Tag Archives: gratitude practice

Gratitude, Presence and Self-care…a GPS for life’s twists and turns.

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How many of us now depend on devices that help us to navigate our way to a new destination? The answer is lots of us.

How many of us refuse to tune into our inner GPS to find the way to Peace and Joy? The answer is LOTS of us.

While it is easy to just put an address into your device and get directions, you still must do a few things:

-You must keep the device charged so you can use it.
-You have to learn how to input the address and where to find the app that gives the directions.
-You have to have the presence of mind to closely follow the directions and make the turns that it suggests or you will not get to where you want to go.

This is also true of our internal GPS. Yes, we all have one.
The inner GPS is called intuition. Your intuition will give you hints of Yes and No when you are turning in a direction that is not aligned with the work you were sent here to do. Your work may or may not coincide with the job you have. If it does, you will feel joyful and fulfilled even if there are many struggles in your life. If, however, your job makes you depleted and sad, then your work that you are meant to do is far from what you do daily.

There is a quick fix for this. Yes, a quick fix.

Your intuition wants to steer you into the work you are meant to do and it can if you begin to feel grateful for all the things that you have, even the challenges. Being able to stay present in the midst of challenge and being grateful for the lesson in the challenge is the quickest way to JOY. I promise you, this really does work.

Every night before bed, I write at least 5 things that I am grateful for and I go to bed with gratitude in my head and heart. The “S” in the GPS is for self-care. That means that you put yourself at the TOP of each list you have, and you must be sure you do something for yourself each day. It can be as simple as allowing the answering machine to get the phone calls for a short time while you do a special something. It can be reading a good book, taking a bath, sitting in silence, listening to your favorite music, chatting with a treasured friend, etc. These snippets of self care do not have to look like taking a whole weekend off to go to the spa, although that’s good too!

Waiting for the “right” moment for self-care is a great way to put off self-care. It is a good way to fool yourself into thinking that you have made yourself a priority.

If you are a subscriber to my newsletter, you have received my 5 minutes to Happiness tool that allows you to quickly tap into your positive traits. If you are brave enough to align your behaviors with your positive traits you will have found a quick way to follow your inner GPS.

You can get 5 minutes to Happiness here.

Give this a try for 7 days. I would love to hear how it works for you!

Love and light
Indrani

A Stay-at-Home Mom’s Paycheck

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Us stay-at-home moms often feel we work a payless job.

Last Friday at about 5:30pm as my 6 year old and 3 year old were working on painting and drawing I was reading some of my Facebook friends’ posts about it being payday Friday and I was enviously thinking “I remember when…”

Then out of the blue my 3 year old presents me with this:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THIS is my paycheck. Unfortunately, I can’t buy a new pair of shoes with it… but it’s priceless!

How large is your Grudge box?

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How large is your Grudge box?

First what IS a Grudge Box? It’s the place in your head where you keep
track of all your past grudges.

You know…

The kid in high school who stole your ONE true love
The woman in the grocery line who flirted with your “ever-so-handsome-and-everyone-wants-him” husband
The mother-in-law who never respects any of your ideas and loves the other one better

Yep, all these and more.

So be honest, how large is your grudge box?

I am working on reducing mine in the following ways:

1. Forgiving myself for holding on to the past.
2. Creating an even larger Gratitude box.
3. Maintaining protective distance from people whom I fear may hurt me.
4. Explaining to my close family that I am no longer in the grudge
business and that I will attempt to clear the air if I feel a grudge
surge coming on.

You may borrow my strategies, or make some of your own. I would love to hear from you.

Love and light
Indrani

Step closer for a better view.

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Homeless Sweet Homeless 2 by Pandaphobia

I have seen homeless people at a distance. 
But I took a step closer and this is what I saw.
 
I did not see dirty people
I saw people who looked their best.

I did not see uncaring
I saw people asking about one another.

I did not see solitude
I saw kinship. 

I did not see withdrawal
I saw openness.

I did not see disconnection.
I saw bonding.

I did not see isolation.
I saw communicating.

I did not see self-pity.
I saw self-regard.

I did not see unmotivation
I saw determination

I did not see dumbness
I saw intelligence

I did not see fear
I saw courage.

I did not see aggression.
I saw friendliness.

I did not see disregard.
I saw appreciation.

I did not see scowling faces.
I saw smiles.

