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Be prepared…

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While growing up in Trinidad, West Indies, I was a Girl Guide. I was a troop leader and I guess, in hindsight I did learn a few things that have stuck.

The most important thing I learned was to BE PREPARED!

For what?

For what life brings.

Now it does not always work out that we can be prepared. Lord knows life has a way of throwing curve balls.

BUT, there are some things that are absolutely clear and the stuff you need is very apparent.

Going to swim? You need a suit, unless it’s skinny dipping time!

Going to lunch? You need money, unless someone else is paying.

Going to a conference with thousands in attendance for which you paid a hefty price? You need BUSINESS CARDS!!!!

I was recently at a conference with 1000+ attendees and almost 50% of the people I gave my card to said some version of “I left my cards at home”!

What does this have to do with you?

It all comes down to setting an INTENTION.

When you decide to do something, what is your intention?

Do you have a clear vision for what it is that you are doing?

For example, do you have a clear intention for that email that you want to send to a friend who always bothers you?

Do you have a set intention for dealing with the boss who always berates you in public?

As humans, we tend to allow our fears or our excitement cloud our bigger vision.

Folks were so excited to come to the conference that they lost track of the importance of leaving a trail…their business card.

Not only must you leave a trail, you must leave an impression. So you have to KNOW why you are attending and what you want from the conference.

If it’s just an excuse for a vacation then that is okay because that’s the intention. Accept it and speak it; give it voice and energy.

If your brain goes on freeze mode when you see your boss approaching, you must practice how to unfreeze your brain when you are not with your boss. Get a trusted friend to role play with you.

The point is, if you do not have a clear picture of how you want things to go, how can you get the help/resources you need to move ahead?

So make your plans and BE PREPARED!

 

Love and light,

Indrani

Gratitude, Presence and Self-care…a GPS for life’s twists and turns.

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How many of us now depend on devices that help us to navigate our way to a new destination? The answer is lots of us.

How many of us refuse to tune into our inner GPS to find the way to Peace and Joy? The answer is LOTS of us.

While it is easy to just put an address into your device and get directions, you still must do a few things:

-You must keep the device charged so you can use it.
-You have to learn how to input the address and where to find the app that gives the directions.
-You have to have the presence of mind to closely follow the directions and make the turns that it suggests or you will not get to where you want to go.

This is also true of our internal GPS. Yes, we all have one.
The inner GPS is called intuition. Your intuition will give you hints of Yes and No when you are turning in a direction that is not aligned with the work you were sent here to do. Your work may or may not coincide with the job you have. If it does, you will feel joyful and fulfilled even if there are many struggles in your life. If, however, your job makes you depleted and sad, then your work that you are meant to do is far from what you do daily.

There is a quick fix for this. Yes, a quick fix.

Your intuition wants to steer you into the work you are meant to do and it can if you begin to feel grateful for all the things that you have, even the challenges. Being able to stay present in the midst of challenge and being grateful for the lesson in the challenge is the quickest way to JOY. I promise you, this really does work.

Every night before bed, I write at least 5 things that I am grateful for and I go to bed with gratitude in my head and heart. The “S” in the GPS is for self-care. That means that you put yourself at the TOP of each list you have, and you must be sure you do something for yourself each day. It can be as simple as allowing the answering machine to get the phone calls for a short time while you do a special something. It can be reading a good book, taking a bath, sitting in silence, listening to your favorite music, chatting with a treasured friend, etc. These snippets of self care do not have to look like taking a whole weekend off to go to the spa, although that’s good too!

Waiting for the “right” moment for self-care is a great way to put off self-care. It is a good way to fool yourself into thinking that you have made yourself a priority.

If you are a subscriber to my newsletter, you have received my 5 minutes to Happiness tool that allows you to quickly tap into your positive traits. If you are brave enough to align your behaviors with your positive traits you will have found a quick way to follow your inner GPS.

You can get 5 minutes to Happiness here.

Give this a try for 7 days. I would love to hear how it works for you!

Love and light
Indrani

Blessed out

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On 12/24 I was involved in something that will make this Holiday really memorable.

Let me tell you what it was NOT.

It was not something that I have to store.

It will not clutter my life.

It does not sparkle in the usual way.

It did not cost me an arm and a leg.

I did not incur any credit card debt.

Everyone who heard about it loved it and some were even jealous that they did not do it.

