Tag Archives: happiness

Gratitude, Presence and Self-care…a GPS for life’s twists and turns.

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How many of us now depend on devices that help us to navigate our way to a new destination? The answer is lots of us.

How many of us refuse to tune into our inner GPS to find the way to Peace and Joy? The answer is LOTS of us.

While it is easy to just put an address into your device and get directions, you still must do a few things:

-You must keep the device charged so you can use it.
-You have to learn how to input the address and where to find the app that gives the directions.
-You have to have the presence of mind to closely follow the directions and make the turns that it suggests or you will not get to where you want to go.

This is also true of our internal GPS. Yes, we all have one.
The inner GPS is called intuition. Your intuition will give you hints of Yes and No when you are turning in a direction that is not aligned with the work you were sent here to do. Your work may or may not coincide with the job you have. If it does, you will feel joyful and fulfilled even if there are many struggles in your life. If, however, your job makes you depleted and sad, then your work that you are meant to do is far from what you do daily.

There is a quick fix for this. Yes, a quick fix.

Your intuition wants to steer you into the work you are meant to do and it can if you begin to feel grateful for all the things that you have, even the challenges. Being able to stay present in the midst of challenge and being grateful for the lesson in the challenge is the quickest way to JOY. I promise you, this really does work.

Every night before bed, I write at least 5 things that I am grateful for and I go to bed with gratitude in my head and heart. The “S” in the GPS is for self-care. That means that you put yourself at the TOP of each list you have, and you must be sure you do something for yourself each day. It can be as simple as allowing the answering machine to get the phone calls for a short time while you do a special something. It can be reading a good book, taking a bath, sitting in silence, listening to your favorite music, chatting with a treasured friend, etc. These snippets of self care do not have to look like taking a whole weekend off to go to the spa, although that’s good too!

Waiting for the “right” moment for self-care is a great way to put off self-care. It is a good way to fool yourself into thinking that you have made yourself a priority.

If you are a subscriber to my newsletter, you have received my 5 minutes to Happiness tool that allows you to quickly tap into your positive traits. If you are brave enough to align your behaviors with your positive traits you will have found a quick way to follow your inner GPS.

You can get 5 minutes to Happiness here.

Give this a try for 7 days. I would love to hear how it works for you!

Love and light
Indrani

Upping our JOY Q…Our joy quotient is woefully low!

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I once took a philosophy class in college and the teacher asked us to define happiness.

I remember saying that it was an illusion and that people who said they were happy were liars. I also said that if people can find a little happiness, it would be fleeting and can never last.

Fast forward 30 years and I have completely and irrevocably changed my mind. As a matter of fact, it feels more like I have healed my mind and in the process healed my spirit.

Over the past few years I have been steeping myself in the study of and the living of Joy. Last year, I even went as far as to do a virtual joy event called Unpasteurized Joy. It was a series of conversations with many different folk from the very famous, like Dr Patch Adams, to the absolutely non-famous, like yours truly. I asked every person to speak of joy and how their work contributes to joy in our world.

Focusing so intently on joy over that past few years has allowed me to stay focused on the good in my life, even as challenges continue to flow in and through, and I am able to keep negativity at bay.

Recently, I heard from a colleague of mine who had surgery and she told me that while she was in recovery she listened to all 26 joy recordings. She said that it really helped her. Thanks Catherine, for sharing this lovely bit of information. It warmed my heart.

My challenge to you is to keep upping your JOY Q by finding the joy all around and by speaking joy as often as you can.

What are some ways that you can increase your JOY Q?

1. Stay focused on the positive aspects of your own wonderful self.
Sign up at www.indranislight.org for a tool called Five minutes to
Happiness for a way to get to your finest values.

2. Take time each day for using your eyes to see the beauty in all those who you
meet. Look for something that you can admire in each person.

3. Find the courage to forgive someone. One of my dear friends found
her courage this weekend to forgive someone who really hurt her a few
years ago. The very next day, the woman she forgave gave her some
wonderful compliments on face book.

4. Write a letter to yourself and forgive yourself for any grievance
that you feel you have committed.

5. Spend a few moments in nature everyday to notice how much intricate beauty
surrounds us.

Up your JOY Q.
We must if we want to save our world.