 
What I saw? Human beings just like me.

 
Do you have the courage to take a step closer to someone or something to get a better view?

Blessed out

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zimbio.comzimbio.com

On 12/24 I was involved in something that will make this Holiday really memorable.

Let me tell you what it was NOT.

It was not something that I have to store.

It will not clutter my life.

It does not sparkle in the usual way.

It did not cost me an arm and a leg.

I did not incur any credit card debt.

Everyone who heard about it loved it and some were even jealous that they did not do it.

 

This is what I did…

I was part of a group that hosted a Christmas Party for a group of homeless folk. I was a part of a team of people who provided gifts and food. I did something a little extra. I created a Book Store background and I set up an author signing table and signed books for anyone who wanted one. The party was magical. It was a blessing to be able to spend part of my holiday with these guys. They showed up with a smile. They relished their food and their gifts and some of them sat down and began to read. One beautiful woman said, “I ain’t never meet me a real author before”. I gave her a huge hug and said I was so glad to meet her.

 

When folks live on the streets or in the woods, their possessions have to be functional. Nothing too heavy, or requires too much care. So books may not be so practical. They can get wet or be too bulky for a bag that is already crammed. My hope is that they read as much as they need and then repurpose it as needed. It may end up as kindling for a fire on a cold night. Some of the pages may become a napkin. It may even be a pillow. The book will disappear at some point in their lives. It will be with them for exactly the amount of time they need it and they will forget it and move on.

 

I will not forget the memories I made giving it to them and the feeling I had in my heart.

I am grateful that they came and shared part of their day with me.

I hope that 2012 will be better for them than 2011.

That is my prayer.

 

Doing something for folks in need is one of the quickest ways to get blessed out.

 

I wish you a blessed out New Year. Dream Large in 2012. The world needs us all to show up to the fullest extent of our capacities.

 

Love and light

Indrani

First DO no MORE harm.

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By: Alanzo Moreno and Jonathan Bout, Damien High School, La Verne, CA - Winners of The Search For Peace Art Exhibit in Los Angeles

The title of this blog may sound a little dark. I don’t mean it to be. I am taking 100% responsibility for the sentiments expressed here.

First a confession:

I have done harm.

I have dome harm to myself, to those I love and to those I don’t love.

There was a time when I did not care about the harm I had done and I happily continued to do more. Of this I am not proud.

I have learned to bring compassion to the person I was then and I know that I was doing the best I could.

Oprah said “when you know better, you do better”

I believe. I Believe.

On this side of 50, I know better.

I have tried to temper my words, my thoughts, my actions and my intentions, in such a way as to show respect for all things and people.

I am not always successful. Sometimes I recognize when I fail and other times I do not.

I am still in training; I will always be a student.

My mantra for 2012 is to

DO NO MORE HARM, at least to try.

In order to walk this talk I must be PRESENT.

PRESENT TO MYSELF, MY THOUGHTS AND TO THE WORLD.

I know that this will not be easy. It is actually harder than getting a PhD.

There are no set guidelines or rules or schools to help me get there.

There are however, guides, living and dead who in my opinion, have tried to live without doing harm.

I can learn from them, read about them and emulate them.

Some which come to mind are:

 The Dalai Lama

 Mother Theresa

 Pema Chodron

 Nelson Mandela

 Jesus Christ

 Buddha

 Children

 

I will be a student of these and others who cross my life. I will start today.

Will you join me?

Who are some of your models for DO NO MORE HARM?

 Love and light

Don’t click send

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You hear about it all the time Facebook this and Facebook that. Are you on Facebook?  Find me on Facebook!   Friend me!

Facebook is a wonderful tool to connect with many people especially during the holidays.  We can send virtual cards, post on their Facebook walls, share holiday photos.  We can connect with so many so fast, but are we really connecting?

The electronic connections are conveinent, wide spread and inexpensive.  Not a lot of thought is required.  The entire cyber world can see anything we write so we keep things generic, superficially friendly and warm for all to read.   Then we move on with our day. Is this really connecting?  Is this a joyful connection?  I think we can all admit no.  It is nice and easy but it is not a joyful interaction.

Think about when you receive an electronic greeting or Facebook post, are you really touched by the connection?

Is it heartfelt, is it meaningful, is it memorable?

