There are many events, challenges, and problems causing unsettled feelings these days. Whether you are feeling unsettled at work or at home, listen to this meditation and visualization from Indrani to help you balance these unsettled feelings.
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The week was a doozie for me personally.
I started out the week with some disappointments, then got some great news and then some greater news, then was able to witness the pain of another while holding space for them.
And all of a sudden I realized that through all the ups and downs I had lost my roots.
I allowed myself to get SWEPT away by whatever news was floating around me.
I forgot that I was in charge of MY emotional health.
It was quite a shock to me, because I have been more rooted than not these past few years. Took my rooting for granted. I forgot that I had to continuously strengthen the roots for them to stay strong.
It is like lifting weights and when you stop, the muscles get lazy and you have to start all over again.
I forgot to devote more time to meditation and to yoga and to silence.
I have been ON for weeks in a row and forgot that I needed time away from everything.
I became intoxicated with the numbers on my pedometer and started to believe that the numbers mean more than numbers.
The result was that in a matter of a few weeks I was thrown from emotional pillar to crushing post and I have the bruises to show.
I realized that I was out of alignment.
This misalignment was not a spinal condition, it was a spiritual condition.
The only course of action was to STOP and BE in the moment.
I dug out one of my favorite spiritual reads, The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho.
I began to devote time to inner inquiry and intuitive push-ups.
I began to ALIGN myself with my values again.
I offer you the simple formula below to help you to remember how to regain Alignment.
ALIGN
A… Always
L…lean into your
I…intuitive
G…growth
N…NO to giving your power away.
You can begin to ask yourself what it means to give your power away.
You can give it away in many ways.
You can believe that other people must do certain things to make you happy.
They must have lunch or dinner with you.
They must call you every other day or ask you certain questions that show they really care.
If you can come up with a list of people who have affronted you and it brings up a lot of hurt then there is a good chance you have given some power away. They are still controlling your feelings. You must de tangle from their grasp.
When you are in alignment, you can feel hurt without having the hurt bring you to your emotional knees. You can separate from the event in question and begin to recapture all of you.
The pieces that felt hurt and wounded will begin to heal and bloom.
It may take a few moments to begin the process of healing, it is worth the time you will invest.
If you do not choose to heal, you choose to keep hurting.
Give this a try will you?
Love & light,
Indrani
Click on the image below to find out if I let my fear stop me from walking this cantilever bridge….
A while ago, while listening to Barack Obama, I heard him describe a relationship (not with Michelle) as one that was solidly transactional and polite.
He knew and understood exactly what kind of relationship that was. The way I understood it was that when things were discussed he did not say things like ” that FEELS great, or that MAKES me HAPPY.”
Emotions were OUT of this equation and both parties understood that.
To put the transactional relationship out into the light, think Pretty Women. It started out as a transaction and then she wants a relationship. It took him a while but eventually the arrangement changed.
I have read that successful pimps prey on young women and start off with the lure of a relationship, then when the young girls think they have a real boyfriend…..the pimps beat them, rape them and turn the arrangement into the transaction it was always meant to be.
I have been thinking about marriage and have been wondering if perhaps the high rates of divorce might be due to the fact that we do not know the difference between transaction and relation based relationships.
A wife who complains that her husband is always at work, travels too much and is never available is complaining that the relationship is suffering. The man may be very confused as he is providing a house and cars and lifestyle and does not understand what she wants from him. He is seeing the transactional side of the arrangement.
How can people on two different sides move towards the center?
I think a good place to start is with shared filling in the blanks of “What’s missing here?”
If the wife says her piece and says that time with husband is missing and intimacy and friendship it is a start.
If the husband says nothing is missing and he is happy at work and just wants to be the provider, there is an insight into the size of the divide.
I knew of a couple who went on vacation once, and while he played golf everyday she drank and sat by the pool.
She did NOT want to spend more time with him and HE was happy with that arrangement. They saw each other the same amount of time while on vacation as they did at home.
The only difference is that they slept in a hotel room.
This transactional vacation worked for them, he bought the vacation package and she used it.
We don’t get to complain about the type of arrangement we have if we are not courageous enough to open it up and ask questions.
If you are in a relationship that feels like it needs to be changed, ask “What’s missing for me here?”
Journal about this question as many times as you need to. Look at your answers.
Make a list of the things that are missing.
Then begin to see what YOU can provide for yourself.
This may not be the answer you want, but when you can provide the elements of life you want for yourself than you can begin to fill in the other elements with your partner.