 

This is what I did…

I was part of a group that hosted a Christmas Party for a group of homeless folk. I was a part of a team of people who provided gifts and food. I did something a little extra. I created a Book Store background and I set up an author signing table and signed books for anyone who wanted one. The party was magical. It was a blessing to be able to spend part of my holiday with these guys. They showed up with a smile. They relished their food and their gifts and some of them sat down and began to read. One beautiful woman said, “I ain’t never meet me a real author before”. I gave her a huge hug and said I was so glad to meet her.

 

When folks live on the streets or in the woods, their possessions have to be functional. Nothing too heavy, or requires too much care. So books may not be so practical. They can get wet or be too bulky for a bag that is already crammed. My hope is that they read as much as they need and then repurpose it as needed. It may end up as kindling for a fire on a cold night. Some of the pages may become a napkin. It may even be a pillow. The book will disappear at some point in their lives. It will be with them for exactly the amount of time they need it and they will forget it and move on.

 

I will not forget the memories I made giving it to them and the feeling I had in my heart.

I am grateful that they came and shared part of their day with me.

I hope that 2012 will be better for them than 2011.

That is my prayer.

 

Doing something for folks in need is one of the quickest ways to get blessed out.

 

I wish you a blessed out New Year. Dream Large in 2012. The world needs us all to show up to the fullest extent of our capacities.

 

Love and light

Indrani

First DO no MORE harm.

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By: Alanzo Moreno and Jonathan Bout, Damien High School, La Verne, CA - Winners of The Search For Peace Art Exhibit in Los Angeles

The title of this blog may sound a little dark. I don’t mean it to be. I am taking 100% responsibility for the sentiments expressed here.

First a confession:

I have done harm.

I have dome harm to myself, to those I love and to those I don’t love.

There was a time when I did not care about the harm I had done and I happily continued to do more. Of this I am not proud.

I have learned to bring compassion to the person I was then and I know that I was doing the best I could.

Oprah said “when you know better, you do better”

I believe. I Believe.

On this side of 50, I know better.

I have tried to temper my words, my thoughts, my actions and my intentions, in such a way as to show respect for all things and people.

I am not always successful. Sometimes I recognize when I fail and other times I do not.

I am still in training; I will always be a student.

My mantra for 2012 is to

DO NO MORE HARM, at least to try.

In order to walk this talk I must be PRESENT.

PRESENT TO MYSELF, MY THOUGHTS AND TO THE WORLD.

I know that this will not be easy. It is actually harder than getting a PhD.

There are no set guidelines or rules or schools to help me get there.

There are however, guides, living and dead who in my opinion, have tried to live without doing harm.

I can learn from them, read about them and emulate them.

Some which come to mind are:

 The Dalai Lama

 Mother Theresa

 Pema Chodron

 Nelson Mandela

 Jesus Christ

 Buddha

 Children

 

I will be a student of these and others who cross my life. I will start today.

Will you join me?

Who are some of your models for DO NO MORE HARM?

 Love and light

What does an Activist look like?

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Who can change the world? Does it have to be a huge change or just something you can handle?

This week, the medical elective at The Gesundheit Institiute hosts an amazing group of young medical students whom plan to do just that. Change the world…one medical evaluation at a time.
They come from all over the world but have the same heart and speak the same language of healing.
Do your part, heal someone less fortunate today. Just because it’s the right thing to do.

Stop this wheel…I wanna get off!!!

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It occurred to me this week that I have been on a hamster wheel. I really did not know when I got here, but I know how. Since the beginning of the year when I decided to change my profit business into a foundation, I have been pushing, spinning, looking for what to do next.

The social media has me going crazy. To tweet or not? To Face book or not?  How many blogs are enough to show that I am serious about my cause/ movement? How many newsletters are too little, or too many? I do not want to flood my readers, but I don’t want to lose them either. Can I tell one list about everything or do I have to split my message to fine tune my reach?

What to do when I find out that my newsletter provider, Mail Chimp gets upset and sends me nasty messages? How do I get my blogs out there so that my efforts are magnified without extra work?

If you have a business on the Internet you know exactly what I mean.

What if you don’t?

Does this hamster wheel thing still apply to you?

Well, are you working, inside or outside the home?

Do you have kids or a spouse?

Are you a single mom just trying to stay afloat?

Do you have aging parents who count on you?

Do you have siblings who don’t pick up any slack?

Do you have a job that drains you of your life force?

Do you have a boss from hell?

