Tag Archives: self respect

A BILL OF RIGHTS FOR DREAMS…

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Dear (insert your name)

I am every one of your Dreams. I want to tell you about my Bill of Rights, you see, you may have forgotten that I have a Bill of Rights!

I do not mean to offend you BUT I want you to know that

  1. I deserve to be let out of the darkness of non-fulfillment
  2. I have something wonderful to teach the world
  3. YOUR Joy is my ONLY concern
  4. I Know that you are doing your best, allow me to be my best
  5. My work is VERY important

I know that there are more years than you care to remember when you were too tired to invest thought and energy into making me real. I want to tell you that 2011 is the year of my coming OUT.

I have tried to get your attention by displaying odd behaviors such as

over eating,

chronic fatigue

depression

anxiety

you get the idea.

I really thought that if you felt uncomfortable you would figure it out and take some real action. BUT you think that another diet,more material stuff,affairs, and a better body can fix the sadness. You have learned that this only makes it worse.

PLEASE, please take some time to sit in meditation and listen to me! Please, if you listen to what I have to say I can really help you out of the pickle you are in.

If you choose to NOT listen, I will take more drastic action until I get your attention.

Sincerely

Your Dreams!

Celebrating flaws…

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A friend sent this to me and I thought that it is worth sharing 🙂

An elderly Indian woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck. One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walks from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.

For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments.  But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do ha lf of what it had been made to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream. “I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house.” The old woman smiled, “Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot’s side? That’s because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them.For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house.”

Each of us has our own unique flaws. But it’s the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. We’ve just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them. SO, to all of you,my cracked pot friends, have a great day, a wonderful year ahead, and remember to smell the flowers on your side of the path! 🙂

Happy 2011 to you and yours! I respect and love you the way you are and for all the caring things that you do each day in your life for your community and all your loved ones. Thank you for being a part of my life and having impacted me in a unique and wonderful way that you may not even be aware of!

Thank you to Sheela for this story. I could not have found a better message.

love and light

Indrani

Gifts to myself…

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I have to tell you, I do not need another SINGLE material possession!

I have enough STUFF for 10 lifetimes!

This year here is what I intend to wrap up and place under the tree… a deep remembering to

  • Use all the colors in my paint box called life.
  • Do my work without regret
  • Work with abandon
  • Take some risks with my business/life… like crossing the Capilano Suspension Bridge! and creating a non profit foundation.
  • Seek to see something else…
  • Allow my process to unfold
  • Go Big, whatever that means to ME!
  • Live with passion and purpose
  • Be a contributor when I can and a receiver when I need
  • Be unforgettable
  • Be Myself
  • Allow my mistakes to be my teacher
  • See the invisible, the what is not yet here but wants/needs to be created
  • Think out loud
  • Live out loud
  • Laugh out loud!!!!
  • Say NO as often as I need to so I can be HEARD!
  • Say Yes as often as I want to
  • Say THANKS often

Let me then say THANKS to you are for reading this and other musings. I am so very grateful that you share a little of your time with me.

If these gifts work for you… print this and keep it out in the open.

Love and light

Indrani

NO NO NO NO NO… how to hold to your NO and respect the other!

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OK, here it is. Early morning call from a company that I had sent in a BIO to. I sent in my info because the offer said ” NO PURCHASE REQUIRED!”

The caller was delightful, she is from NY and so am I. She loves NY and so do I. She asked me lots of questions about my business, my career and hobbies and THEN

” Well Indrani, we have over 4000,000 members that you can network with so for $793.00 you can have a lifetime membership and you never have to apply again.”

I reply” I must speak with my business partner first…”

She continues” you know we have lost of people to speak to and if we waited for everyone we would never get the book published”

I say, ” In that case this is not for me”

We go back and forth, I get offered a 500.00 deal but she will throw in the add ons… NO

Again another offer, ok we have a 300.00…. NO

I say” Thank you for doing such a great job of giving me a wonderful chance to stand in my NO”.

