Tag Archives: addiction

I want a new drug….

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Huey Lewis and the News sang that back in the 80’s.
needles via themiamihurrican.com
I want a new drug.
I have let certain people in my life be my drug of choice. I took people into my life that affected me like a narcotic.

Shoot up with one person and if they were happy, then I felt euphoric.
Shoot me up with another person and if they were sad, I felt sadness.
A fix of an angry person and I became paranoid and riddled with anxiety.

Once I realized that these people had this narcotic-type affect on me and what was happening to me when I was around them, I knew I had to stop.

Quitting cold turkey is hard.

Withdrawal sets in and the cravings begin.

I found myself using again.  Just a little time with this person, a text, an email, a short call….I can handle it.  It won’t hurt. I have it under control. It won’t affect me. Then I’m back on the streets again….hanging out with people who had such a bad effect on me.

When I was clean from these people, I felt lighter and truly happier. I found myself a little sad that I could not spend time with them, but certainly a healthier person for it.

Those people who so wanted me to take them into my life are still out there and I am aware of the negative affects they have on me.
I see text messages and voice mails and those old feelings of “I can just do a little bit, maybe this trip will be different, I can control myself,” creep up my spine.

I quickly delete messages and emails, anything that could entice me. It’s like flushing drugs down the toilet to prevent from taking them.

I am addicted to leading a happy, purposeful life and choose not to be an emotional slave to those around me.
It’s not always easy but it is worth the effort.
My new drug in life is me.

Are you addicted to certain people? What effect do they have on you?

Can you break free?

We are THEY…

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In the book I Thought It Was Just Me…(but it isn’t), Dr. Brene Brown cautions us to not divide the world into US and THEY.

We have all experienced loss, addictions, failures, etc. To draw a random line around the mistakes that THEY make VS the mistakes the WE make makes no sense.
The only thing it does is keep us separated from seeing the other as being human and needing empathy and compassion just as much as we do.

How many groups of THEY do you recognize in your own life?
Different religions?
Different cultures?
Different side of the tracks?
Different skin color?
Different accents?
Different sexual orientations?

The list of THEY is endless, isn’t it?

Does the list make you feel safe?
Does the list allow you to stereotype more easily?
Does the list allow you to be a better bully?

Can you ever be SURE that the beliefs you hold about all the groups of THEY are true?
If you cannot prove it, why continue to believe it?

Perhaps this week you can stick your toe into a shallow pool of a THEY group, perhaps you will find something quite surprising. Perhaps you will find someone who feels quite like you.
Someone who has fears like you.
Someone who loves and wants the best for their kids, much like you.
Someone who reads bedtime stories to their kids at night, like you.
Someone who has been betrayed by life, like you.
Someone who just wants to be understood, like you.

I hope you take a chance. I hope you are sweetly surprised.

Love and light,
Indrani