Tag Archives: truthful speech

A Peek into my Gratitude process

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I have used the MOLESKIN 12-pack calendar this whole year to make it easy for me to record the things that I am grateful for at the end of each day.

These little books are small enough to travel with and IF it gets lost I am only losing about 1 month’s worth of items. I TRY to keep my nightstand clean ( Ahem.. I cleaned it up for the photo!) and I see the small book right there and I remember to put something in.

Here is a sample of some of the things I have been grateful for this year:

Jan 2nd 2010

  • Rolled down a HILL for first time in 30 years
  • Played Wii with Mo John and had tones of fun

April 7th 2010

  • Buddha story on PBS left me feeling so peaceful. I meditated before I went to sleep.

July 7th 2010

  • Did my first Energy Forum class. I am so happy to share this work.

September 19th 2010

  • Lovely day to “fight” away “poor me” thoughts.
  • Nice dinner with Anita and wonderful chat with Racha
  • Grateful for secure home, alarm system, Wolf, Andrea Lee, new client.

So as you can see, I don’t have to write long epistles of gratitude. And guess what… just rereading those few random entries brought a smile to my face and heart.

Here are some other ideas for starting a Gratitude practice  or refining one already in place:

  • Hope that you find some joy and spaciousness with your gratitude practice: Moleskine 2011 12 Month Color A Month Daily Planner
  • Online: Search for “Gratitude Journal app”, several are available under itunes/appstore for iPhone, iTouch, and iPad.  They are also available for Android based smartphones, search for “Gratitude Journal for Android”.

Love and Light,

Indrani

WHEN IS THE TRUTH just another LIE?

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A Few years ago, while my children were in elementary school, one of my neighbors had a Christmas cookie exchange.

This woman had just applied to our school for her daughter and had not been accepted. NOTICE I did not say rejected. NO ONE CAN REJECT YOU WITH OUT YOUR PERMISSION!

As the evening progressed, and the wine flowed and the gossip… oops… “talk” became more dramatic, this woman, lets call her Janet, had a big revelation about our school.

This was it… she KNEW on excellent AUTHORITY, that our High School Kids were ALL having sex behind the Gym.

REALLY?

” YES” she expounded ” REALLY!”

There were several Moms at this party whose kids went to the school in question. I noticed that NOT a SINGLE one of us tried to refute this woman… including myself. She went on and on and…. then something came to life in me!

I KNEW that taking her on directly would be a mistake. Then it would be a side show. So here is what the conversation looked like for the next few minutes…

Me ” Wow Janet, this is really BAD. This school is really allowing such behavior?”

Janet ” Yes, it is and that is why we have decided that it is a GOOD thing that we will not be going there!”

Me” I am so grateful to you for pointing this out. I don’t know if you KNOW that I am GREAT friends with the Head Master and The Admissions Director”… I was not this was a LIE!… ” so I am going to call them up tomorrow and tell them what YOU have DISCOVERED  and tell them to CALL you for more details, since you clearly are CONCERNED  for our High School Kids. And I will also TELL them that you are RELIEVED that you were REJECTED” by the school. OH Janet, Thanks for caring for our kids.”

YOU COULD HEAR A PIN DROP!

All eyes were trained on her and we all waited for her response.

Her jaw dropped to the ground and NO WORDS were coming out of her mouth.

She tried to catch her breath and finally said

” Well, I , umm, well I don’t think, well you see I really don’t…” I went to get some more wine and I did not hear what else she had to say.

I left shortly after and did not get invited to any more cookie exchanges.

PLEASE  do yourself a favor this holiday

When someone presents you with AN IRREFUTABLE TRUTH… please take a page from my book and offer to do them a favor by broadcasting it to their whole world!

WHY?

BECAUSE IF SOMETHING IS TRUE… IT IS TRUE and we should stand by it! Otherwise it is malicious gossip and that is toxic to our soul.

HAPPY DIWALI… The festival of Light

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This past weekend was the Hindu festival of Diwali. I have a dear friend who knows much about her roots (unlike me!) and I asked her to send me the true meaning of this wonderful festival ( see below).

