Tag Archives: happiness

Snowflakes and days

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Winter is here and recently I came to the conclusion that days are like snowflakes.

No two ice crystals are alike yet they are all called snowflakes.
We know flakes are white, they have six little crystals reaching out from the center, but from there the design, shape, texture of that snowflake is unique.

Days are the same way. We all have a 24 hour period that is called a “day”. But no two days are alike even though we generalize and say that they are.
Each day is a gift from God and each day really is different than the last.
Your today and my today are totally unique, as are our yesterdays.

Snowflakes can be be packed together and thrown as a snow ball, and we can have fun with it.
Snowflakes can be slushy, slippery and we may find ourself delayed in where we are going.
Snowflakes can be used to create building snowmen and igloos.
Lots of snowflakes and we want to curl up with the ones we love for warmth.
We get to decide what we would like to do with the snow, or just let it sit in the yard.

So each day, just like the snowflakes we can decide:
if we want to have fun with it,
if something in the day is going to delay us or slow us down
if we want to create something with it
if we want to get closer to the ones we love
or if we are going to do nothing with it.

Remember snowflakes melt fast!

What are you going to do with each day, that unique gift you are given every 24 hours before it melts away?

Don’t click send

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You hear about it all the time Facebook this and Facebook that. Are you on Facebook?  Find me on Facebook!   Friend me!

Facebook is a wonderful tool to connect with many people especially during the holidays.  We can send virtual cards, post on their Facebook walls, share holiday photos.  We can connect with so many so fast, but are we really connecting?

The electronic connections are conveinent, wide spread and inexpensive.  Not a lot of thought is required.  The entire cyber world can see anything we write so we keep things generic, superficially friendly and warm for all to read.   Then we move on with our day. Is this really connecting?  Is this a joyful connection?  I think we can all admit no.  It is nice and easy but it is not a joyful interaction.

Think about when you receive an electronic greeting or Facebook post, are you really touched by the connection?

Is it heartfelt, is it meaningful, is it memorable?

Joyful connections may take a little more time than a Facebook post but they can mean so much more.  So my holiday challenge to you is this… Before you send that e-card, e-gift, post on Facebook stop to think about that person and consider whether a visit, a phone call, a hand written note or card would be a special way of letting someone know you are thinking about them during this special time of year.

Take the extra effort to connect with those who you love, or people who need a little extra love, who may be struggling for whatever reason, and show them you have them in your mind and heart.

It will mean more to them, and put joy in your heart. Truly a connection that works both ways.

Sleigh bells ring you listenin’

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Are you listenin’? And I am not talking about listenin’ to a bombardment of holiday ads to buy, the sound of cash registers, the voices of people clambering around stressed out searching to meet the expectations that come prepackaged with the season.

Are you listenin’ to your true self and what you need?

Does that sound selfish during a time of year that is meant for giving? It is not, because only you know what you need and in order to give to others you need to give to yourself first. Carve out the time to give to yourself. That can be in the form of a hot bath, time to read, a much needed nap, or the ability to say I have done enough for today and not push through one more store. What if I told you that holiday memories can be made and you don’t have to go to Macy’s to find them?

Look in the mirror.

Invest the time in yourself to be happy, be healthier, be lighter in spirit and present your true higher self to the ones you love this holiday season. This would be a precious gift providing holiday memories of a lifetime. People would remember your warm embrace, your smile that lights-up the room, the song of your laughter in the air.

For those people in your life who cannot see this dearest gift of YOU, no box wrapped in shiny paper will warm their heart or bring them into the truest spirit of love and giving. Say a prayer for them, one of hope and joy that they will realize their true self which will bring happiness and peace to their life.

What does an Activist look like?

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Who can change the world? Does it have to be a huge change or just something you can handle?

This week, the medical elective at The Gesundheit Institiute hosts an amazing group of young medical students whom plan to do just that. Change the world…one medical evaluation at a time.
They come from all over the world but have the same heart and speak the same language of healing.
Do your part, heal someone less fortunate today. Just because it’s the right thing to do.

Stop this wheel…I wanna get off!!!

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It occurred to me this week that I have been on a hamster wheel. I really did not know when I got here, but I know how. Since the beginning of the year when I decided to change my profit business into a foundation, I have been pushing, spinning, looking for what to do next.

The social media has me going crazy. To tweet or not? To Face book or not?  How many blogs are enough to show that I am serious about my cause/ movement? How many newsletters are too little, or too many? I do not want to flood my readers, but I don’t want to lose them either. Can I tell one list about everything or do I have to split my message to fine tune my reach?

What to do when I find out that my newsletter provider, Mail Chimp gets upset and sends me nasty messages? How do I get my blogs out there so that my efforts are magnified without extra work?

If you have a business on the Internet you know exactly what I mean.

What if you don’t?

Does this hamster wheel thing still apply to you?

Well, are you working, inside or outside the home?

Do you have kids or a spouse?

Are you a single mom just trying to stay afloat?

Do you have aging parents who count on you?

Do you have siblings who don’t pick up any slack?

Do you have a job that drains you of your life force?

Do you have a boss from hell?

Shall I go on?

