Tag Archives: happiness

These united states of CONFUSION – PART 2

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If you missed last week’s Unites States of Confusion, here it is… 

Let’s take it from there, shall we?

The only way to get someplace other than where you are… Is first to KNOW that you want to make the journey. I want to journey from this confusion… It is suffocating here. I can barely breathe. My throat dries up when I try to speak my truth. My legs feel too heavy to move and I feel stuck. So clearly this is NO place to be…Even though these feelings are familiar, it is still not a safe place.

But what is the first step?

The first step is to be gentle with myself… Not beat myself up for landing here yet again… Shit happens…Quite frequently… So what?

No beat-up-of-self allowed!

The next step is to know which areas of my life need some care and to use the road map (the 8 principles) to map my way into a different space. These are in my book available at http://indranislight.org/products-page/

Let’s focus of my physical body. I have become quite lazy with my exercise and training. I have used all kinds of lame excuses and have allowed myself to gain weight and had to buy bigger clothing.

No beat-up-of-self allowed!

So I must start on a program of physical health.

How do I feel about getting so off course? Kinda crummy…But my INTUITION has been whispering in my ear to pay attention and to FOCUS more on self-care.

I hear my intuition by making time for silence, prayer, meditation. I also hear it by noticing how my body feels. INTUITION speaks with energy in our physical bodies and instead of labeling the feelings with words like Anxiety, Panic attacks, etc… Try just describing the physical sensations as if you did not know how to label them. That takes you out of the trance of the labels.

The intuitions lead me to register for another marathon… Now the event will determine what my PLAN looks like.

I must run/ walk 26.2 miles next March. My training program when worked backwards will have me starting at 2 or 3 miles a few times per week and gently increasing each week. My PLAN will also include yoga, strength training and weekly massage to help me recover from my workouts.

I started on the plan already and surprised myself by walking faster than I have in a few years and not being winded. I cannot change the plan because my body still has to be reintroduced to the regimen of training.

So what is your plan? How can you work it backwards so that you can begin to take baby steps? Why baby steps? If my marathon were in 2 months, I would be going crazy and I would already have failed. I know that I cannot get ready to 26.2 miles in 60 days. 6 months is my absolute limit. Your end goal and where you are now will determine the time you need to be successful.

Here’s another hint… State the goal and halve it. Now create a timeline and place the end goal at the end, then the half goal at the…you got it…the halfway mark. Half that again and place that at the quarter mark and half again at the eight mark. Now look at how much time you have from the start to the eighth mark and begin to create the small steps to get there. You may decide to shorten the overall time or to lengthen it, your steps will be your guide.

My marathon steps would look like this:

26.2 miles March 2012

13.1 miles December 2011

6.5 miles October 2011

3.2 miles September

2 miles now until September

Now I would work the daily schedule that has me running each of those long distances only once a week, the rest of the week is for endurance, speed work and other disciplines like yoga and Pilates.

Then you have to kick your FOCUS into action. Everything, and I do mean everything you do has to have your goal be the guide post. If, for instance, I need to swim every day and I choose hotels without pools when I travel, then I have lost my focus. Or if I have room for 3 pairs of shoes but no room for my running shoes, then I have lost focus. So my GOAL is my GUIDE.

This whole process is painted with the INTENTION and the PLANNING brush. The whole event, from beginning to end has to be in clear FOCUS and your Intention, your daily Planning principle all over it and is guided by your Intuition and your Intention. Every step you take solidifies your Intention to make your goal your reality.

This could mean that your ENVIRONMENT has to be tweaked, so you can accomplish this goal. If I have to do long runs on Sundays, I cannot go bar hoping on Saturday nights because I have to rest, hydrate with water not booze and eat right the night before. So I may have to give up some of my drinking buddies until my race is over.

The CREATION Principle, begs deeper question…WHY do you care? In other words, why do you want to see this thru? What will you gain? Who will lose if you lose focus?

For me the answers are quite clear. I will lose ME. I will LOSE ME! There is nothing more precious than ME and I will lose that.

So what am I creating?A more powerful and positive me!

Why? Because half of who I am or can become is not acceptable.  I will not settle for less than ALL that I am!

I was not born to live just half of my potential… I was created to live full out. I was created to live completely and to use all of my gifts. All day, every day.