As I was re educating myself with the True meaning of Diwali, I had many moments of awareness. Diwali is the celebration of inner light but it is the outer light that we see. We light lamps, candles, even strings of Christmas lights to show that we are inviting light into our homes and hearts. I remember as a child growing up in Trinidad, I would fill clay pots with oil and roll cotton into wicks and place them all along the edges of the garden. It was magical.

Then in later years when I went to India and saw strings of Christmas lights I was disappointed that the original clay pots were not being used.  I was told that the fire hazard was too great. OK, that makes sense.

Thank you to Bindya for the wonderful description below.

The name Diwali is itself a contraction of the word “Deepavali” (Sanskrit: दीपावली Dīpāvalī), which translates into row of lamps. Diwali involves the lighting of small clay lamps (diyas) filled with oil to signify the triumph of good over evil. During Diwali, all the celebrants wear new clothes and share sweets and snacks with family members and friends.

While Deepavali is popularly known as the “festival of lights”, the most significant spiritual meaning is “the awareness of the inner light”. Central to Hindu philosophy is the assertion that there is something beyond the physical body and mind which is pure, infinite, and eternal, called the Atman. The celebration of Deepavali as the “victory of good over evil”, refers to the light of higher knowledge dispelling all ignorance, the ignorance that masks one’s true nature, not as the body, but as the unchanging, infinite, immanent and transcendent reality. With this awakening comes compassion and the awareness of the oneness of all things (higher knowledge). This brings Ananda (joy or peace). Just as we celebrate the birth of our physical being, Deepavali is the celebration of this Inner Light.

While the story behind Deepavali and the manner of celebration varies from region to region (festive fireworks, worship, lights, sharing of sweets), the essence is the same – to rejoice in the Inner Light (Atman) or the underlying Reality of all things (Brahman).

Deepavali marks the end of the harvest season in most of India. Farmers give thanks for the bounty of the year gone by, and pray for a good harvest for the year to come. Traditionally this marked the closing of accounts for businesses dependent on the agrarian cycle, and is the last major celebration before winter. Lakshmi symbolizes wealth and prosperity, and her blessings are invoked for a good year ahead.

As per spiritual references, on this day “Lakshmi-panchayatan” enters the Universe. Vishnu, Indra, Kubera, Gajendra and Lakshmi are elements of this “panchayatan” (a group of five). The tasks of these elements are:

  • Lakshmi:        Divine Energy (Shakti) which provides energy to all the above activities.
  • Vishnu:            Happiness (happiness and satisfaction)
  • Kubera:            Wealth (generosity; one who shares wealth)
  • Indra:                Opulence (satisfaction due to wealth)
  • Gajendra:        Carries the wealth

Diwali commemorates the return of Lord Rama along with Sita and Lakshman from his fourteen year long exile and vanquishing the demon-king Ravana. In joyous celebration of the return of their king, the people of Ayodhya, the Capital of Rama, illuminated the kingdom with earthen diyas (oil lamps) and burst crackers.

If you are as amazed with the symbolism as I am here are some practical steps to make the symbolic real.

1. Know that WEALTH first means emotional and spiritual wealth. To make ourselves vulnerable enough to admit that at times we are emotionally and spiritually bankrupt is no easy thing.

2. Be courageous enough to wipe the slate clean of old hurts and toxicities in your life. This does not mean to go back to being abused or back into the path of destructive people, but to learn the lessons and allow yourself to make better decisions the next time. The holiday season is upon us, make different decisions for your self this year ones that will not drain you emotionally, spiritually or financially.

3.FORGIVE YOURSELF for everything you think you have done wrong.

4. Set an intention… a clear intention, to attract new wealth into your life. What elements in your life do you want to be different? Into what parts of your life are you inviting more abundance?

5. CLEAR out the cobwebs in your thinking so you will recognize abundance when you see it. I had an epiphany about my physical abundance during the summer when I was fussing about my fat upper arms and saw a woman who had been burnt on 70 percent of her body and she was happy to wear short sleeves. What a wake up call to me!