Shall I go on?

Ok then, do you have to leave your kids while you travel for your high profile job?

Has your husband lost his job and now resents that he is depending on you?

Ok, you get it, you really do get it.

What’s a girl to do?

Let me tell you about a wonderful coaching tool that Martha Beck taught me and uses relentlessly with her own clients.

It is called the 3 B’s:

Bag it

Barter it

Better it

 

Let’s start with bag it.

This simply means to let it go. Let it go if it does not provide anything that is useful to your family. Do you really have to scrub the tub every day? Do you have to fold everyone’s laundry? Do you even have to do everyone’s laundry? What would happen if your teenager had to wear clothes that were strewn on the ground because they did not know if they were clean? Who would care? If the answer is “yes, I would care” I must ask WHY?

Would you care because the school may think you are a bad mom? Would it mean you loved your child any less? Let me float something… would the world come to an end?

 

Ok let’s go to barter it.

Barter means to exchange something for something else. Are you a computer whiz? Do you have a friend who is pitiful with her computer but she is an excellent cook. Can you barter a few home cooked meals per week for some computer lessons? She might be so appreciative if you suggested that. Are you low on funds and cannot get those little perks like a haircut or an occasional manicure?

Can you approach the owner of the Salon and offer to Face Book her services and do some tweets so he can get some exposure? Do you get the picture? The other kind of barter is you exchange $ for a job you cannot do. At Christmas time I pay my wonderful handy man (my house hold husband) to take down the Christmas tree and to retrieve all the boxes from the attic. How does he know where it all is? Easy, he put them away last year. He actually knows more than I do about my Christmas stuff.

 

Now to Better it.

Better it means to make the experience a little (or a lot ) better by playing some tricks on yourself.

Let’s say you have to get a root canal and you hate the dentist. You cannot bag it or you will be in pain and your tooth will get worse and fall out. You cannot barter it, because no one can do it for you. How can you better it? You could take your iPod and make a play list of soothing music to help you through it so you won’t have to hear the sound of the dreaded drill. You could dab some perfume on your upper lip so you won’t smell that burning as much. You could go shopping after, or treat yourself to a massage right after the dentist and you could barter the massage for some social media exposure for the therapist.

I hope by now you are getting it. It just requires a little forethought. This little investment will reap huge results. Now I need to find someone to barter a full blown Thanksgiving Dinner… any takers? I am a really great coach, can you use some coaching for a home cooked meal?

Chew on that a while, no pun intended.

Love and light

The Courage of a Stallion

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How much do you think a stallion weighs? Go ahead…make a guess.

Do you think that a stallion has courage and strength? Do you think the bigger the stallion, the more courageous? Daring? What if I told you that there is a breed of stallions that weight about 28 lbs? Would you believe me? Well here is photo of it and here is the web link to learn more.

I challenge you to step up to your courage and valor in spite of the thought that you may not be BIG enough or STRONG enough. If you could NOT believe that you needed a certain size or a certain societal prerequisite to embody stallion-like characteristics how would you be different?

I was applying for a program one day and they asked my height and I responded “a statuesque 5 ft 1 inch”. I really do feel tall. I forget that people see me as a small woman. My courage is as large as any I have ever met. I invite you to step into your courage.

BTW if you are in Austin,TX or the surroundings on 10/22, come hear me present an exhilarating talk sponsored by O Magazine and Ikea. It starts at 10.30am. I would LOVE to see you. Be sure to say hello.

Love and light Indrani

Graffiti

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I have been looking back at my life recently and began to see that my life has been like a big wall. Grounded, and in the early days that wall had the potential to become the wall of an office building to achieving success in business; a wall of a home, a structure of nurturing & safety; a wall in a place of worship reflecting spirituality. That wall was blank with the potential of being built into so much.

Over the years the people I have encountered have put their mark on the wall, leaving graffiti.  The wall has names painted on it, initials carved into it, cracks in the plaster.  Some of the paint is faded from time, some paint dripped down the side.  The facade of the wall is caked with life experiences, people and places.  Its hard to even see what the wall was originally, what its intent was.  Like a spray painted subway car, my life and wall have evolved into a montage of other peoples art on my canvas.  I wonder how I had let that happen.  Like any graffiti, some of it is good, creative, and inspiring and some of it is ugly, distasteful and depreciating.