Love and light,
Indrani

To laugh, or not to laugh? That is the question…

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I just got home from the MBI Summit (Martha Beck Coach Conference)
and I am ready to REST.

BUT before I rest I must tell you something really funny.

The first morning of the Summit started off with a delicious welcome by Jessica Steward, Alexis Robin and Gretchen Pisano. They were organized, energized and actualized ready to lead some 320 plus coaches on a three day adventure. We would learn to write better blogs or books, grow our businesses in new and amazing ways, listen to Martha’s wisdom and buy sumptuous market place products made by our compadres as well as loads of other stuff!
We were ready!

BUT first we would LAUGH… At least that was the hope.

Yours truly got the head nod from Jessica and I let my biggest and
boldest belly laugh burst forth from my throat. I even surprised
myself as to how loud my laugh sounded.
I realized that people did not immediately understand what was
happening so I leapt upon my chair and started waving my hands wildly
trying to encourage my fellow coaches to rip the roof off with the
loudest laughter we could muster.
Some took the hint and I began to hear the laughing all around me.
I was really surprised however that it was not louder. We had about
320 mouths in that room that had to be hushed just a few minutes prior
and now some were being… SHY?

The laughter soon died down and we got around to the more serious business.

Then the MOST curious thing started to happen.
People started coming up to me and offering their thoughts on the
whole laughter thing.

Here are a few of the offerings:

You made me jump up and laugh, thanks.

Seeing you standing on the chair laughing was too funny.

Was that laughter yoga?

Are you certified in laughter yoga?

Why didn’t we know that we were supposed to laugh?…. Wait what???

Why didn’t you put many people around the room to show people how to do it?

Some of these offerings were easy to understand, some required a
simple response like, “no I am not laughter yoga certified, and I was just laughing not
doing laughter yoga”.

Others were really confusing, and that too from a group of coaches who
are trained to question the thoughts.

How far have we come from doing what is natural?
If the room was on fire would you have to be told to RUN?
If you we suddenly cold because of the air conditioner, would you need
permission to put on a sweater?
If you were thirsty do you need permission to take a sip of water?

I am betting the answer is NO to all of the above.

Some people were waiting for a cue, or a specific leader, or an
instruction that may sound like “laugh now”.

I remain amused and bemused by the variety of responses to my laughter outburst.
I can take heart in one thing however, no one told me that my voice
hurt their ears or to shut up, as has happened on some occasions.
So for that I am grateful.
I am also grateful that I had the courage to look silly and sound
silly and allowed others to find their “silly” because I tell you
what, there is much too much “unsilly”
going around.

So laugh your butts off and here is a short recording of laughter to
get you started.

Laughter IS the best medicine!

Keep laughing, just for the health of it. It really is the best
medicine, but only if you really want to be healed.

Love, light and LAUGHTER,
Indrani

IT’S ALL IN THE NOSE!

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It’s all in the nose that makes a child with down-syndrome run towards you with open arms for a hug.
It’s all in the nose that makes children hide behind their mother’s skirt, and peek from behind it.
It’s all in the nose that brings warm, kindness and love to the abandoned HIV positive child.

It’s all in the nose that brings a smile to the parents as you share a balloon with their child who has cancer.
It’s all in the nose that brings a sigh of relief to the overworked nurse when we pick up a crying baby to hold.
It’s all in the nose that makes families waiting in the ER take a few easier breathes as they wait for a doctor to see their child.

It’s all in the nose that makes an elderly person get up and dance as if they were young again.
It’s all in the nose that gets that old person to crack a smile.
It’s all in the nose that takes the old lady from feeling lonely to feeling loved.

It’s all in the nose that makes a policeman directing traffic smile and wave.
It’s all in the nose that gets a toothless grin from a woman making tortillas on the curb.
It’s all in the nose that makes men blow kisses to the clown bus as they walk down the street.

It’s all in the nose that gives us clowns strength to see a once beautiful old woman playing with a stuffed toy.
It’s all in the nose that helps us hold back the tears as we see abandoned children in an orphanage.
It’s all in the nose that gave me the strength to watch a doctor siphon fluid from a baby’s lungs, while she was not breathing, and resuscitate her again.

It’s all in the nose that brings all of humanity just a bit closer.

 

I’m with the band…

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Help, I need somebody,Help, not just anybody,
Help, you know I need someone, help.