Love and light,
Indrani
If you should see a sign above a beautiful doorway in a lovely building that reads Department of Emotions, you may be curious.
You may enter cautiously, with glee or maybe with anxiety. Let’s assume that you do enter and begin to look around.
Within this department, you may find floor upon floor of beautiful offices with open doors and nicely dressed people working away.
These employees have the job of dispensing emotions to the whole world. They actually love their jobs.
The way they do it is that they get telegraphic requests and they dispatch emotions at the speed of light.
You want Joy? Done.
Gratitude? Yes, lots being dispensed these days.
You look around some more and realize that some employees are sitting still, making no movement with no work to do.
You look at their titles and there seems to be a theme….Bliss, Ecstasy, Passion and you wonder why.
Then you wander some more and see some employees over-burdened, just dragging and stressed and you glance at their titles.
You see another theme…
Anger
Rage
Hatred
You ask them why they are so exhausted and they don’t even have time to look up or answer you.
One of the other employees, the one called Ecstasy, tells you that some emotions are overused and the guys dispensing them cannot catch a break. No time for rest or sleep. No one seems to be taking breaks from fits of anger, rants full if rage or blinding hatred.
Then you begin to realize that you too have overused some emotions and woefully underused others.
You cannot remember the last time you telegraphed for Bliss or Passion and forget about Ecstasy.
Dear reader,
I know that this blog is way out there. I hope that it gives you pause to consider which emotions you over use and which others you ignore.
I encourage you to use less anger and rage and use more of joy, bliss and passion.
Find something to be passionate about…a hobby or a cause.
Find Joy in the everyday stuff, even little things like the gift of sight or the ability to still climb stairs.
I believe it was Albert Einstein who said we can behave as if nothing is a miracle, or as if everything is a miracle.
Let’s live the miracles that are all around us.
Love and light,
Indrani
I have JUST returned from a LONG journey.
I have been on the road for almost 18 days and my body felt the effects of always being UP and AWARE and OPEN.
I need some time to be DOWN and INTROSPECTIVE and CLOSED.
I need to be closed to the outer world and open to me.
What happens when we to give too much to others?
We have less to keep for ourselves.
We must strike a never ending balance to the outer and the inner world.
This Holiday season makes giving the norm.
I ask you to save some of the giving for yourself.
Save some of the awareness of what others need for being aware of what you need.
It may mean saying a NO to yet another gathering.
It may mean saying YES to being still and listening to the aches and pains of your body.
ONLY you can decide this.
Take some time to sort out where you are investing your precious energy.
Love and light,
Indrani
Make some fun in your life….HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!
Don’t let shame eat you out of house and home…..
Compare yourself ONLY to your best self….
Have you ever sailed?
I used to sail a little as a teenager in Trinidad. A friend had a catamaran and a whole load of us would go out on the weekend.
Life was simple then!
Some of the things I remember from sailing is that someone would be in charge of the rudder and someone would be in charge of the sail. When the two worked together, the sailing was smooth and sweet. When the two started to argue, I was always losing my balance and falling overboard. For some reason, my two mates were always the same two loggerheads; Ray G. and Noel M. were their real names. I want them to know I remember that they were not always the best sailors in the world!
Good thing we are still friends and can have a good laugh now.
Remembering those days of treading water, endlessly, in the ocean, while Ray and Noel yelled at each other that it was the other’s fault, made me think of how I handled the situation.
I never yelled at the ocean, I always yelled at Ray and Noel, who in turn always laughed at me!
Last week as I was coaching someone, I heard myself say to her, “Stop Yelling at the Ocean!”
What did I mean?
This is what I meant….
When we begin to obsess that our life situations are someone else’s fault, we are yelling at the ocean.
When we find ourselves on high emotional seas and we forget how to use our sails (past lessons and personal responsibility for our own happiness) and our rudders (strengths and positive self talk) we blame the ocean for overturning our boats and for upending our lives.
If you find yourself wishing that OTHERS had acted differently and you wished that THEY would just do ______ (fill in the blank)_____ so that you could FINALLY get on with your life…..You are Yelling at the OCEAN!
Oceans do not have ears.
Oceans do not have feelings.
Oceans are there to help you to navigate to someplace else.
Have you caught yourself yelling at your oceans recently?
STOP!
Use all that energy to chart a new course and find good sailors to help you.
Ray and Noel if you guys ever read this, I still love you and I’m glad we had so much fun together. And know that I’m still treading water!
Love and light,
Indrani