ready when her husband came home one night. He went to the shed, retrieved an axe, entered the home, and proceeded to assault his wife with the axe putting her in the hospital with multiple injuries. Years later, when Ellen’s husband was released from jail, Ellen took him back into her home to continue their life together.

Statistics or stories.

Which has a greater impact? Which makes the situation of Gender Based Violence feel more real to those who are not directly involved?

What if all of the numbers being collected, compiled, and shared, are not only, not the answer, to ending Gender Based Violence, but are part of the problem?

Numbers make things less messy, more sterile, something to read, then nod your head, perhaps making a “tsking” sound before moving on with your day. Or, even worse, numbers can be something that are misunderstood or used to minimize a problem:

“30% of women, well that is less than half of all women, so should we really be throwing more money at this problem?”

“Stats show that the number hasn’t been increasing over the years, so it isn’t a growing problem”

One of the most impactful events in the past year on Gender Based Violence awareness was not a new percentage of people affected, it was Ray Rice punching his girlfriend in the head on camera.

From Statistics to Stories

What if, instead of using calculated numbers, the fight against Gender Based Violence focused more on telling stories?

Instead of a sterile stat spoken in a news clip, 365 personal stories were collected from women about their personal experience with Gender Based Violence, and one of these stories was spoken (and witnessed) on the news every night?

What if, instead of compiling a stat like 30% of women, actual real time numbers were tracked to provide a clearer story? A website or phone number that abused women could visit or call and quickly register that they were just abused, creating an ongoing tally of how serious this problem is.

30% is a stat, knowing that on Monday 10,000 women had reported being abused, but by Tuesday 11,250 women had been abused helps numbers tell a story that people can better understand and take action on.

What if, we stop letting the numbers distance us from the problem and start to live these experiences with the women suffering on a day to day basis?

Could a focus on stories instead of statistics make a big difference in the goal of eliminating Gender Based Violence?