Tag Archives: disappointment

When people say NO to your passion… it’s ok!

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Learn-How-to-Say-No via blogs.psychcentralMany of you already know that my work is about serving abused women by providing free empowerment classes.

If you didn’t know just read a few more blogs and you’ll get the idea.

My dream is to blanket the world with trainers who will deliver my programs FOR FREE!

My dream is to train others FOR FREE and have them serve women who are ready to move out of their situations.

I always planned to cover expenses….but not pay for the trainer’s time.

I saw it as a way for others to be Philanthropists…not simply volunteers.

This was MY DREAM.

So, I started the training process. I invited my first group of amazing women and we began the journey of my dream.

Life, however, had other plans for some of these amazing women. One by one, they discovered that my dream was not their dream.

So far, I have less than ½ of the number with which we began.

The miracle here is this:

I AM NOT TAKING THIS PERSONALLY.

Actually, I am overjoyed for those who have found a different way to serve, as they are all doing.

They have found their own urgency and their own whisperings louder than those of my dream and for that I am grateful. I am happy to see them follow their own yellow brick road.

I honor and am grateful for the time they gave and hope that one day I can partake in their dream and support them, as they have done me.

What’s the lesson here?

The lesson is simple….if you are clear about your path then the HOW and the WHAT will show itself in good time. The feelings of anxiety and angst arrive when we try to make things fit the way we THINK they should fit.

So, the next time you feel discouraged about a dream falling apart, do these few things:

  1. Take time to breathe into the pain of loss.
  2. Allow yourself to feel the grief without anger to yourself or others.
  3. Respond with love…you LOVE this person, remember that!
  4. Ask them how you can be a cheerleader for them.
  5. Support their passions.

 

Disappointment is never easy to take and you can turn around the feelings of loss by focusing on your dream, not the other’s decision.

 

Love and light,

Indrani

Anatomy of Disappointment…..

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What happens to us when we feel disappointed? We know that we feel let down or ignored or invisible, and a host of many other feelings….but WHY?waiting via thinkstock
What causes me to feel so let down?
Something quite disappointing happened to me a few weeks ago and in the midst of a tsunami of feelings, I kept asking myself….
What is my lesson here?
I have to admit that I am sometimes sick of the lessons. Just when I think everything is fine, WHAM…another damn lesson!

Disappointment is usually a surprise. If it is not a surprise and you are expecting to be disappointed, that is a habitual way of living. If we are in relationships where we are usually disappointed, then that is more about the choices we are making, as opposed to what the other people are doing.

Let me break it down like this.
Let’s say that I make frequent lunch dates with Jackie and she is ALWAYS late and I am always disappointed. Why do I continue to make lunch dates with Jackie?
Maybe I need to ask Jackie if lunchtime is bad for her and decide on a better time.
Maybe Jackie really likes me and really wants to meet with me, but is afraid to suggest another time because she thinks I am super busy.
It is incumbent upon me to have a real conversation with Jackie so we can set up better times to meet.
If, however, Jackie laughs and tells me she is always late, then we have another issue.
I have had people tell me that they are always late and they laugh it off. I usually say that I find it rude and selfish for people to think that being late is “just the way it is.”

Disappointment is part of life and it is up to us to handle the everyday disappointments with finesse and humanity. We have to be able to forgive and get on with what’s important. If the disappointments keep piling on and they are from the same people, then you have to have a “powwow” to find out the root cause.

If you do nothing, nothing will change.
We are in charge of our lives and we teach people how to treat us.

Love & light,

Indrani