She is taken aback but only for a moment ” I just want you to hear how great this opportunity is, 1000’s of people apply and we only accept a few…”

I say” I am hearing you, but you do not seem to be hearing me when I say NO”

I eventually complimented her on the great job she did for the company in attempting to convert me from a possibility into a paying client. She is a great employee. She had all her reasons down pat as to why I SHOULD buy her item!

I still may buy, but first I will do my research. I will not be squeezed into giving my money away.

Here is the anatomy of How to Stick to your NO

1. KNOW why you are saying NO.

2. Know what you are saying YES to when you say your NO.

3. Compliment the asker so they do not take it as a personal rejection.

4. Repeat your NO as OFTEN as it takes for you to be HEARD!

5. If none of the above works… then hang up/leave the room/close off your energy. And DO NOT JUDGE YOURSELF FOR BEING A BAD PERSON.

Love and light

Indrani

The A B C’s of my Life… what’s yours?

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Lets borrow a page from our days of NOT KNOWING MUCH, even the ABC’s and get out from the DAZE of THINKING WE KNOW SO MUCH

lets re- learn our ABC’s

A/ASSERTIVE

B/BRAVE

C/CURIOUS

D/DYNAMIC

E/EMPATHETIC

F/FORGIVING

G/GENEROUS

H/HUMOROUS

I/INSPIRATIONAL

J/JOYFUL

K/KIND

L/LOVING

M/MINDFUL

N/NOURISHING

O/OPTIMISTIC

P/PASSIONATE

Q/QUESTIONING

R/REFLECTIVE

S/STEADY

T/TENACIOUS

U/UPLIFTING

V/VIBRANT

W/WISE

X/eXCITED

Y/non YELLING

Z/ZESTFUL

I invite you to CREATE YOUR OWN ABC BRAG LIST.

What would life look like if you only lived those traits and let go of the negative.

love and light

Indrani

WHEN IS THE TRUTH just another LIE?

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A Few years ago, while my children were in elementary school, one of my neighbors had a Christmas cookie exchange.

This woman had just applied to our school for her daughter and had not been accepted. NOTICE I did not say rejected. NO ONE CAN REJECT YOU WITH OUT YOUR PERMISSION!

As the evening progressed, and the wine flowed and the gossip… oops… “talk” became more dramatic, this woman, lets call her Janet, had a big revelation about our school.

This was it… she KNEW on excellent AUTHORITY, that our High School Kids were ALL having sex behind the Gym.

REALLY?

” YES” she expounded ” REALLY!”

There were several Moms at this party whose kids went to the school in question. I noticed that NOT a SINGLE one of us tried to refute this woman… including myself. She went on and on and…. then something came to life in me!

I KNEW that taking her on directly would be a mistake. Then it would be a side show. So here is what the conversation looked like for the next few minutes…

Me ” Wow Janet, this is really BAD. This school is really allowing such behavior?”

Janet ” Yes, it is and that is why we have decided that it is a GOOD thing that we will not be going there!”

Me” I am so grateful to you for pointing this out. I don’t know if you KNOW that I am GREAT friends with the Head Master and The Admissions Director”… I was not this was a LIE!… ” so I am going to call them up tomorrow and tell them what YOU have DISCOVERED  and tell them to CALL you for more details, since you clearly are CONCERNED  for our High School Kids. And I will also TELL them that you are RELIEVED that you were REJECTED” by the school. OH Janet, Thanks for caring for our kids.”

YOU COULD HEAR A PIN DROP!

All eyes were trained on her and we all waited for her response.

Her jaw dropped to the ground and NO WORDS were coming out of her mouth.

She tried to catch her breath and finally said

” Well, I , umm, well I don’t think, well you see I really don’t…” I went to get some more wine and I did not hear what else she had to say.

I left shortly after and did not get invited to any more cookie exchanges.

PLEASE  do yourself a favor this holiday

When someone presents you with AN IRREFUTABLE TRUTH… please take a page from my book and offer to do them a favor by broadcasting it to their whole world!

WHY?

