Tag Archives: end gender violence

A2A….Awareness to Action

December 20, 2014featured, homepageaction, awareness to action, be present, choices, end gender violence, gender violence, listen to your body, listen to your heart, self love, take action, youIndrani Goradia

I went to an AA meeting many years ago with a friend. AA stands for Alcoholics Anonymous.

There are meetings all over the world many times a day where people who are struggling with addiction have a safe place to speak about their struggles.

The meetings do require people who wish to speak to say their name and to say, “I am an Alcoholic.”

The simple power of this introduction leaves no room in the mind of the speaker or the listener about the challenges being faced.

I would like to borrow this concept but I want to call it A2A.

What would Awareness to Action look like?

It would begin with the uneasy feeling that something might be wrong.

How do I know that something may be wrong?

That’s the easy part.

We would be on edge, scared and not able to identify the fear, sick to our stomach, etc.

These would be signs that our body is giving us that STUFF is awry!

The easy thing to do here is to ignore the feelings of dis-ease and discomfort. That is what most people do. They push down all the whisperings that the body sends our way. The headache? A whisper! The nausea? A whisper? The inability to speak? A whisper.

Whispers are manifesting in our bodies everyday.

My idea of A2A, Awareness 2 Action, is to listen to the whispers. To allow the self to feel the discomfort.

If you allow the feeling to continue to whisper and to give up the wisdom you will be able to find a path through the challenge.

So the next time you find yourself feeling uncomfortable, ask yourself these simple questions:

What’s happening in my body?

What are my thoughts about what I am feeling?

If you can take your blood pressure to see if it’s elevated that will be a sign that something internal is off.

Use all the whispers of the body to inform how you will navigate the challenges.

The challenges will always come and its up to you to be aware of them and to take informed action.

Love and light,

Indrani

Using BREATH as a power tool…

December 13, 2014featured, homepagebreath, breathe deep, choices, domestic violence, end gender violence, gender violence, right action, take a deep breath, truthful speech, use your voice, youIndrani Goradia

Use your breath as a power tool….it’s free and it’s yours to use as you need.

I was wandering around Manhattan the other day and I was window shopping.

Suddenly I felt myself drawn to a store and wandered inside.

I began to look at some of the merchandise and struck up a conversation with the owner of the shop.

He limped over to his desk and I said, “What did you do to your leg?”

He limped back over to me and told me the story.

Here is the short version…

He was hit on the street by a car and it’s a neighbor and he is going to court in a few days to establish liability so he can file a damage suit.

He then began to rile himself up about how his wife really botched the deposition and he wanted to kill her for saying stupid things and I said “STOP.”

I began to ask questions about his trial and allowed him to blow off some steam.

I then asked, “Do you want me to help you to stay calm tomorrow on the stand?”

He said, “YES!”

The first thing I said was this, “I need you to keep angry thoughts about your wife OUT of your mind. What’s done is done. I need you to keep thinking good thoughts about her. I also need for you to stop thinking words like “crucify ” and “I’m done in” etc. When you are in court, use your breath to provide space between your responses. Do not spit out your answers like a dog who is panting. Take your time. If the judge says to hurry up, say you want to respond responsibly and truthfully.”

I do not know if he will take my advice but here’s what I do know. He may not have lambasted his wife as he was getting ready. He may hear my words in his head. I may have averted some very awful verbal abuse in their household when he went home.

Can I be sure?

Never. There is never an “I am sure.”

This is what I can be sure about. My mission is always present. I am always looking for an opportunity to guide. I was lead into that store and lead to that owner and I did what I do naturally.

When we are on mission, we are ALWAYS on mission.

Don’t leave your mission at home the next time you venture out. Take it with you.

Love & light,

Indrani

A lesson from our neighbors…..

November 22, 2014featured, homepagechoices, Compassion, courage, end gender violence, gender based violence, gender violence, life lessons, respect, right action, use your voiceIndrani Goradia

When we raise our voices in unison to support our competition it is the highest human connection.

Can we envision a day when everyone everywhere raises their voice to say,

“No More Violence against women! Ever!”

“No more abuse to children.”

I will continue to dream of this world.

No one told the Canadians to sing the US Anthem when the sound system broke. They JUST DID IT.

Please, let’s Just End Violence.

Let’s Be The Change.

Love & light,

Indrani

Technology helping to break the silence for abused women….

