Tag Archives: love

The Alchemy of Friendship

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A few months ago, I was fortunate enough to spend about 5 days with a friend. Just us two! We worked side by side, we checked in with each other, we had meals together and we walked around NY together. It was easy, fun, light and sweet!

It had been so long that I had felt such peace of mind with someone that it made my knees weak, my heart smile and my life expansive.

As I age I have been fortunate enough to meet some like-minded people with whom I can connect on a soul level and speak about the deeper issues of life.
Their love of and for me changes me in a positive and powerful way.
My love and acceptance of them changes me in much the same way.
We are social beings!
We run in packs!
We need our posses!

We cannot allow ourselves to be isolated from our fellow humans and we cannot fool ourselves into thinking that we a solitary creatures.
When you feel you are being disconnected from yourself it may be because you have been disconnected from others.
To see your goodness reflected in the eyes of a friend affirms your self-worth. It makes small moments LARGE. It makes little things BIG and it fills you with warmth and contentment.
If you have isolated yourself over the course of a few weeks, months or a lifetime, it is time for reinsertion.
Find like- minded people and form a group that meets regularly.
Your family can do without you a few nights a week!
If you don’t have a family, better yet, make a new family of like-minded people.
Get your gang together.
Have coffee and cake.

Last year I was in Sweden and they have a thing they call Fika.
It is when friends get together for coffee and cake!
Imagine….it is so ingrained that there is a word that means “Celebrate friendship.”
Go have a Fika with a new friend.

Love and light,
Indrani

Hello friend, I honor your internal war….

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woman-meditating via meditationindarlington.orgEmerson,
“Whenever you meet anyone, remember they are going through a great war”.

If we could only keep this statement in mind when we rush to judge people.

We interact, draw conclusions and we act as if those conclusions were actual fact.
We create arguments around the made up facts.
We play judge and jury based on these fictional arguments.
We, unfortunately, even forget that we have our own internal war.
What could happen if we stepped out of concluding about others behaviors and stepped into the humanity that surrounds us all?
What could happen if we thought the best of people instead of the worst?
What could happen if….
The “what could happen” list is endless.

Here is the best what could happen question….

What could happen if you decided to be the best YOU and leave everything else on the table?

What a sweet world that would be.
Do we dare IMAGINE?

John Lennon had it right alright, “IMAGINE”!
Please, let’s imagine.

 

Love and light,
Indrani

Words matter…..

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Coming out of Zumba today, a woman my age looks at me and says, “One day I am going to be able to move like that 25 year old teacher.”

I say, “One day I will not be able to move as well as I do today.”

She looks at me and says, “Oh God, I need to appreciate what I can do today!”

Positive Psych in the house!

 

Please watch the video below. How would you describe yourself? Feel free to post your response in the comment section below.

Do you see yourself as other see you?

Are you your own worst critic?

Dove

Lessons from Olga…..

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She wouldn’t accept my offer of a bracelet.
She wouldn’t let me make a crown for her.
She refused to come closer.
She was one of the 200 or so students in one of the orphanages that my clown group visited.

There I was sitting on a step, making crowns from pipe cleaners.  The kids were lined up for their crowns….girls, boys, small, big, some young and some older.

I am not sure when she decided to come closer, but there she was and ready for a crown.
I crafted her crown carefully and with an extra dose of gratitude for trusting that I would not harm her.

When the pipe cleaners were finished, I started making beaded bracelets for everyone. I made hers first and she carefully selected her beads from the small baggies that sat precipitously on my lap. As the kids realized that something new was being given, they quickly swarmed and began demanding their bracelet. She became my helper and as kids requested the color of beads, “rojo, verde, azul, blanco”. She quietly and efficiently fished the correct bead from the baggie and gave it to me to thread on the multi-colored string.

I hugged her and said, “Adios” and thanked her for her help. She smiled and her eyes twinkled.

The magic of this connection was that she did not know if she cared to connect or even if she trusted me. I did not base my success that morning on whether or not she would accept my gifts. I was there, loving and giving without thought as to what her role should or ought to be.

Should she be grateful that I had come all the way from America to visit that orphanage?
Should she care that I had spent money on these pipe cleaners and the baggie of beads?
No!
Her only job was to be herself.
My job was to be loving and present and joyful.
We both did our jobs well.

Now if only I can remember to practice this giving of myself in a pure and unattached way. A way that says, I am here for you, if you’d like to come closer.
A way that allows me to KNOW that chasing you or begging you or demanding of you to be a certain way is just unacceptable.
A way that tells me you are responsible for whom and what you accept from me.
A way that shows me to stay true to me and allow you to stay true to you and hope that in our separate trueness we can still share love, peace and harmony.

Thanks Olga, for these big lessons.
I will hold your smile in my heart forever.
May you be well.
May you be happy.
May you be peaceful and at ease.
May you be free.

Love and light,
Indrani

A Chameleon of the first order…

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Do you have to be a different person to appease certain people? Have you ever experienced anxiety when visiting certain folks or when certain folks visit you? Have you chameleon via kaibara87 on Flickrever had to pretend to be something you are not?

Do you like who you are? Are you surrounded by people who truly appreciate who you are?

Make a short of list of people that you can be yourself around.
Over the course of the next few weeks, keep note of how often you see those people or how often you speak to them. (And I’m not talking on Facebook.)