NAMASTE… The Light in me sees and respects the Light in YOU.

Indrani, the Lexus salesman and my NY bitch…aren’t you curious?

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Ok How do I begin to tell the story of Me, the Lexus salesman and the emergence of my inner bitch? Sing this line as in the theme from Love Story, (LOL).

Let me set the stage.

My car ( a Lexus) was not behaving well and I took it in this morning for a quick once over. I did not have an appointment. I inquired at the sales desk as to who could help me. As I was speaking, an employee ( don’t know what he was as he did not introduce himself or tell me his name), walked by. He said that he would take a look.

I asked him if he wanted the keys. He did not respond, instead he said ” open the trunk.” I opened the truck and he fiddled around. He closed the trunk and went into the interior of the car and fiddled some more. At this point I sat on a bench at observed. He then held out his hand and I imagined that he meant ” give me the keys” so I gave him the keys. PLEASE note that about 7 minutes have passed and still not a single word spoken to me.

He took the keys and sat in the driver seat, turned on the car and showed that the issue was fixed.

He exited the car and was giving back the keys and I asked ” What was the problem?” He explained the problem and reached into his pocket and extracted what looked like his wallet. He ( with head bent looking at his wallet, not at me) said ” Your salesperson is no longer here so here is…” and he began to extract his card.

If I were you, dear reader, I would be asking

“How does he know Indrani’s sales person?”

“Does he know Indrani?”

Glad you asked, because those were my internal questions exactly.

I stopped him from retrieving the card and said ” I want to speak to the manager, because I would like a female sales person.”

He kept out the wallet and said

” I have been here for 10 years and I can very capable. Would it help if I spoke in a high pitched voice?”

Dear reader, you have read this correctly. I was taken aback for about 30 seconds and then I decided to explain what had transpired over the last 15 minutes or so.

I said ” You have not  told me your name, you did not answer me when I asked you a question and you never shook my hand”

He then TURNED HIS BACK IN A HUFF and walked away saying “I DON’T NEED TO DEAL WITH YOU”

AND THAT’S WHEN SHE APPEARED, THE NY BITCH!!!…

I then ( in a raised voice) said ” This is exactly why I want a female sales person”

I followed him into the dealership, he walked away, I stopped at the desk to ask for a manager. The receptionist took me to the sales manager and the huffy salesman was there telling his story,  ” she said that I…” and I walked on in.

I walked right up to the managers’ desk and raised my voice over Mr Huffy and said ” Yes, this is the SHE and I will also tell you what happened”.

The manager listened and was delightful. He could not believe that Mr Huffy had asked if he could use a ‘high pitched’ voice. I wondered to the manager if he ( Mr Huffy) also wanted to grow breasts. We both howled out loud at my musing.

Ok, so are you divided on how to take this? Do you think I made a mountain out of a mole hill?

Here is my breakdown:

Mr Huffy, even though he helped me fix my problem, never created the beginning of a relationship. He did not introduce himself even after he had fixed the car and had already  stepped into the helper role. The business of sales is to create relationships. He had a perfect platform to do so and instead he treated himself like a non professional.

He clearly expected me to just take his card and give my undying devotion ( I have owned Lexus cars for the past 12 years).

He was disparaging to the way he thinks women speak, as in high pitched voice, even as he knew I wanted to deal with a female. Therefore he was insulting to me!

He could not listen to me as I told him about the manner the past few minutes had transpired, and he very rudely turned his back and walked away as though he could dismiss me.

Here is my unshakable truth:

I expect to give respect and to get respect from each person I encounter.

If someone wants my business ( read money) I expect that person to look me in the eye, introduce himselfherself and ask my name. I expect to create something that is unique before they expect to receive money from me.

If I want to be dismissed, I could get that from my own family, I certainly don’t need to seek it from strangers.

Whether you agree with me or not, I urge you to STAND FOR YOU RIGHTS AND CREATE AN ENVIRONMENT that supports your  right to be respected and not dismissed.

Let me know what you think.

love and light

Indrani

The Shadow of ” You’re only supposed to …”

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This weekend I happened upon one of my favorite movies.