When I was younger, so much younger than today,
I never needed anybody’s help in any way.
But now these days are gone, I’m not so self assured,
Now I find I’ve changed my mind and opened up the doors.

Help me if you can, I’m feeling down
And I do appreciate you being round.
Help me, get my feet back on the ground,
Won’t you please, please help me.

And now my life has changed in oh so many ways,
My independence seems to vanish in the haze.
But every now and then I feel so insecure,
I know that I just need you like I’ve never done before.

We all know this Beatles tune… but can you say help when you need it?

I have learned that this is what the 12 step program is all about, changing your mind and opening up the doors. For many of us we have lived a life never needing anybody’s help in any way. Now our egos, our shame seem to create a rift between us and the help we need. People who are OCD, control freaks, people pleasers, codependents, abused, abusers, alcoholics, addicts: we all have trouble asking for help.

Our independence seems to have vanished in the haze, and we fool ourselves into thinking if we just buck up we can work through the issues, but does this really make us hum a happy tune?

It is amazing, the comfort in sharing and listening during a support group gathering. Here is a band of people you don’t know, who have seen through the haze and asked for help and who have the strength to offer another person sitting right next to them through their challenges. They listen with a kindly tuned ear and a melodic, compassionate heart. They help lighten the tune of our dissonant chords of life.

And as a people pleaser myself I can say with confidence that trying to be the conductor who orchestrates lives to bring out everyone’s happiness is usually at my own expense. My song not being heard makes for an unbalanced symphony of life.

We are not alone with our instrument of life and when we share together in support it is a comforting melody.

People in support groups can be your band to help you find the music of inner peace and happiness.

You do not need to be one of the fab four to ask for help.

No laughing matter

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If you have never been to a 12 step meeting (as I am certainly new to it all), the last thing you would expect is laughing. 

To the unknowing you would expect tears, sobbing, dismay, anger, sadness, frustration or anguish.  The last thing you would think to expect is laughing.  You would think that addiction, codependency, habits, hurts and hang-ups are no laughing matter and they are something serious that should not be joked about.  But there is laughter….

Laughter is not just for happiness.

Laughter can be a great coping mechanism. Laughter can be a sign of nervousness or stress.

 

In the meeting we laugh. We make gentle jokes about ourselves or our challenges to lessen the weight of the issue.

We laugh at sometimes the ridiculousness of our behaviors when we take a moment to look at them for what they are.

We laugh at the circumstance.

We laugh at ourselves.

We laugh with each other, not at each other.

We laugh in knowing we have done the same damn thing as the person sharing her story.

We laugh because we have let similar circumstances bring out the same feelings.

 

Laughter makes the unbearable bearable.

I think laughter is a sign of courage.

A Stay-at-Home Mom’s Paycheck

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Us stay-at-home moms often feel we work a payless job.

Last Friday at about 5:30pm as my 6 year old and 3 year old were working on painting and drawing I was reading some of my Facebook friends’ posts about it being payday Friday and I was enviously thinking “I remember when…”

Then out of the blue my 3 year old presents me with this:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THIS is my paycheck. Unfortunately, I can’t buy a new pair of shoes with it… but it’s priceless!

Blessed out

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zimbio.comzimbio.com

On 12/24 I was involved in something that will make this Holiday really memorable.

Let me tell you what it was NOT.

It was not something that I have to store.

It will not clutter my life.

It does not sparkle in the usual way.

It did not cost me an arm and a leg.

I did not incur any credit card debt.

Everyone who heard about it loved it and some were even jealous that they did not do it.

 

This is what I did…

I was part of a group that hosted a Christmas Party for a group of homeless folk. I was a part of a team of people who provided gifts and food. I did something a little extra. I created a Book Store background and I set up an author signing table and signed books for anyone who wanted one. The party was magical. It was a blessing to be able to spend part of my holiday with these guys. They showed up with a smile. They relished their food and their gifts and some of them sat down and began to read. One beautiful woman said, “I ain’t never meet me a real author before”. I gave her a huge hug and said I was so glad to meet her.