Joyful connections may take a little more time than a Facebook post but they can mean so much more.  So my holiday challenge to you is this… Before you send that e-card, e-gift, post on Facebook stop to think about that person and consider whether a visit, a phone call, a hand written note or card would be a special way of letting someone know you are thinking about them during this special time of year.

Take the extra effort to connect with those who you love, or people who need a little extra love, who may be struggling for whatever reason, and show them you have them in your mind and heart.

It will mean more to them, and put joy in your heart. Truly a connection that works both ways.

LOST

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I lost about 6 months’ worth of intellectual property. I had about 75 written blogs and classes and general musings in my notes on my iPad.

How did I lose it?

Here is the sad story:

I had a defunct email on my iPad and was deleting it to install my new email address (which BTW is: Indrani@indranislight.org) and when I hit delete, not only did the email go away but all my notes aligned with the email disappeared also.

I looked helplessly at the emptiness of my NOTES section. I could not even remember all the great stuff I had been writing over these 6 months. Even this blog is brand new but was supposed to be something else. I did not freak out, because it would have been no use. I did not yell or act ugly when the apple genius told me that there was nothing he could do. I recognized the truth when I heard it. It was just one of those things.

Is this the first time I have lost work? No. But it was the first time that I had lost this much work. I had to re-focus my energies and decide what to do next.

What was needed?

I needed a blog and soon.

What should I write?

There’s nothing as powerful as the present lessons to write about. In case you don’t think that this lesson can apply to you, let me give you some examples of stuff going up in smoke: You are counting on something happening in a certain order and out of the blue things change, like a vacation that gets cancelled, or you don’t get into the school of your choice, or your child decides that they are moving to another country and you don’t know how you’ll live without them… There are many ways to be lost.

You can bitch and moan or you can make a different plan. There are so many examples in life when stuff happens to good people, and I have no doubt that you are good people. I also have no doubt that you can use the brain in your head to come up with ways to cope.

The next best thing to do is to make a list of all that is still right with the world. This would look a lot like a gratitude list. Make the items as detailed as you can. It even helps to be grateful for that fact that you can remember that you are lost. What if you didn’t even know you were lost? That would look a little like dementia and that would be a little harder to fix.

So here are some of the items I AM grateful for:

I have use of my hands and can still type.

I still have a brain in my head that works pretty good and I can create new material.

I enjoy writing and have some readers who love to read what I have to say.

I did not lose my physical iPad.

I am sitting at the beginning of the last Harry Potter movie and writing this, while waiting for my baby girl with whom I have shared all the other HP movies. This just makes me all kinds of gratitude.

Do I still feel lost? Not so much anymore.

I have faith that I will create exactly what needs to be created at the right moment that it is necessary. In the meantime, I intend to just be grateful. Yep this is my plan.

Let me know what you can be grateful for.

Love and light from Indrani

A Peek into my Gratitude process

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I have used the MOLESKIN 12-pack calendar this whole year to make it easy for me to record the things that I am grateful for at the end of each day.

These little books are small enough to travel with and IF it gets lost I am only losing about 1 month’s worth of items. I TRY to keep my nightstand clean ( Ahem.. I cleaned it up for the photo!) and I see the small book right there and I remember to put something in.

Here is a sample of some of the things I have been grateful for this year:

Jan 2nd 2010

  • Rolled down a HILL for first time in 30 years
  • Played Wii with Mo John and had tones of fun

April 7th 2010

  • Buddha story on PBS left me feeling so peaceful. I meditated before I went to sleep.

July 7th 2010

  • Did my first Energy Forum class. I am so happy to share this work.

September 19th 2010

  • Lovely day to “fight” away “poor me” thoughts.
  • Nice dinner with Anita and wonderful chat with Racha
  • Grateful for secure home, alarm system, Wolf, Andrea Lee, new client.

So as you can see, I don’t have to write long epistles of gratitude. And guess what… just rereading those few random entries brought a smile to my face and heart.

Here are some other ideas for starting a Gratitude practice  or refining one already in place:

  • Hope that you find some joy and spaciousness with your gratitude practice: Moleskine 2011 12 Month Color A Month Daily Planner
  • Online: Search for “Gratitude Journal app”, several are available under itunes/appstore for iPhone, iTouch, and iPad.  They are also available for Android based smartphones, search for “Gratitude Journal for Android”.

Love and Light,

Indrani