It is YENTL. If you have never seen it… please rectify this immediately!

The story is about a Jewish woman who pretends to be a boy so that she can go to school and study the TORAH.

Barbara Streisand plays the woman who tricks the whole village. The question that Yentl asks over and over is simply this

”  Why do I have a mind if not to question why”

Some of the powerful lyrics in the song called “Where is it written” are

” where do I belong in the scheme of things…why have a mind if not to question why? what is it that I am meant to be? that I can dare to have the chance to pick the fruit of every tree”

I first saw this movie when I was just a few years in this country. I realize now that I had been asking these very questions all my life.

Why are we pigeon-holed?

Why are we told that we can be this thing and not that thing?

I came to this country in 1974 and women were asking these very questions. Why are we still asking them now? Why do we not have the RIGHTS to be all that we can be?

Can we give ourselves the permission to have UNMITIGATED GALL  in asking for what we want? Or must we play the game of using “mitigated speech” ( when we down play what we want or use hints not daring to ask directly) to get what we desire at a deep level.

When we beat around the bush and not give ourselves  permission to ask directly, without anger, or fear for what we want, who are we placating, hurting,putting on a pedestal or back burner?

The next time you want something that you know is right for you and you feel fear when you think about asking for it, try asking yourself these questions.

1. Who do I fear?

2.What do I fear may happen? ( if this answer involves physical/ emotional abuse call a shelter IMMEDIATELY)

3. What could happen if I do this thing without permission?

4. Where did I learn that I need permission and how do I know that those messages were right?

5. What am I willing to sacrifice to live life on my own terms?

6. How old do I have to be to take my rights as a human being?

7. Who determines the kind of life I must lead?

8. If I do not respect my own dreams who can I expect to respect them?

9. Do I love myself?

10. Do I absolutely love myself?

Do now worry if you cannot answer all these questions. Just the fact that you are willing to to even think about them is growth. Give yourself some space to think and to grow. Allow yourself to dare to dream and “the dare to question” time will come, when you are ready and not a moment before!

love and light

Indrani

A tip from BP and the Gulf Disaster… talking is not enough…

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In the newspaper this morning, I was reading about the BP exec who will step down on OCT 1st as a direct result of how he handled the oil spill in the Gulf. I am not any sort of engineer nor do I like science very much so I did not really expect to get any “personal lessons” from the article. THEN, bingo, there it was. ” We had endless conversations about safety but not a lot about execution.”

WOW, what a great lesson for all of us, not about safety but about dreams, goals, personal investments… and this is how it looks.

I met someone last week so said, ” I would love to travel and see the world but I do not ever have any money.” My mind flashed back to a conversation with this same person just a few weeks ago who had spent ” thousands on fireworks for 4th of July” and a few years ago who said ” I go to Las Vegas about twice per year and spend a minimum of $5,000.00.”

Ok, lets do the very simple math. In just one year, $10,000 PLUS $2,000… ummm $12,000!  This is not counting airfare and hotel room or food!

I was curious about costs to travel to lets say Paris this year so I checked on line. Air about $8000.00/ hotels were all over the map on pricing. From previous trips to France I know that the “metro”, the subway is dirt cheap. I also know that people watching at a little sidewalk cafe is free except for the price of a ” cafe au lait and an exquisite croissant.”

How can we all learn a lesson from that simple sentence in the paper about BP? Here is how!

Stop talking about what your plans are and start making concrete plans to EXECUTE! Yea, you heard me, stop blowing smoke or oil or whatever you want to call it and take responsibility for making your dreams come true….

If you have no clue how to stop the endless cycle of “talk” and start the new ” get it done” behaviors, here is a place to start.

GO PUBLIC. Tell a whole bunch of people that you want to be held accountable for doing something different with your life. Tell them to STOP you when you begin to blow smoke and ask you this simple question.

“So what ARE you going to do about it?”

It is a big leap from “just talk” to “personal responsibility”. It’s got to start somewhere right? Start TODAY.

Taking positive steps to your better life is the best way to LOVE YOURSELF!

love and light

Indrani