Ok then, do you have to leave your kids while you travel for your high profile job?

Has your husband lost his job and now resents that he is depending on you?

Ok, you get it, you really do get it.

What’s a girl to do?

Let me tell you about a wonderful coaching tool that Martha Beck taught me and uses relentlessly with her own clients.

It is called the 3 B’s:

Bag it

Barter it

Better it

 

Let’s start with bag it.

This simply means to let it go. Let it go if it does not provide anything that is useful to your family. Do you really have to scrub the tub every day? Do you have to fold everyone’s laundry? Do you even have to do everyone’s laundry? What would happen if your teenager had to wear clothes that were strewn on the ground because they did not know if they were clean? Who would care? If the answer is “yes, I would care” I must ask WHY?

Would you care because the school may think you are a bad mom? Would it mean you loved your child any less? Let me float something… would the world come to an end?

 

Ok let’s go to barter it.

Barter means to exchange something for something else. Are you a computer whiz? Do you have a friend who is pitiful with her computer but she is an excellent cook. Can you barter a few home cooked meals per week for some computer lessons? She might be so appreciative if you suggested that. Are you low on funds and cannot get those little perks like a haircut or an occasional manicure?

Can you approach the owner of the Salon and offer to Face Book her services and do some tweets so he can get some exposure? Do you get the picture? The other kind of barter is you exchange $ for a job you cannot do. At Christmas time I pay my wonderful handy man (my house hold husband) to take down the Christmas tree and to retrieve all the boxes from the attic. How does he know where it all is? Easy, he put them away last year. He actually knows more than I do about my Christmas stuff.

 

Now to Better it.

Better it means to make the experience a little (or a lot ) better by playing some tricks on yourself.

Let’s say you have to get a root canal and you hate the dentist. You cannot bag it or you will be in pain and your tooth will get worse and fall out. You cannot barter it, because no one can do it for you. How can you better it? You could take your iPod and make a play list of soothing music to help you through it so you won’t have to hear the sound of the dreaded drill. You could dab some perfume on your upper lip so you won’t smell that burning as much. You could go shopping after, or treat yourself to a massage right after the dentist and you could barter the massage for some social media exposure for the therapist.

I hope by now you are getting it. It just requires a little forethought. This little investment will reap huge results. Now I need to find someone to barter a full blown Thanksgiving Dinner… any takers? I am a really great coach, can you use some coaching for a home cooked meal?

Chew on that a while, no pun intended.

Love and light

GOOGLE THIS!!

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Almost everything in this world can be Googled, right?

I can learn how to build a plane.

I can get piano lessons.

I can learn how to yodel.

I can teach myself Chinese.

Everything, right? Is that true?

 

NO, it is not.

I cannot access my inner wisdom with Google.

Wouldn’t it be great if there was a site called www.intuition.source?

HaHa! Maybe Google will steal that idea!

Yes, I want a .source.

We have .tv and .net and .com and .org and .edu and .gov etc so I want a .source.

Should we feel “Crap! Then what’s a person to do?”

NO NO NO… I have the answer (read this sentence in a southern preacher voice)

YES my friends I haaavvveee the AAAnnnsweer.

 

 

Drum roll please…..

 

You already have a .source.

You have it within you.

There is an internal wisdom that most of us ignore.

 

This wisdom sometimes comes as a soft whisper, sometimes a moving picture in your head, or maybe a gut feeling. All of these ways are soft knowings of what your next best step needs to be.

These “knowings” are never judgmental shouts as in “you idiot you should’ve blah blah blah”

 

The knowings are comforting, even though they may be the biggest risk you ever took in your life.

 

To access this gift, just get quiet.

Try meditating, or prayer, or a silent walk.

 

Try a day of total silence; put this on your e mail responder and on your telephone messages.

 

You have much to gain and nothing to lose…

.source is waiting

Don’t touch that stove!

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Our mother’s told it to us, we have said it to our kids… don’t touch the stove! It is hot, you’ll get burned!”

Growing up, it did not take usually but one burn to realize yes indeed the stove is hot, and the pain ensues. We learned quickly. Once, maybe twice, but never again do we put our hand on the stove. Same lesson applied to open flames.

But why, oh why, do the lessons not sink in when it comes to the heart. Flames of the heart cause more enduring pain than a hot burner on the stove. Yet we do not learn.

We try from one relationship to the next hoping it will be better. Yet in retrospect the people who I thought would be the great love have many of the same traits of former greats. Why when we know we will get burned, hurt, scared do we seek out the same traits over and over again?

What lessons are we missing the first, second, third time around with people that prevents us from learning that injury is imminent and we should proceed with caution?

I throw these questions out there not with some new revelation that can prevent future pain, but as rhetorical. Food for thought.

Thinking this morning I just was considering the people in my life and the same traits they all hold when I initially thought they were someone different. Why can’t I learn this, when it only took one time with my hand on a burner to know not to touch a hot stove?

Which lesson was easier for you, the hot stove or a flame of the heart?

Graffiti

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I have been looking back at my life recently and began to see that my life has been like a big wall. Grounded, and in the early days that wall had the potential to become the wall of an office building to achieving success in business; a wall of a home, a structure of nurturing & safety; a wall in a place of worship reflecting spirituality. That wall was blank with the potential of being built into so much.