 

When folks live on the streets or in the woods, their possessions have to be functional. Nothing too heavy, or requires too much care. So books may not be so practical. They can get wet or be too bulky for a bag that is already crammed. My hope is that they read as much as they need and then repurpose it as needed. It may end up as kindling for a fire on a cold night. Some of the pages may become a napkin. It may even be a pillow. The book will disappear at some point in their lives. It will be with them for exactly the amount of time they need it and they will forget it and move on.

 

I will not forget the memories I made giving it to them and the feeling I had in my heart.

I am grateful that they came and shared part of their day with me.

I hope that 2012 will be better for them than 2011.

That is my prayer.

 

Doing something for folks in need is one of the quickest ways to get blessed out.

 

I wish you a blessed out New Year. Dream Large in 2012. The world needs us all to show up to the fullest extent of our capacities.

 

Love and light

Indrani

If you build it… Will they really come?

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ehow.com

What if you build something, or create something or plan something and
people say they will attend. Yes, they are sure that they will come.

So you invest time, money, energy, etc, and you are pumped, and you
are energized and you are ready.

The day has finally arrived, with all the planning, all the reminders. You get into your car and drive to the venue. You check all the
systems that need to be checked. You wait and wait and wait. The time of performance is here, the music starts and you realize that
only a handful of people have shown up. You keep calm and carry on all the while wondering how could it be that it all fell apart?

This, dear friend, is what happened on 12/18/2011.

I had been asked by several people to plan a Christmas flash mob. So I did.
I kept asking people are you sure that you are coming. I could still cancel, if there was no interest. But, I was constantly reminded that
there was interest.

How does it feel to put time and love and attention into something that fizzles at the last moment?

Here’s what NOT to do!

Do Not Take It Personally!
It has nothing to do with you. It has to do with every individual who did not show. I am sure that they all wanted to be there, but life happens, and in their lives things happened that kept them away.

Was I sad?
YES, I was sad!

Was I confused?
YES, I was confused.

Did I wonder if I had somehow screwed up?
YES, I thought that I had screwed up.

How could I have screwed up?
Did I not do enough reminders on FB?
Was the planning lacking?

I do not have answers to any of those questions.
I only know that I tried my best.
At the end of the day, that is all any of us can do.
Do our best.
If it’s not good enough for anyone, well that’s just too bad.

Easy to say, harder to believe.
I encourage you this holiday, to just do YOUR best.

THEN LET IT GO.
Happiness, joy and peace this the holiday season of 2011
Love and light
Indrani

A Holiday Riddle…

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crazytownmayor.com

What do you get if you crossed, Paula Deen, Martha Stewart and June Cleaver… a migraine for all us mere mortal women!

I was recently strolling thru an airport and came upon a bookstore. So of course I wasted a nice chunk of change on magazines.

They were all Christmas magazines and each had copious tips for me as to how to create that ever so special holiday.

I began to make a list and it was appalling how many things I HAD to do to make my family, friends and the community at large happy.

The list is far too long so I will just give you some highlights…

  •  Make cookies from scratch, cut outs that must be iced and drop cookies, because as we all know people like variety!
  • Do extra special community deeds, because as we all know, all the volunteer stuff we do is NOT enough to make us feel worthwhile.
  • Put a special ornament on all the cabinet knobs, because we all know, every room must be festive.
  • Make all your own floral arrangements and get only the freshest buds, because as we all know, people will know that I am a slouch if I buy them from the grocery store.
  • Group glass containers together and place candles in them, because as we all know, electric lights are too harsh for the holidays.
  • Write a special note in all my holiday cards, because as we all know, it is extremely tacky to just say “Happy Holidays”.
  • Decorate the tree, preferable trees, in its own special theme, because as we all know, a hodge podge of ornaments from years of life well lived, just looks too damn dull.
  • Have scents of cinnamon and oranges wafting all thru the house, because as we all know, our houses stink the whole rest of the year.
  • Decorate every room with fresh sprigs (from our gardens) especially the guest rooms, because as we all know we want those pesky guests to feel so comfy, they’ll stay an extra month.

I can go on, but I have a lot to do in the next few weeks, as you can clearly see.

So I’ll be sure to start tomorrow because it’s too dark to get sprigs and such and I don’t have all the ingredients for the 13 kinds of cookies I intend to make.

Wait, I can’t start tomorrow… I have a massage scheduled and that tea I must go to, and oh yea I gotta go the work. Hmmm, ok the day after tomorrow then. Wait…