November 8, 2014featured, homepageask for help, break the silence, empower women, end GBV, end gender based violence, end gender violence, end the silence, gender based violence, gender violence, iClikIndrani Goradia

The new iClik machine allows victims of abuse to report gender violence crimes without risking being seen going to the police.

This piece of technology is empowering more women to take the first step in ending the cycle of abuse and that is a step in the right direction!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/11/03/india-abuse_n_6094678.html?utm_hp_ref=world&ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000010

Love & light,

Team ILF

Rape IS A CRIME!

October 18, 2014featured, homepageabuse, choices, courage, domestic violence, end gender violence, forced marriage, gender based violence, gender violence, rape, use your voiceIndrani Goradia

“Rape within marriage is not illegal in India which says everything about the position of women. We are donated for marriage rather than enter it as a partner. The ownership is with the man and whatever he does after marriage is acceptable”, said Ranjana Kumari, a women’s rights campaigner who lobbied members of parliament on the issue.

If the above statement does NOT grab you and make you feel like choking, I do not know what will.

That women are “donated” in marriage, to do with as the partner damn well pleases is both frightening and inhuman.

How can we enlighten our “educated” leaders who sit in Governments, in Courts and in Village councils everywhere to see and hear the inexcusable torture that is reflected in this statement?

If having mothers and sisters and daughters of their own is NOT enough to force the courts to take a tough stance or to force the responsible powers to change the laws what will?

Women will have to take to the streets in droves to demand the rights to their own bodies.

As it stands, there are NOT ENOUGH women for all the eligible males in India to marry and some of eligible men are lucky to get a wife.

On top of that, some of those LUCKY enough to have a wife, will mistreat her and torture her?

What must we do, say, to end such abominable behavior by these unthinking men?

I do not have the answers to these questions, BUT we must put our heads together and find some.

Please begin to try to answer these questions for yourself.

Love and light,

Indrani

Too little, too late…….

October 11, 2014featured, homepageabuse, child, children, choices, courage, end gender based violence, end gender violence, gender based violence, gender violence, love others, respect, right action, sexual assault, use your voice, violenceIndrani Goradia

Why does it take teen victims of sexual assault committing suicide for the police to decide that there is sufficient evidence to move forward with a further investigation of these horrific attacks?

Too little, to late.

This statement by Larry Pott, father of Audrie Pott, a sexual assault victim who took her own life after photos of her attack spread throughout her high school and on social media, bears repeating,

“It’s not a college problem. It’s not a high-school problem. It’s a gender and societal problem.”

http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/magazine/our-daughter-is-dead-were-the-surviving-victims-rape-bullying-and-suicide-after-a-viral-flood/ar-BB7g4pq

Let us join the families of these victims, who’s lives are so tragically cut short, by honoring them and finding ways to educate our youth and society so that we can put an end to Gender Based Violence.

Love & light,

Team ILF

Living in a pretend world. This is the world of the abused….

October 4, 2014featured, homepageabuse, choices, courage, domestic abuse, domestic violence, domestic violence awareness month, end gender violence, gender based violence, gender violence, life lessons, love yourself, respectIndrani Goradia

A few years ago, I had the great joy of speaking to groups of women who had been abused and who had found the strength to stay gone.

I remember asking them why it took as long as it did.

In one case 44 years and in others 20-25 years. The lucky ones where 10-15 years.

They ALL said the same thing:

They wanted to “make” their marriage work.
They wanted to be a better wife.
They wanted their children to have a father.

In every case they were searching for the “reality” that was never there.

They believed the broken promises of “never again.”

They believed the abuser when he said all they had to be was be a better wife, cook, daughter-in-law, income earner, mother, sex partner.

They believed in the pretend of their lives.

They chose to ignore the solid reality that something, many things were wrong.

It is my fervent hope that we can learn to live with the reality of our lives and leave the pretend to the film makers.

Love and light,

Indrani

One woman’s story of survival…..

September 24, 2014featured, homepageabuse, choices, courage, Dealing with shame, domestic violence, domestic violence awareness, end gender violence, fear, gender based violence, gender violence, Shame, start new, Stop domestic violence, survivalIndrani Goradia

This is a must read.

Thankfully, she left before he killed her.

Thankfully, she isn’t letting Shame control her present and future.

Please share this article…it could truly save someone’s life.