The other Principles are the Ultimate and the You Principles and I will tell you more about those next week.

Come back won’t you?

What will you start today?

 

Love and light

Surrender

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Surrendering does not usually have positive connotations. Recently I had been traveling a lot, meetings, obligations, running here, running there. Just simply overwhelmed. I would lay in bed exhausted not able to even sleep well.

I decided to start looking at my obligations, my schedule to see what I could eliminate. I started thinking what would happen if I surrendered. Not give up, but give in. Give in to the my mind, body and spirit which needed time to rest, recharge, and be still.

If I kept my hectic schedule and burden load I would only be running myself down more.

What would others think if I postponed my appointments with them? I worried that they would think less of me.

What would my loved ones think if I chose to take time by myself and not rush home to them? I felt guilty wanting to indulge myself in rest and rejuvenation.

I decided to surrender to my body, mind and spirit to get the rest and develop the clarity needed.

Once I made the decision to surrender, to give in, the healing actually began at once.

What can you surrender to, that would be for your well being?

Being yoga vs. doing yoga

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People generally “do” yoga. They go to classes, take their place on their mats, and do the poses…they are dealing with the body. Which is one limb of yoga. It may be easy to do a back bend, balance in a tree pose or strike a warrior pose.

Being yoga is harder. It takes a strong and willing spirit to be patient, compassionate & understanding to yourself & others. It does not require a mat, or being at a class at a specific time.

It requires an open heart, a quiet mind and awareness.
There…is the work.

A love letter

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It was just yesterday that I was preparing to give birth, or so it seems. In reality, it was 21 years ago. How is it that my brain can hold so many memories of a sweet baby girl?

First yawns

First giggles

First squeals of joy when she saw me

First tiny fists grasping my little finger

First attempts at nursing her

and the list goes on…

Then before I can understand what my brain is doing my mind goes to

First tea party

First swim suit

First sleep over

First day of kindergarten

First… oh so many firsts.

This thing that I am afflicted with is commonly known as Mother’s Love. I am blessed with the capacity to LOVE. She makes it EASY! My children have shown me how elastic and courageous and resilient my love can be. I can rise to any occasion where LOVE is required. I am at my very best when I choose to paint all of my challenges with love. My gift to this brand new 21-year-old is this (and I offer it to you if you need to hear it).

LOVE WELL. LOVE OFTEN. LOVE WITHOUT CONDITION.

BRING YOUR TALENTS TO ALL OF YOUR CHALLENGES, DO NOT LET A SINGLE TALENT GO UNEXPLORED.

KNOW THAT YOU WILL ALWAYS HAVE A PLACE TO CALL HOME, EVEN IF I LIVE IN A CARDBOARD BOX UNDER A BRIDGE.

USE YOUR HEART AS OFTEN AS YOU USE THAT PRETTY HEAD OF YOURS.

BE PATIENT WITH YOURSELF, THE WORLD WILL BE HARSH ENOUGH, SO PRACTICE KINDNESS TO YOU.

KNOW THAT YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH.

KNOW THAT YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH.

KNOW THAT YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH.

May you be well. May you be peaceful and at ease. May you be free from suffering. May you be happy.

Love to you, my bright eyed child. You have made me a better Human Being. I am eternally grateful.

Do you pledge allegiance… to YOU?

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We are about to celebrate another Independence Day in these United States. I am not a born American but I became a citizen of this, my adopted country, as soon as I could. For myself, I found MY personal independence here in the Unites States of America.

Why does America inspire so many to LIVE a full and complete life?

Maybe it is because the earliest Americans had to really scrap with the Almighty King George III to have the freedom that I enjoy today.

For a glimpse of a possible answer we must go back to the 1700s and what propelled the then British citizens, the Colonists to rise up and say to King George III, “Hey Dude… Enough is enough!”

Did the colonists unanimously decide to be independent in one fell swoop?

No, they did not…

Here is an amazing fact about the unanimous signing of The Declaration of Independence. Benjamin Franklin tried to establish The Albany Plan in 1754 and it was soundly defeated, so that The Declaration of Independence was unanimously signed was nothing short of a miracle. We are told that “this coming together happened very gradually”. It seems that the colonies had a series of meetings each priming them for compromise. It was this feeling of oneness that made them a solid block.

