Welcome to Episode #8 of the Live a Brighter Life Podcast!
In this episode of the Live a Brighter Life Podcast Indrani does what she does best: tell important stories. You will learn:
Podcast Recording
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There once was a shepherd boy who was bored as he sat on the hillside watching the village sheep. To amuse himself he took a great breath and sang out, “Wolf! Wolf! The Wolf is chasing the sheep!”
The villagers came running up the hill to help the boy drive the wolf away. But when they arrived at the top of the hill, they found no wolf. The boy laughed at the sight of their angry faces.
He does this a couple more times and as the story goes….
Later, he saw a REAL wolf prowling about his flock. Alarmed, he leaped to his feet and sang out as loudly as he could, “Wolf! Wolf!”
But the villagers thought he was trying to fool them again and so they didn’t come.
I remind you of this story, because in my own way I have cried wolf. Unlike the shepherd boy, however, I was not lying about the wolf.
The wolf in my life was depression. In my cry of wolf (which came out as cries of pain, tears, sadness) loved ones came for a while and I was heard but quickly dismissed because they could not see the wolf.
The wolf was always lurking. My cries took the forms of chronic stuttering, pacing, insomnia, weight-loss and these all compounded my tears and my pain. People could see signs of trouble but no one saw the wolf so they turned away.
Then the wolf, chewing on me, was devouring me and my life. I made the final cries that I wanted to die. “Help me! Can’t you see I want to die?” And yet the ones who I thought loved me the most were deaf to my pleas. Worse yet, those who heard me held me in contempt.
I never lied about the wolf in my life.
As the little shepherd boy cried out to get attention, yes I did too. The attention I needed was in the form of help.
If someone you know is crying out for attention, they may have the wolf known as depression in their life. Take time to look through the trees to see if they have wolves in the shadows and are in need of help.
Don’t turn away from a cry for help.
It is the loneliest feeling in the world when you reach out to those you love for help and they walk away.
A dear friend, Keisha Gallegos compiled this list of strategies for dealing with depression and we want to share it with the world. Please share if you know someone struggling with depression. We hope it helps.
First of all, if you are not functioning well or if it takes an inordinate amount of energy to get even the smallest task accomplished- medication. Be evaluated by a psychiatrist. That’s their specialty.
If you don’t like the first one you see, go see a different one. The first medication you try may not work, I had to try several before I got one that worked well.
In my opinion, untreated depression is much worse than possible side affects from medication. Your body can’t heal when you are depressed. That should tell us how debilitating depression is physically.
Later when you are stabilized, you can consider how long staying on medication is right for you. Sometimes it’s for a few months, maybe a few years, possibly for the rest of your life.
Second, therapy.
Deal with the shit you have been repressing your entire life. Take it out, look at it, and feel your feelings. The fear of dealing with it is far worse than actually dealing with it, I promise you.
You don’t have to lay on a couch for 40 years contemplating your belly button- that’s ridiculous. Try a large and regular dose of self compassion.
When you are good and sick of your own story, possibly try coaching. Coaching works because it teaches you good mental health hygiene.
Learn what your triggers are. For me, I don’t watch the news- it’s a distorted view of the world- focusing on the negative and magnifying it to astronomical proportions. Our nervous systems are not made to handle the details of every single heinous atrocity committed on every corner of the globe.
I make sure I eat well and sleep enough. I don’t hang out with people that treat me badly or make me doubt my sanity- even if they are family.
I protect my energy like the queen guards the crown jewels and I infuse my life with positivity.
Put together a box where you put in a note of every single thing you remember that makes you happy. When you are depressed, you can’t remember what makes you feel better so have something readily available. Have a happy playlist. Learn to detach from painful thought patterns that create suffering. Practice random acts of kindness, read good news, cuddle with pets, go for a walk, spend time in the sunshine for vitamin D, make yourself go to gatherings where you feel loved.
Don’t retreat. Keep involving yourself in life.
Do things that feed your spirit.
Most of all, treat depression as the serious disorder that it is. Medicate it if you need to and don’t be ashamed of it. You are not weak or ungrateful.
I’ll never forget when I went on medication and I was doing some self shaming about “needing” it. I asked my sister what people did before anti-depressants, and she said, “They drank, Keisha. Take the meds.”
Guest post by Keisha Gallegos
It is amazing how profoundly touched I have been by the death of Robin Williams.
Yes, he was brilliant, funny and an amazing man who touched many….but he was a person just like you and me.
Beyond the sadness of his loss is a pain in my heart because I KNOW the desperation he felt as he stood in his depression on the precipice of life and death.
For those who have never stood on that ledge, the tragic concept to end ones life is horrible yet it seems so rational to those of us who have teetered on that cliff.
There is an overwhelming sense of hopelessness and the option of death appears to be a choice of true freedom.
It’s a decision of surrendering. We have put up a good fight, but now have no more fight in us to keep going.
It is a black or white option, torment or peace.
Unfortunately, millions of people in the world who suffer from depression understand too well what he may have felt in the final hours and moments of his life.
My heart aches today for those who loved him but also for the millions of souls who stand alone on the precipice each and every day.
Please, if you suffer from depression, know that there are options.
It sometimes can be hard to take even the smallest step towards help but even the small step can bring you closer to a better way of life.
#depressionawareness
PS: If someone you know or love struggles with depression, do not dismiss them. Listen, love and help.
Answer me oh my love, just what sin have I been guilty of?
Won’t you tell me where I’ve lost your love?
Please answer me sweetheart.
This was one of my father’s favorite songs by Nat King Cole. I know all the words.
The other day the song popped into my head and I had a whole new appreciation of the first two lines. If you can hear these words coming out of the mouth of an abused woman you will understand where I am going with this post.
Imagine you are looking at a movie, there is a couple that is wildly in love and after an amazing courtship they have a great marriage. A few years into the marriage, she is being picked apart…at first, just little stuff like the way she combs her hair or the way she laughs out loud. The things that were engaging and cute now become irritating.
She begins to see herself as “not good enough” for him anymore.
Isolation begins to set in. She feels isolated from him, from her friends and family and from herself.
She begins to feel inferior to him and others.
She may begin to self diagnose as “crazy” or “hysterical” and she accepts the pathologies and looks for confirmation that she is sick.
She gets diagnosed by a mental health professional as “depressed” and begins medication. Things at home never change for the better. In fact, things get worse because even though she may be feeling better inside the outside nit picking does not let up.
By now, the situation at home may have escalated to physical abuse and sexual abuse.
Now she feels really bad and even more depressed!
She begins to hate herself and the only way she can dispel the self hatred and pain is to turn on other women and judge and gossip. She begins to look for people worse off than her and she feels relief from the judgment.
As an observer of the movie, it is sad to see her life get so messed up so quickly. As an observer you want to shout to her tell her to get out!
It’s easy to see when others are being sidelined and abused. It is not so easy to see it in ourselves.
If any piece of this scenario applies to you, take a moment to look at the whole movie about how it got to this point and follow your own advice… Get OUT!
Love and light,
Indrani