Need help? In the U.S., call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) for the National Domestic Violence Hotline.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/09/12/why-didnt-you-just-leave-shame_n_5805848.html?utm_hp_ref=email_share

Love & light,

Team ILF

Think Global…Act Local

September 20, 2014featured, homepageabuse, best, child, child abuse, children, choices, Compassion, courage, domestic violence, end gender violence, gender based violence, gender violence, Intimate Partner Violence, life lessons, love, love others, love yourself, respect, right action, Stop domestic violence, think global act local, use your voice, violence, youIndrani Goradia

When I think of this phrase I think it means to be an informed consumer.

Am I buying products made by children in the slavery mills around the Globe?
Am I consciously aware that what I do here in my country is negatively affecting the Amazon Rain Forest?
Are the diamonds that I admire Blood Diamonds?

Right?

Big thoughts.

I think I can make my buying power MAKE a difference.

I CAN make my money talk!

What IF….

The phrase “THINK Global…Act Local” could be applied to Domestic Violence and Intimate Partner Violence and Child Abuse?

What would that look like?

It might look like this…

You are watching TV on a normal day or night and you see a story of a VERY FAMOUS NFL player like Adrian Peterson being charged with Child Endangerment for beating his 4 year old son with a switch. You may or may not be appalled… Let’s say you ARE appalled.

What can YOU do?

Well you can begin to look at your own behaviors towards your kids or other people’s kids.

You can open a conversation with your kids … if you dare… and ask them what it’s like living in your home.

Do they feel emotionally safe?
Are they worried about people flying off the handle?
Are they afraid of anyone in particular?

YOU must be brave and courageous and really listen.

LISTEN with your ears and your HEART. (Especially your heart.)

You MUST promise them immunity from YOU flying off the handle if you hear something that hurts your feelings.

If I would have had parents who had asked this question to me and if I trusted them, I would have said something like this:

“Well you are always beating us and yelling at us. If we cry then you beat us more to “really give us something to cry about.” You tell me that I never do anything right. I am always scared of you.”

IF I had parents who were brave enough to go there, I may have had a slim chance of a happier childhood.

YOU have the POWER to give your children a bigger chance of happiness.

If you ACT LOCAL, while observing the pitiful GLOBAL state of violence against women and girls you will be making a difference.

Don’t know where to start? Start with YOURSELF, your own boundaries and awareness of shame and building your shame resilience.

START TODAY.

START NOW.

Here is something to get you started…www.liveabrighterlife.eventbrite.com

If I can do it, you can do it.

Now, let’s say you were NOT appalled at someone beating their child in that way, you can still do something.

You can begin to wonder about your own abuse and ask yourself if your parents could have been more compassionate.

If you say they did the best they could with what they had, you would be right. However, YOU can do better with all the new information that you have about child rearing. You can seek out informed guidance on how to be a better parent.

Why? Because you owe it to those kids you brought into the world.

So however you slice this Domestic Violence pie, you can Think Global and still Act Local.

Love and light,

Indrani

*Psst.. Did you know you can highlight any sentence in this post to automatically share it via Twitter or Facebook? Go ahead, give it a try!**

Why you should share this horrific video with your friends…..

September 10, 2014featured, homepageabuse, choices, domestic violence, end gender violence, gender based violence, gender violence, nfl violence, spousal abuseIndrani Goradia

The video footage is painfully hard to watch….but unfortunately, this is something that so many women deal with on a daily basis. The majority of it never even talked about…let alone caught on video.

Awareness is one of many steps toward diminishing Gender-Based Violence.

Please do not sweep this under the rug. Instances like this are a chance to raise awareness and open up conversations, a chance to teach our children, a chance to let other victims know that they are not alone and that help is near.

What emotions does this video bring up for you? How can we learn from this as a society? We would love for you to comment below.

Love & light,

Team ILF

Indrani’s Light Foundation

Supporting Advocates to Support Others

Tag Archives: end gender violence

A2A….Awareness to Action

Using BREATH as a power tool…

A lesson from our neighbors…..

Technology helping to break the silence for abused women….

Rape IS A CRIME!

Too little, too late…….

Living in a pretend world. This is the world of the abused….

One woman’s story of survival…..

Think Global…Act Local

*Psst.. Did you know you can highlight any sentence in this post to automatically share it via Twitter or Facebook? Go ahead, give it a try!**

Why you should share this horrific video with your friends…..

Give to Indrani’s Light Foundation