Make another list of people with whom you feel squeezed and anxious and make note of how much time you spend with them.

The first list needs to be the people with whom you are hanging out with….and I mean investing time with them.
If people on the second list are at work and you feel stuck then ask yourself how you can create or craft different relationships with some of them or even one of them.
Often times, we think we know a person, but we really have no idea of whom or what they really are.
Can you find a way to go deeper into curiosity about someone on the second list?

There was a time in my life when the first list was almost non-existent and I longed for such people in my life. I longed for people with whom I could cry and laugh out loud and not be judged. I created intentions to attract such people into my life. I imagined what it would be like to feel supported and unconditionally loved and I sat in meditation and sent energy to those who wanted to find me. It took a while longer than I hoped but now I look at my first list of supportive friends and I break into a huge grin.

Just the other day, I had a day of deep sadness and grief. I called two people, not to come running, but just to listen to me….AND they came running!
I offer thanks to KW and JC for all their love and support. I needed you and you were there!
I am a lucky woman.

Dear reader,

You can have support as well. All you have to do is envision the type of people you want to be surrounded by and then become to others what you want to attract to yourself.

Love and light,
Indrani

Cleaning MY side of the street…

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Cleaning MY side of the street..

I have been given an amazing opportunity to clean up some “stuff”.
Relational “stuff”… the kind that is easier to let fester and rot and stay away from. The kind that is easy to not think about…the kind that makes it easy to keep myself busy with other “stuff”.
I am one lucky woman!

In speaking to a mentor about how to clean up my side of the street and how to find the mess that I contributed…I began to see how it is easy to avoid personal responsibility for the “stuff” of life. My mentor allowed me to speak at length about the whole dang thing and then he asked simple questions?

How was that your business?
When did you begin to move in fear?
Did you know that as soon as fear appears, trust and love disappears?

WOW…I intellectually knew all of this, of course, but to suspend judgment of self and others and to bear witness to my process was
fascinating. I could “see” myself doing the dance, saying the words, feeling the emotions. I saw it all, EXCEPT the fear.
The fear crept in, got comfy and seduced me with “I know what’s best here, leave it up to me.” I listened, I allowed fear to speak AND I was not aware of it.

It all boils down to this…I was not aware that I was in the state of vulnerability.

I was scared and vulnerable and confused and yes, afraid.

One of the biggest gifts we can give to ourselves is to have a partner to converse with….to help us keep things in check. Playing the same tape in our own heads just means that the record is stuck and making a deeper RUT. The neuro-pathway is getting more deeply etched and we can never get any more clarity without bringing some fresh, qualified thoughts to the situation.

If you have a relationship that is in jeopardy, then you have to clean up YOUR side of the street.
Their side of the street is their business.
Put on your overalls and your work boots and maybe even some gloves (not boxing gloves) because you may get dirtier before you get any cleaner.

This is not recommended if you expect to be fault free.

Happy cleaning!

Love and light,

Indrani

In the darkest hours…you must love yourself.

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In the darkest hours…you must love yourself.

When you have convinced yourself (or have been convinced by someone else) that you are:
Not worthy
Stupid
Ignorant
Ugly
Frigid
Barren
Undeserving of love

The list goes on…

You MUST find something in you that you like.

Perhaps you like your:
Smile
Laugh
Skin
Inner strength
Compassionate nature

This list can go on also.

You must focus on one or a few positives and drive all of the rest from your mind and heart.
Write in a journal about your past successes or people who still love you.
Find a few things to be grateful for and write them down.

These simple actions will help you to see some light through the darkness.
Trust me, it works.

Love and light,
Indrani

Teachers, your words have tremendous power…

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I just heard an 18 year old on THE VOICE whose singing made me smile.

What he said about is 8th grade teacher, however, made me cringe and weep.

She told him he would never amount to anything!

Blake Shelton said “SCREW HER!” Adam Levine asked “What’s her name?” The classy young man decided not to reveal the teacher’s identity and said “I do not want to do that”.

I hope she knows that she has LET DOWN her entire profession.

Why do some adults act like the children that they are supposed to be helping? An 8th grader may act up, be mouthy and whatever else… that is a rite of passage. He/she at least has an excuse….THEY ARE CHILDREN!

What excuses do the adults give themselves when they show these kids what adults are NOT.

For everyone who reads this, you probably have a memory of a teacher who was less than supportive. Take this moment to send light to that person as you pat yourself on your own back for having the courage to not give up.

If you did give up because of what some idiot teacher said, send them healing light and clothe yourself in light. You are bright and brilliant and you deserve all the success you desire.

Love & light,

Indrani

Remember your purpose….

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Sometimes, in the privacy of our own homes and the lonesome feelings of our own heads, we MAY be tempted to give up the fight, path, journey, struggle. A small voice might say…What’s the use? You are just spinning your wheels in mud….who do you really think you are?

Has this ever happened to you?

If so, close your eyes, take a few deep breaths and ask yourself these simple questions?

Why are you doing this thing that you are doing?
Who will suffer if you give up?
Can you help just ONE other person?

Take time to answer the questions.
I believe that you will find the strength to go on for one more day.
Many years ago, in the midst of my darkest days the LOVE for my children kept me holding on by my finger nails.
I am so glad my finger nails were strong! I bet yours are too!