Over the years the people I have encountered have put their mark on the wall, leaving graffiti.  The wall has names painted on it, initials carved into it, cracks in the plaster.  Some of the paint is faded from time, some paint dripped down the side.  The facade of the wall is caked with life experiences, people and places.  Its hard to even see what the wall was originally, what its intent was.  Like a spray painted subway car, my life and wall have evolved into a montage of other peoples art on my canvas.  I wonder how I had let that happen.  Like any graffiti, some of it is good, creative, and inspiring and some of it is ugly, distasteful and depreciating.

While searching for something deep inside I started peeling off the layers of paint, scrubbing off the dirt and dust of the years, and scratched below the surface to see what was underneath.  What I found was the same foundation of dreams, aspirations, ambitions, core beliefs and principles.  They had not be lost amongst the Jackson Pollock-like splatter of the whos’ who of whose been here.

In my excitement of seeing that my true self still exists I am empowered to apply fresh paint to my wall of life.  The new paint accents my convictions and truths, enhancing the beauty of the work done by others, but removing the old, unloving defacements. I feel a sense of renovation, renewal and inspiration.  Preparing myself to stand strong again to the elements of this lifetime.

 

 

 

Is your mobile phone more important that your child?

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I was in a store the other day and overheard this: “Sit down and be quiet, you cannot disturb your mother while she shops” said a male voice. Then I saw that mom was about 8 months pregnant and sent her some silent blessings and good energy. It was hot, her belly was heavy and she needed nursing bras. Been there…it’s not so much fun!

As I was leaving the store, I saw the father happily playing on the telephone as the 2-1/2 or 3 year old just SAT alone, STARING into space. I opened the door…and then changed my mind. I went over to the sweet little boy and gave him a magazine from the shelf with these LOUD words, “Here honey, it’s not a KIDS magazine but there are some pretty pictures”. Dad smiled at me and then I said, still looking and smiling at the little one “Dad, give your son the telephone so he can play games and you sit and stare into space” and I left.

PEOPLE what are we doing? I see moms pushing babies in strollers and talking on cell phones. What is so damned important? Is EVERYONE a brain surgeon?

I hear parents complaining that their teenagers sit at the dinner table texting and ignore the family. Where are they learning it? What are we modeling for this generation?

It is the ADULTS who are modeling how, when, and where to use cell phones. The kids are SIMPLY following our leads.

I have a challenge for my readers:

  •  If you have young kids, do not talk on the cell phone when you are supposed to be actively parenting.
  • If your kids are grown and you see a young mom ignoring their young kids to chat on the phone, go up and engage the child and ask mom if she’s having an emergency and needs help.
  • If you see a father ignoring his children to be on the phone, find a way to say something.

If we all just shake our heads and say “who’s minding the kids while we chat away?” then NOTHING will change.

 Maybe these parents were themselves ignored. So let’s save a generation. Let’s speak up for the little ones so that they get as much parent time as they get free minutes.

Here’s a great guide to the time you spend with your kids:

  • Take a stab at the NUMBER of QUALITY hours you have given your kids over the past few months. Write it down. Look at the last 6 months of cell phone usage and take the average and compare the two numbers.

Guess what? If you are on the phone, you are not engaged with your kids.

I hope that is a wake-up call for this generation of parents. If you do not change, please do not complain that your kids are ignoring you when they are all grown up. After all, you must ask yourself “where did they learn to ignore their families so brilliantly?”

Maybe we should all just be looking in the mirrors.

 

Love and light from Indrani

These united states of CONFUSION – PART 3

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If you missed parts 1 &2, here they are: Part 1 & Part 2 

This week we focus on the Ultimate Principle and the YOU Principle. Let’s just collapse it for this blog as your Ultimate You. The YOU you were created to be. The reason you were born.

Were you born to watch 5 or 6 hours of TV every night?

Were you born to do a job that robs you of your life source and drains you of every ounce of dignity?

Is the life you are living, the life you had hoped to live?

 

Who do you WISH you could be?

Try answering the following questions:

  • If no one would be upset at you, what would you LOVE to be doing with your life?
  • If you knew that you had only 3 months to live, what would you be doing differently?

 Take a moment to look at your answers and answer this next question:

  • If you could accomplish the above listed dreams, how would you feel?
  • What would your life look like?
  • Who would be in your life?
  • What clothing would you be wearing?
  • How would you KNOW that you were happy? In other words, what would you feel?

 

These are hard questions and the answers are quite elusive. I once asked the first question in a workshop and one of the answers was “I would run naked on the beach”. THAT is SO doable! But she would not give herself permission to do it because of the societal voices in her head that she was not pretty enough or skinny enough to run naked on the beach.

What do you wish you could give yourself permission to do?

 I invite you to at least write it down…what could it hurt?

Why not print out these 3 blogs on Confusion and keep it close at hand for easy reference.

The book takes you deeper into the process so here is where you can get it http://indranislight.org/products-page/product-category/the-indrani-principle-inhale-life-exhale-joy/.

 

Love and light