While searching for something deep inside I started peeling off the layers of paint, scrubbing off the dirt and dust of the years, and scratched below the surface to see what was underneath.  What I found was the same foundation of dreams, aspirations, ambitions, core beliefs and principles.  They had not be lost amongst the Jackson Pollock-like splatter of the whos’ who of whose been here.

In my excitement of seeing that my true self still exists I am empowered to apply fresh paint to my wall of life.  The new paint accents my convictions and truths, enhancing the beauty of the work done by others, but removing the old, unloving defacements. I feel a sense of renovation, renewal and inspiration.  Preparing myself to stand strong again to the elements of this lifetime.

 

 

 

Is your mobile phone more important that your child?

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I was in a store the other day and overheard this: “Sit down and be quiet, you cannot disturb your mother while she shops” said a male voice. Then I saw that mom was about 8 months pregnant and sent her some silent blessings and good energy. It was hot, her belly was heavy and she needed nursing bras. Been there…it’s not so much fun!

As I was leaving the store, I saw the father happily playing on the telephone as the 2-1/2 or 3 year old just SAT alone, STARING into space. I opened the door…and then changed my mind. I went over to the sweet little boy and gave him a magazine from the shelf with these LOUD words, “Here honey, it’s not a KIDS magazine but there are some pretty pictures”. Dad smiled at me and then I said, still looking and smiling at the little one “Dad, give your son the telephone so he can play games and you sit and stare into space” and I left.

PEOPLE what are we doing? I see moms pushing babies in strollers and talking on cell phones. What is so damned important? Is EVERYONE a brain surgeon?

I hear parents complaining that their teenagers sit at the dinner table texting and ignore the family. Where are they learning it? What are we modeling for this generation?

It is the ADULTS who are modeling how, when, and where to use cell phones. The kids are SIMPLY following our leads.

I have a challenge for my readers:

  •  If you have young kids, do not talk on the cell phone when you are supposed to be actively parenting.
  • If your kids are grown and you see a young mom ignoring their young kids to chat on the phone, go up and engage the child and ask mom if she’s having an emergency and needs help.
  • If you see a father ignoring his children to be on the phone, find a way to say something.

If we all just shake our heads and say “who’s minding the kids while we chat away?” then NOTHING will change.

 Maybe these parents were themselves ignored. So let’s save a generation. Let’s speak up for the little ones so that they get as much parent time as they get free minutes.

Here’s a great guide to the time you spend with your kids:

  • Take a stab at the NUMBER of QUALITY hours you have given your kids over the past few months. Write it down. Look at the last 6 months of cell phone usage and take the average and compare the two numbers.

Guess what? If you are on the phone, you are not engaged with your kids.

I hope that is a wake-up call for this generation of parents. If you do not change, please do not complain that your kids are ignoring you when they are all grown up. After all, you must ask yourself “where did they learn to ignore their families so brilliantly?”

Maybe we should all just be looking in the mirrors.

 

Love and light from Indrani

These united states of CONFUSION – PART 3

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If you missed parts 1 &2, here they are: Part 1 & Part 2 

This week we focus on the Ultimate Principle and the YOU Principle. Let’s just collapse it for this blog as your Ultimate You. The YOU you were created to be. The reason you were born.

Were you born to watch 5 or 6 hours of TV every night?

Were you born to do a job that robs you of your life source and drains you of every ounce of dignity?

Is the life you are living, the life you had hoped to live?

 

Who do you WISH you could be?

Try answering the following questions:

  • If no one would be upset at you, what would you LOVE to be doing with your life?
  • If you knew that you had only 3 months to live, what would you be doing differently?

 Take a moment to look at your answers and answer this next question:

  • If you could accomplish the above listed dreams, how would you feel?
  • What would your life look like?
  • Who would be in your life?
  • What clothing would you be wearing?
  • How would you KNOW that you were happy? In other words, what would you feel?

 

These are hard questions and the answers are quite elusive. I once asked the first question in a workshop and one of the answers was “I would run naked on the beach”. THAT is SO doable! But she would not give herself permission to do it because of the societal voices in her head that she was not pretty enough or skinny enough to run naked on the beach.

What do you wish you could give yourself permission to do?

 I invite you to at least write it down…what could it hurt?

Why not print out these 3 blogs on Confusion and keep it close at hand for easy reference.

The book takes you deeper into the process so here is where you can get it http://indranislight.org/products-page/product-category/the-indrani-principle-inhale-life-exhale-joy/.

 

Love and light