When I say NO… Do you hear MAYBE?

Saying NO via beliefnet.com

A case study in Nonviolent communication. I just got a call from a charity for Breast Cancer Research asking for a little something for underprivileged women. This is how it began: Me …Hello Them…Is the lady of the house there? Me…Who’s calling? Note that I did not say… Oh yes, I am the lady of… [Continue Reading]

Oneupmanship, Dismissal, Pity does NOT equal EMPATHY.

Woman with Arms Crossed by Picasso

I was at a meeting recently and one of the ladies offered something sad about a parent’s death. The look on her face clearly said “I am in pain, I don’t expect anyone to fix it, I am just sharing and I just need an ear”. Clearly, at least to me. What happened then was… [Continue Reading]

Are You Trying to Intentionally Hurt Me?… Because When You Speak those Words, You Touch Shame

Dealing with Shame

Two Saturdays ago, I was immersed in Dr. Brene Brown’s work on Shame on Shame and Resilience.  From that point forward, I knew I would be fundamentally changed but I had no earthly idea just how much. This whole week I have been observing my own shame reactions. I had actually thought that I had… [Continue Reading]

Shame thy name is FEAR and PAIN

I Thought It Was Just Me

I have had the great fortune of being immersed in the teachings of Dr. Brene Brown (see her on TED.com here) The work that we are doing is focused on shame and guilt. Dr. Brown’s work on SHAME can be found in her book I Thought It Was Just Me. I recommend it, HIGHLY. Until… [Continue Reading]