Ben Franklin had tried back in 1754 to get the Albany Plan of Union passed and it was NOT supported.

According to the website I used, http://www.ushistory.org/us/9.asp, “This plan, under the slogan ‘Join or Die’, would have brought the colonial rivals together to meet the common threat of the French and the Indians. Much to Franklin’s chagrin, this plan was soundly defeated”.

The colonists thought themselves very much “British Subjects” yet they came together to DECLARE themselves free and independent of The Man just a few years after they rejected Franklin’s Albany Plan.

So what led up to Britain losing to a “rag tag group of freedom fighters”?

Can you imagine the surprise on ole King George’s face when the ship bearing the news that the colonists were winning arrived?

I imagined that he must have declared, in the vernacular of the times, “are you guys sh**ing me?”

From my research, I understand that the push for independence came about from a string of steps that the British made. Some of these are called the Intolerable Acts:

1 Boston Port Act

2 Massachusetts Government Act

3 Administration of Justice Act

4 Quebec Act

The Colonists were further pushed over the proverbial edge with the Stamp Act. This said that all official documents had to bear certain stamps and the costs were extremely probative. People could not even issue birth certificates without these added expenses.

The masses were getting restless. Hey King…you’re in for a bit of a fight, buddy!

Further Independence was not won in ONE epic battle. Rather it was a series of smaller battles, each one giving the colonists more confidence.  “How could the Americans ever hope to defeat the mighty British Empire in a military conflict? Americans faced seemingly impossible obstacles. When the guns fired at Lexington and Concord in 1775 there was not yet even a Continental Army.”

Some of the major battles of the American Revolution are:

April 1775 Lexington-Concord

June 1775 Bunker Hill

December 1775 Quebec

Oct 1776 White Plains

Sept 1777 Saratoga

Sept 1779 Siege of Savannah

Sept 1781 Siege of Yorktown

There are many more…

Why list any of the above?

This is, by way of telling you that Independence is a fight, that is worth it. Your personal independence is worth it. Your personal battles are worth fighting and you will gain confidence with each battle fought.

List your intolerable acts.

List your battles.

Begin to make your case.

Thomas Jefferson was a major writer of the Declaration of Independence, and he had assistance from John Adams, Benjamin Franklin, Robert R Livingston and Roger Sherman.

This amazing document has 4 parts

1. Preamble… Tells why the document is written, gives all the reasons why the people must support this.

2. Rights of all the people…life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness

3. List of Grievances…unfair actions of the King and Parliament and lists steps the colonists tried to take to settle these differences. This part ends with saying the King of England is “unfit to be the ruler of a free people”.

4. States that all the colonies are free and independent states.

So as I wish you a MOST HAPPY FOURTH… I invite you to declare your own Independence over your fears and the rules that are holding you back from living in true Freedom.

Here is a little formula to follow:

Write down some of the battles you have fought, give them some juicy names.

Write down some intolerable things that you have endured.

Get your peeps together, the ones who support you and begin the writing of your Freedom Document.

Write your declaration, change it as often as you wish, but keep working on it.

Send me your declarations and I will post some to my blog for the world to see.

Go forth and find your freedom wherever you may live.

Love and light from Indrani

When you wish upon a star

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…Makes no difference who you are.  The song written for Walt Disney’s 1940 adaptation of Pinocchio, rings so true when it comes to our dreams and happiness.  We forget the “makes no difference who you are”!  We do not dignify our dreams and wish for happiness.  Perhaps we ignore our wishes out of feeling embarrassed, undeserving, or just too busy to give our dreams and longing for happiness the recognition and time.  We live as if it really does not matter that much.

We instead choose to play it safe.

When we play it safe, there is no fear of embarrassment in pursuing the dream, no fear that someone will ridicule us about our wish, no fear of failure that the dream may not be exactly what we had hoped.  We sit safely on the wish side lines, thinking happiness not worth the risk of stepping out into the playing field.

Too undeserving to dream?  What a lie we tell ourselves, “I am too ____( fill in the blank)_____ to have dreams, hopes for happiness”.  Would you tell a child they are undeserving?  Of course you wouldn’t, so why would you tell yourself that?  Age is not a factor.

