Tag Archives: give yourself a break

Give yourself a break….

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girl-517555_1280 via pixabayIt was not so very long ago that I never would give myself a break if I made a mistake.

My inner dialogue  would be so mean and hateful towards myself that nothing anyone else could say would even come close to the sting I could give to me.

I have been working on this, slowly and deliberately. It has been a journey.

One never really knows how one will do on a test until the test is over.

I had one such test a few weeks ago while pulling out of a tight parking spot from a Bed and Breakfast.

I had a rental car that was very low to the ground and I was trying to get out of a tight parking space.

I scratched the rental car and I did not beat up myself.

I heard the S. C. R. A. T. C. H.

And thought, “Oh no … that’s not a good sound!”

I did NOT think, “There you go you idiot, can’t drive to save your life!”

I pulled the car to a safe place and got out to take a look.

Yep, I did a good job.

It would be a claim for sure.

I filled the car with gas before I returned it, and I called the insurance company to start the claim process.

I kept a clear head, got all the details and was able to procure all the paperwork needed from the car rental company.

I got on my flight and took a nap.

Yep… I was able to take a nap!

I was so calm and so peaceful with myself that I was able to PUT OUT of my mind all that the morning brought.

This skill, of staying present, has been hard fought.

I used to really beat myself up if I made a mistake.

I was so hard on myself that I made myself sick.

I encourage you to listen to your self talk as you go through life and begin to clean it up and give yourself a break.

Love and light,

Indrani

YOUR WORST MOMENTS DO NOT DEFINE YOU!!!

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perfectionistGive yourself a break and redefine yourself with the best of you!

If you find yourself stuck in a destructive thought pattern and are beating yourself up, you may be picking your own brain looking for evidence about what a screw up you are.

You may even be at the receiving end of someone telling you how screwed up you are and listing the evidence to support the “you are screwed up” theory.

Try to remove yourself from these people or this situation IMMEDIATELY!

Even if you can only get away by going to the toilet, go to the toilet.

Sit in there for as long as you need to break the onslaught of negativity.

If people begin to yell at you to come out, lie and say you have stomach problems and stay longer. The longer you stay in the toilet, the easier it is for them to lose their wrath and maybe calm down a bit.

Always remove yourself from the negative barrage of others.

People who are busy screaming and yelling at you about how bad you are do not have time to look at their own bad behaviors. They are turning their discomfort into anger directed at you so they don’t have to feel their own emotions.

The time to engage with people raging at you is NOT when they are raging.

The ONLY thing to do with a RAGER is to disengage.

So the next time you are being told how bad or stupid you are….disengage as soon as you can and refuse to be defined by others.

If you have made a mistake, forgive yourself and do not be defined by that mistake. Know too, that you are fully human and that you will make many more mistakes in the future. It is with our mistakes that we learn our greatest lessons.

Go forth and make mistakes, learn from them and refuse to be defined by them.

Love and light,

Indrani