BECAUSE IF SOMETHING IS TRUE… IT IS TRUE and we should stand by it! Otherwise it is malicious gossip and that is toxic to our soul.

Indrani, the Lexus salesman and my NY bitch…aren’t you curious?

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Ok How do I begin to tell the story of Me, the Lexus salesman and the emergence of my inner bitch? Sing this line as in the theme from Love Story, (LOL).

Let me set the stage.

My car ( a Lexus) was not behaving well and I took it in this morning for a quick once over. I did not have an appointment. I inquired at the sales desk as to who could help me. As I was speaking, an employee ( don’t know what he was as he did not introduce himself or tell me his name), walked by. He said that he would take a look.

I asked him if he wanted the keys. He did not respond, instead he said ” open the trunk.” I opened the truck and he fiddled around. He closed the trunk and went into the interior of the car and fiddled some more. At this point I sat on a bench at observed. He then held out his hand and I imagined that he meant ” give me the keys” so I gave him the keys. PLEASE note that about 7 minutes have passed and still not a single word spoken to me.

He took the keys and sat in the driver seat, turned on the car and showed that the issue was fixed.

He exited the car and was giving back the keys and I asked ” What was the problem?” He explained the problem and reached into his pocket and extracted what looked like his wallet. He ( with head bent looking at his wallet, not at me) said ” Your salesperson is no longer here so here is…” and he began to extract his card.

If I were you, dear reader, I would be asking

“How does he know Indrani’s sales person?”

“Does he know Indrani?”

Glad you asked, because those were my internal questions exactly.

I stopped him from retrieving the card and said ” I want to speak to the manager, because I would like a female sales person.”

He kept out the wallet and said

” I have been here for 10 years and I can very capable. Would it help if I spoke in a high pitched voice?”

Dear reader, you have read this correctly. I was taken aback for about 30 seconds and then I decided to explain what had transpired over the last 15 minutes or so.

I said ” You have not  told me your name, you did not answer me when I asked you a question and you never shook my hand”

He then TURNED HIS BACK IN A HUFF and walked away saying “I DON’T NEED TO DEAL WITH YOU”

AND THAT’S WHEN SHE APPEARED, THE NY BITCH!!!…

I then ( in a raised voice) said ” This is exactly why I want a female sales person”

I followed him into the dealership, he walked away, I stopped at the desk to ask for a manager. The receptionist took me to the sales manager and the huffy salesman was there telling his story,  ” she said that I…” and I walked on in.

I walked right up to the managers’ desk and raised my voice over Mr Huffy and said ” Yes, this is the SHE and I will also tell you what happened”.

The manager listened and was delightful. He could not believe that Mr Huffy had asked if he could use a ‘high pitched’ voice. I wondered to the manager if he ( Mr Huffy) also wanted to grow breasts. We both howled out loud at my musing.

Ok, so are you divided on how to take this? Do you think I made a mountain out of a mole hill?

Here is my breakdown:

Mr Huffy, even though he helped me fix my problem, never created the beginning of a relationship. He did not introduce himself even after he had fixed the car and had already  stepped into the helper role. The business of sales is to create relationships. He had a perfect platform to do so and instead he treated himself like a non professional.

He clearly expected me to just take his card and give my undying devotion ( I have owned Lexus cars for the past 12 years).

He was disparaging to the way he thinks women speak, as in high pitched voice, even as he knew I wanted to deal with a female. Therefore he was insulting to me!

He could not listen to me as I told him about the manner the past few minutes had transpired, and he very rudely turned his back and walked away as though he could dismiss me.

Here is my unshakable truth:

I expect to give respect and to get respect from each person I encounter.

If someone wants my business ( read money) I expect that person to look me in the eye, introduce himselfherself and ask my name. I expect to create something that is unique before they expect to receive money from me.

If I want to be dismissed, I could get that from my own family, I certainly don’t need to seek it from strangers.

Whether you agree with me or not, I urge you to STAND FOR YOU RIGHTS AND CREATE AN ENVIRONMENT that supports your  right to be respected and not dismissed.

Let me know what you think.

love and light

Indrani