Too busy to dream or wish for happiness? Make time!  There is time if you want there to be time.  If you invest that time in that wish or dream you can jump start your creativity, step a little lighter, smile a little brighter.  Heck, maybe just start smiling. Happiness is for everyone, and it CAN be obtained.  But you cannot obtain it if you do not recognize the wish for it.   I am not saying it won’t take some work.  But isn’t your wish for happiness worth it?

Wishes and dreams are not just for children. As a parent, how can you truthful encourage kids to dream and wish if you yourself do not believe that wishes & dreams are for everyone and that they can come true?!

Dreams & wishes DO matter. Perhaps even more so when we are older.

So, what is your wish or dream?  Write it down and start making your own dreams of happiness come true.

PS> Now that we have settled that… remember dreams have a bill of rights too!

Do you love yourself enough to get healthy?

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Wowzers, half the year is over!

Where did the time go?

I had such great plans for this year.

After my knee surgery in January, I planned to walk about 5 miles per week for three weeks and then get into gear to do some serious mileage.

I have done NOTHING.

Sure from time to time I get out and do a few miles, but that searing drive that I used to have when I was training for my triathlon and my marathons have disappeared.

I feel sad that I have allowed myself to fall off the fitness wagon.

I KNOW how to get back on.

It really is just a decision, a daily decision.

It really is just a promise to myself that my health is more important than anything else.

Just that simple.

So, this past week I again make this promise.

Now I make it in front of you, my dear friend.

I promise to take up my walking again five days of the week and I promise to find a great marathon to train for.

I ask you… What health gifts will you give to you?

I know that it will be difficult, it always is. I also know that it is well worth it.
I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I must do this if I truly love myself.

Do you love yourself enough to get healthy? I hope so.

Love and light from Indrani

The definition of divorce is….

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Emotional divorce as defined by me is:
Disengaging one’s energy from being entangled with the energy of another.
A shorter way to put this is:
Their business is none of yours!
Yes, I know it sounds crass and abrupt and even a little bitchy.

Bear with me a while and read the following story:
I just met a delightful woman walking her equally delightful dogs and we stopped to chat. I started to tell her about the joy event (if you missed it, send me an email and we will send you a taste of what you missed). Anyway, the conversation quickly turned to her feeling really taken advantage of by a very close family member. This person insists on smoking in her house, even though she has been repeatedly told not to. She engages in harmful drug behaviors and has people scrambling to always save her from herself. She even intentionally ruins the good fortunes of others with every trick at her disposal.
This person is an excellent teacher…. Do you have any such teachers in your life?

For example…
People who constantly borrow money?
People who continually dump their emotional bilge all over you?
People who are always complaining about their job but won’t make any changes?
People who must have all the attention on themselves because their life is the only thing worthwhile?

WHAT EXACTLY DO these people teach us? What could we possible learn from emotionally draining situations such as this?
Well the answer to this question is both simple and complicated.
The simple answer is this: They are here to teach us to mind our own business and live our own lives.
The complicated answer is this: What kind of life do you want and do you have the courage to step completely into it?

Let’s take the complicated answer first.

Take some time to answer these questions.

What would your LIFE look like if this person were NOT in your life?

How would you live differently?

What actions would you not have to take?
How would your emotional state of health look like?
Would you be happier if you did not have to constantly care take the emotional abuser?
Do you know what emotional abuse is?
Are there others in your life that you take emotional abuse from?
What wonderful projects would you invest the emotional energy that you are saving?

Now, the simple answer….
All the above answers are YOUR business.
All the above answers are the WAY YOU WANT to LIVE your own life.
NOW DO IT!
There is no time to waste.
Life is shorter than you think.
If not now, when?
If you won’t take responsibility for your happiness who will or more importantly who should?

Love and light, Indrani.

Joy goes on even if a loved one does not.

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A friend of mine recently lost his wife to a 14 year battle with cancer. Through those years he demonstrated joy, love, caring, passion, devotion, dedication…. the list goes on. He seemed to be super human in his caring and compassion for his wife. He made her every day a celebration.

Since her passing he has been working on getting life back together. A life without doctors, chemotherapy and the stress of the impending end. The furniture of their house and his life has now been moved around for the next chapter, for the future.

Some people say he is not grieving enough.

Are there time limits? Grieving rules written somewhere? Whose to say how long anyone should grieve?

His wife would want him to live life without her with as much joy as he did with her by his side.